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Nelson Evening Mail, Volume XV, Issue 262, 28 December 1880, Page 4

When a man says, "I hear a noise," it probably never occurs to him that there ia nothing iv this wide world that anybody can hear but a noise. A dull old lady, being told that a certain lawyer was lying at the point of death, exclaimed : "My gracious ! won't even death stop that man's lying ?" A steam-digger, designed to overturn and pulverize the soil as thoroughly as can be done with a spade, was ono of the most interesting objects shown at a recent exhibition of tue Royal Agricultural Society of Eogland, at Carlisle* £ 1000 worth of silks have been stolen from a Customs shed at Melbourne. The immense bouquets which fashionable London ladies carry at entertainments are so heavy that some of them are held top downwards, and some are hugged like babies or pugs. The London World suggests that they should be slung over the shoulder— like a picaninny. Photographer: "Now, sir, if you'd look a little lees as though you had a bill to meet, and a little more as if you'd been left a legacy, you'll be a picture." People who take moonlight strolls on railroad tracks shouldn't be surprised if the coroner doesn't recognise them. Alonzo wants to know "if it hurts a man to be called a liar? " No, Alonzo, no. It is more likely to hurt the other man. McSnivel sayß he has often been comforted in times of trouble by the beautiful text, " Honesty is the mother of invention." The penalty for knocking down a lawyer in New Jersey is the Bame as for stealing two hens from a doctor in Delaware. A physician seeing Cooke about to drink a glass of brandy, exclaimed, ' Don't drink that filthy stuff. Brandy is the worßt enemy you have.' ' I know that,' replied Cooke, ' but you know the Scripture commands us to love our enemies — so here goes.'