A HORSE AUCTION.

Nelson Evening Mail, Volume xv, Issue 229, 27 September 1880, Page 4

A HORSE AUCTION.

i "Here, gentlemen," said the auCr tioncer, "is a horse—" Bystander— " Glad, you told us it was a horse,! of , we might have, taken "it for a sheep.y Auctioneer— "That wouldn't be ; so, very strange if it had your head onV ..You see before you, gentlemen, a family tibrse." Bystander — " He got bunches on his knees from kneeling down -at family, prayer, didn't be ?' Auctioneer: — " You'll never have any bunches on your knees on that account. A horsej gentlemen, that any family might well be proud of. Look' what an eye he has." Bystandej— " What's become of the other eye ?" Auctioneer — " Gone to look after another such fool as you are. T4ke Old Dog Tray, so touchingly described by the Sweet Singer of Michigan (singing), ' He's gentle and he's kind'—' Bystander— " Blow the kind.'* Auctioneer — "You'll never;, never find " Bystander — " He would be fined by any Court in Christendom for spring-haltercations and interfering generally." Auctioneer— - • "A better horse than this old grey. Old grey horse is ever faithful &c. But we cannot waste our time on poetry, although the noble animal before you is the very poetry of motion. r How much for?' him ? What do I _ hear'?"/ Bystander- — "Nothing, if- you can't hear more than he does." Auctioneer — " Among horses, gentlemen, this is the very ne plus ultra.'- ■ Bystander — " Knock -knee-plus-ultra, you mean." Auctioneer — "And the sine qua* non • r"> Bystander — "Compos mentis." Auctioneer — "The /ridges //you .see : running down bis "eyes, gentlemen, are not an indication of the want of flesh j they are simply a wise provision of Providence for carrying » off /the, rain water." Bystander—" What's the matter with his tail ?" . Auctioneer — '-?. He was 1 formerly owned by : a 1 violin manufacturer;- and he pulled out all the hair for fiddle bows. What do I bear ?" But we had; Jlieard enough to: satisfy us that our friend was right, arid 'that it was absurd to squander mqney.on shc(ws so long as these horse auctions are kept up to their present highr standai-d.y-^ Cincinnati Saturday Niglfc \i., \.. •■ ; ,L j