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Nelson Evening Mail, Volume XV, Issue XV, 22 November 1880, Page 2

The most matter-of-fact and wide awake coquette of modern days is surely the mercenary young lady who, having lately exerted all her charms to captivate a famous modern poet whose verses are much sought by publishers and editors, made it a conditioa of kis slavery that he should send her some nic« love verses, or at least something pretty on Terse, every day. Well, the poet, over head and heels in love, did so for nearly three weeks every other day, and would have been still doing so, probably, had he not at the end of that time found, «n taking up a new magazine, one of the sets of love verses be had seat to his lady-love printed in it, with his name in full at the foot. During the following week five or six more of his metrical compositions turning up in a similar way lie began to make searching enquiries, and in the end he discovered his heartless enslaver had sent all his verses to the various periodicals and journals, and what is more, received handsome cheques in return for each. On requesting an explanation, he was most cruelly snubbed and dismissed ; whilst his tormentor boasts that she has made enough out of his amatory efforts to keep her m gloves for three seasons. — Figaro. A Russian gentleman, "who spent years in collecting the lead paper of champagne bottles, in order to make a coffin for himself out of these relics of bis favourite beverage, went lately to New York and was drowned in a canoe party. By a strange irony of Providence he remains without a coffin, the body not having been found. The monument of his folly is to be seen in the shape of a leaden coffiu, bearing the mark Cliguot et Cie, all over it. In an article on the payment of members, in speaking of the Upper House the Daily Times says •— "lt is, ive assert, absolutely preposterous, and in the financial circumstancee of the Coloiiy almost criminally extravagant, that £8000 o? £9000 should be paid away every session to gentlemen who have no real need of the money, and whose services would" be equally at the disposal of the country without the annual pension, in consideration of other advantages attached to the position." "Atticus," in the Melbourne Leader is pretty rough" on tbe Bketcber firtjUt, whose almost unrecognisable representation of tbe recent railway catastrophe in Wellington has afforded no little amusement to readers of the N. Z. Times. "The train," be saya, "is seen at least a mile and a half away on tbe hillside, but the fallen carriage has been blown within half a mile of the spectator, and having fallen a distance of about a mile the mangled bodies of ten or twelve passengers, with a mass of debri»> are seen plunging into an unfathomable gulf below. The statement of facts accompanying tbe picture shows that the total fall of tbe carriage was 100 feet, that the passengers rolled down tbis declivity, and that there were only three persons killed. Those who are alarmed at the awe-inspiring picture of the victims of the precipice and the miraculous transit of tbe carriage through the air, should read the facts in order to steady their nerves and understand the genius of the artist." To hit three animals with one cartridge looks, at first sight, like excellent shooting. It depends, however, to a very great extent what the animals are, and a feat performed by a somewhat cockneyfied sportsman, as related below, is, on the whole, more remarkable than commendable. At one discharge tbe gentleman slew a rabbit, a ferret, and very effectively peppered a keeper. A party were rabbiting, and tbe kteper was kneeling on the ground by a burrow. A rabbit ran out right past him, and with deadly aim the sportsman blazed away. Tho rabbit turned ov«r, tbe keeper bowled, and putting his hand into bis pocket produced the corpse of a ferret, which the moment before bad been consigned to what might bave been looked on as a place of safety. It is, doubtless, belter and cheaper to hit a keeper than an uncle from whom you have expectations, but it does not come legitimately under the head of sport. , Where farmers generally fail is in their heads ; and the following anecdote from an address lately delivered before an American Agricultural Society, has a significance which deserves reflection :— The speaker was once the guest of a certain Scotchman, Lord A., and as they passed a certain farm they found the farmer hard at work in the hay field, getting in his crop. His coat was off, and he was helping the men load, so hard at work that he did his notice his landlord. When they drove away from tbe field, Lord A. remarked with a sigh, " Poor Brown, he's going to the dogs as fast as he can. He's got his coat off." Our American w«as very much amused at tbis, and asked, "Why, what has that to do with the matter ? You don't blame a man for working hard, do you?" " Well," returned his host, "I have been a landlord now for nearly forty years, with all sorts of farmers for tenants, and I have found out this— lt* a bad sipn when a farmer has to take off his coat. It shows that he's on the wrong track. If he can find nothing better to do on his farm than to earn the wages of a day labourer, he has mistaken his vocation." Canada has recently suffered from one of the largest forest fires on record. It was at Upton, in the province of Quebec In these parts bush fires bave been very prevalent. Great quantities of valuable timber bave been destroyed, but as conflagration is deemed an easy and expeditious plan of clearance, little notice was taken of the damage done. But after a severe drought Mich a fire broke out in tbe vicinity of Upton that the whole place was consumed. The scene is deHcribed as appalling. Fire had been hovering about the outskirts for some days, but suddenly a broad wall of flame wns seen approachiog the doomed town with rapid strides. The wind was high, and increasing by degrees to a perfect hurricane, and bo fanned the flames that the progress of the destructive element became faster and. f«st r r, and tbe conflagration more fierce. Farm-bouse after farm-house was attacked, enveloped, consumed. Their inmates— men, women, and children— fled for their lives in scanty clothing just as they snatched it up. The cattle ran helplessly to and fro, jumping fences, impeding each other's movements, overtaken often by the flames, and succumbiug to a terrible death with the most piteous moans. At nightfall the scene was awful. The fire extended a length of twelve milea, it wa» from three to four miles broad, and the fierce bright flames lit up the dark heavens for a distance of twenty miles. Every effort was made to stay tbe advance of destruction, but with little avail. Men worked furiously, battling bravely with the all-devouring flames, tearing up corduroy roads, breaking: down fences, seeking to isolate points by heaping up earth and dirt. It is impossible as yet to estimate tbe whole mischief done, or ascertain exactly the number of lives lost.