VARIETIES.

Nelson Evening Mail, Volume XV, Issue 43, 19 February 1880, Page 5

VARIETIES.

A. sentimental young lady fiaysj — ■ " v Ob/the .oonneta of my giWhob'd, ihei .^in r d I wofe at 8 ( o^op|-pt.rea(ff thought them pretty! I rauat hjive beep ft fqol , and yet I used to . think myself a| jaunty misa, perhaps I was, as fashion: "went; but what wob that to this? Oh, the lovely little pan cake, the cbarrpiof : little mat— it makes my head so flat!: Ob, a sister'a love is ebarmiog, as everybody" koowsl ' And a handsome couaioV love is nice (that is I should Bup'p'oae"). And the love of a true lover is the love that cannot pall ; but the love of a new bonnet is the dearest love of all-— in fact; 1 thiok it* better than going to a ball ! : '— Hatters' Gazette. i A lady who bad qmrralled with her. bald-headed lover "said in dismissing! him, v What is delightful about you my friend, ie that I have not the; trouble pt sending you back any looks pfbair."" 1 "•"' '" <■'•'•■" ' | The tomato is masquerading about; the markets just now under morej ,ai\aeea thsm anyone can shake a stick at/"Th ey are "tbmatpep,'*',' tomatsrs,"' "tomaytoes," tommatuses," tomattoes," " toroaatoja," and the other day m] woman was beard inquiriug, *' How d'/,? sell yw tqrnadqea?" Seene — interior of Glasgow Cathedral nave. Time— Sabbath, close of forenoon service. English tourist, to man in attendance — " My good man, why can't we see the crypt to-day ?*' Man in attendance, horror-struck — "Sure, sir, isn't all the other places of amusement in the town shut on Sundays ? " Collapse of tourist. ! " Look here, waiter," shouted a die- ; gusfced. customer in an hotel, " here is a moustache comb in this hot pie."; , £ * Never mind," said the napkiaflirfeer, i calmly ; "juafc throw it under the table; i it's only an old one." i Judging frpm" the way women cut I .tlieir'hair, even in these advanced times, j Samson musfe have been a frightful sight, when Deliah got through shear- ' iag him. It's no wonjder he got weak : and, felt all broke up. j . A house in Bellaire,|,Obio, has thisj legend on the gate-post: — "Nineteen ,agenta have called here this morning ;i always eho^t; the twentieth." ' No ' agent has touched the bell-knob since , tbe placard was posted. A rnjembei' of a London ladies' club .was revested to resign " for kissing her brother in the dining room." If shei had kissed him in the mouth instead of the 'dining-room we presume there ; would'hfe have been. any fuss made about : it.'' ' " ." ! " "* '. •; ' .'■" r

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