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Nelson Evening Mail, Volume XVI, Issue 120, 21 May 1881, Page 2

Two bookmaking horse-owners wrote to the stewards of the South Australian Jockey Club, to the effect that if tho totalisator was ÜBed, they wonld not run their, horses. Tho ciub eleoted to stand by the totalisator. It is said tbat Mr. Branch (the owner of Progress) won £5000 ; Mr. W. A. Long (the owner of Grand Flaneur) £4000; and Mr. Jacobs £3000, in, aU £12,000, over the victory of .Progress, fn th* Sydney GoW Cup,

Two French philosophers having kept nine hogs drunk for a year as a scientific experiment, an American paper says '.—That's just the way some folks cast their pearls before •wine. Why couldn't they have let some New York men havo the fun of tho experiment. Inebriate lying in the suow before hiß house door: " How is it ? Have I been dreaming, while I was lying snugly in bed, that I had come down a cropper in tho snow; or am I really lying in the snow, and have 1 been only dreaming I was in bee?" Some little time ago an American golddigger's wife sued for a divorce on tbe ground of cruelty— her husband would not buy her gloves. But (he District Court decided that coverings for tho hauds wero not "necessaries" for the spouse of a mau who habitually fried bacon on a shovel, mended his clothes 'with old flour sacks, and ate his pork and beans op, the lid of a Un " hilly » ip which he boiled his tta. A story is told of a German shoemaker, who. having fonde a pair of boots for a gentleman of .whose financial integrity he bftd considerable doubt, made tho following reply tobinl when he called for the articles: " Der pbot» ish not quite done, but der bill ish macU out,'* "My wife even hear of my feoing to the theatro with another lady,'* said Johnson. Ragbag didn't stem to construe Johnson* remark aright, ior ho said: "Won't, eh? Don't he too sure of it. 1 thought my wift wouldn't, but she did, and 1 had a fearful time about it,'' The man who sighs " How soon we ac forgotten," \M duly to leave an hotel without paying his bill to fiud how Badly mistaken he is. A few days ago a youthful Zulu of f aboui twelve summers, named Voa Blossom, \\ix-> convicted of stealing In a Galveston Court, and sentenced to imprisonment in tho couutry gaol. " 110 is rather young to steal 1 should suppose," rt mat Iced a bystander to Uncle Moso, " No, sali, bo in not too younj.' to steal, but ho is cotohed a little curlier den de rest ob Vm, (hit's all." As yet there has only been oilo seizure mado by the pdlieo of Urn implelnents used hy "John 55 in the game of fan-tan. The game in reality is similar to that known as under und over." Thero is a lead pinto übout sixteen inches square, which iH placed on a table. At ono end a Chinaman, who would in English be eallod a croupier, takes his position, and opposite him in the bunker. The sides on the right und left hand of the croupier are made up of even numbers, viz , two and four.. The other two ure odd, being one und three. Those playing place European monoy on which sido tbeir fancy directs them ; the excitement then commences. The croupier has a grent heap of Chinese money on his right-hand side, which is Bimply used as counters. Ho takes a metal ctip and scoops the coins it contilins, empties them obt on the tablo, and counts theth, If they Are found to be an eVen htithber those who hacked the right and left side of the croupier wins the amount stakfed less 86 pel' ceht, which the croupier claims for the use of his stock, and 5 per cent, is claimed by the proprietor of the house where the game is played. It is astonisbihg how Intent the Chinamen are in playing this simple game. They never take their eyes off the table or the croupier. When Sergeant Anderson, who is no small man, visited the gambling house on Saturday night he was several minutes in the room before he was observed, although nine of them were playing. When he was seen howevor, several of them made a hee line for the door. When tho croupier saw Sergeant Anderson he gathered up all his tools and as much of the money as he could lay his hands on, ftnd Waa making oif with the rest of his assofciates. He wtis, of course, allowed to go, but minus his fan-tin implements. If "John" is brought before the Court at all the charge will be an indictable one, as thero is no local Act here which would deal wilh the matter.— N.Z. Times Aaron Sherrit, who was shot by tha Kelly gang, seems to have been a moat remarkable man. " He was," says Mr Hare, " the most perfect bushmau I ever saw in my life, but he said he was nothing to Ned K>l!y, thsugb he could lick every other man in the country, including Byrne, whom he had fought ai various times, and alwajs beaten. Sherrit ■aid that Ned could never be taken ; thi police could get all but him. I never could believe that any man was able to undergo Bueh hardships and such endurance as Sherrit He would go for days and nights without sleep. He despised clothing. I remember one bitter cold night, his sleeping under a tree in his shirtsleeve!, while all of us were wrapped up to tbe cbini in great coats and furs. The man was like cast-iron, and yet he was only a sample of scores to he met with in the bush." Messrs Chambers 8r03., in th'ir mail circular, give some information which will be news to barley-growers. They say :— •' Barley has proved very difficult to tell English has been forced on the market at low rates, which has effected the value of all other kinds. It is found that much of the New Zealand does not grow readily, from being 12 months old. It should be shipped early, so as to be here to commence our malting season with, in August and September." We (Otago Daily Times) be lieve that hitherto an exactly opposite opinion has heen held here. The Herald noticing the arrival of tbe Simousen Opera Company at Whangarei says:— " Burly and clean Bhaveh Signors, and comely Signoras jostled one another on the wharf in most picturesque confusion. Cabmen were anathematised in the choicest Italian, and hotels were selected in a manner strongly suggestive of " hang the expense." Even opera singers are but human, and it was with a feeling of gratified surprise that we observed several babies in arms amongst the company. Cradled in opera, and nurtured near the footlights, tbere should be « promising future before these mites of humanity. The Timaru Harbor Board has recently invested in high legal opinion as to the interpretation of thepatticular Act under whicb the Board claims certain privileges. The Timaru Herald makeß merry over the result, asserting that the legal opinion given ia like tha showman's reply as to which was Daniel and which were tbe lions in his exhibition ot wondera,, ahd further suggests that some olher Harbor Board may be in want of a legal opinion about something, and tbat it might anawsr their purpose to take this one off the Timaru Harbor, Board's hands at a reduced price, allowance being made for wear and tear. Tbe Herald says the opinion is almost aa good as new, and at it appears to be capable of a great yariety of constructions, the mare fact of its having been framed to elucidate a particular case Bhould not materially affeot its value. A number of maiden ladies, residents in the Tyrol had such faith and interest in New Zealand as to invest largely in several pf our joint stock companies, notably the New Zealand and Sonth British Insurance Companies and Auckland Gas Company. Why don't they add to their enterprise by emigrating to these shores. Maidens who are able to invest largely should find a ready welcome trom young colonials. Dr Blandford, an eminent London physician makes the following remarks in his work on "Insanity and its Treatment M :— " Supposing we have to deal with a yonng man, whose parent, or brothers, or sisters, have been insane, or who at an early age has shown that he is himself not free from the family taint, we should advise that such a one 'should Jbe put to some occupation or calling not attended by any great harass or responsibility, one, of which the duties and work nre of a routine character, affording a fair opportunity of holiday and recreation. He should not follow the profession of- a lawyer or a doctor, for in them he will find hard and constant work, and the necessity of appearing in public; and his work and anxieties will follow him to his fireside, and hours of sleep. In the Church he will or maybe assailed by religious doubts, by a sense of duties insufficiently discharged, and by all that tends to religious melancholy. In the army he will be exposed to the temptations of an idle life and the vicissitudes of climate. No post is so suited to these individuals as that of a Government Office. The hours are light, the responsibility not formidable, the holidays long, and if th 6 emolument is not large, it is at any rate certain, and certainly is .above everything desirable." We wonder what tho worthy . doctor would have had to say on the subject, if ho had happened to have spent the last ttyelvejnoftths in New Zealand.

Tbe Patea Mail cays s— That wsb a f unpy mixture, when Bir William Fox went in a native canoe up the river to Tauroa's pah, the teetotal Commissioner at one end, and a barrel of beer at the other. They say the barrel was broached in Sir William's honor ; but then there are so many stories about A good story is told in connection with one of our Government departments. A junior official in the department had a complaint to make to headquarters. Letter after letter Was despatched without even an acknowledgment of their receipt beiog vouchsafed. The eleventh letter, however, brought an immediate answer. This called the official's attention tothe fact that he had forgotten to date his last letter, and he wfls therefore fined fis in accordance with the regulations of the service i ILB Herald. The Boßton Post sajs tbat there are now on the passage for England, os far aa can be estimated, 16,28^,0t»0 bushels of wheat, carried by 334 vessels. Of these, 148 vessels, with 9,000,000 bushels, are from California and Oregon ; 50 vessels, with 1,728,000 bushels, are from tha Atlantic ports of the United States ; 45 vessels, with 1 200,000 bushels, are from the Black Sea ; 25 vessels, wiih 824,000 bushels, are from Eirypt and India ; 25 vessels, witb 888 000 bushels ara from Chili; 41 vessels, wi h 1,0-18,000 bushels, are from Australia and Ke v Zealand. When a boy falls and peck the skin off his nose tbe first thing he does is to get up and yoll. Wben a girls falls and hurts herself badly the first thing sbo do:s is to get up and look at hor dress. The head of Lake Hawea must he a very paradise for sportsmen. The scenery i*** granl. there is means of comfort and tic■cimmodation, and game of every kind is abundant. A party of townsmen spent their Master holidays in that region, aud had a glorious time of it. One gentleman during his Btay bagged .'52 ducks and a score or so of otlier Native game, whilu another had to his credit 10 brace of ducks. They report the country as teeming wich wild fowl. A northern paper has the following : — " A singular accident happened to Rewi on hin way to the Hikurangi meeting He fell down a precipice 70 feet deep, from which he was taken up insensible by Messrs Ross, Thompson, and ' Mokau Jones." Riwi, when he recovered consciousness, asked to be dipped in the I'uni River, nnd afterwards found that he had recovered the use of his left arm, which had been for some time previously paralysed. Rewi was ca.ried back to his residence at Puni, where he remains for the present." Teacher! " Why dil Modes' mother hide him among the reeds?" Pupils " Because she didn't want to have him vaccinated."