SEVEN STAGES OF DRUNKENNESS.

Nelson Evening Mail, Volume XIV, Issue 198, 20 August 1879, Page 2

SEVEN STAGES OF DRUNKENNESS.

Here is the latest parody on " The Seven Stages of Man ": — All the world's a pub, And all the men and women merely drinkers: They have their hiccups and their staggering-", And one man in a day drinks many glasses, His acts being seven stages. At first tiie gentleman, Steady and steadfast in his good resolves; Aud then the wine and bitters appetiser, And pining, yearning look, leaving like a snail The comfortable bar. And then the arguments, Trying like Hercules with a wrathful frontage To refuse one more two-penn'orth. Then the mystified, Full of strange thoughts, unheeding good advice, Careless of honor, sodden, thick, and gutt'ral, Seeking the troubled repetition Even in the bottle's mouth; and then quite jovial, In fair good humor while the world swims round, vVith eyes quite misty, while his friends him cut, Full of nice oaths and awful bickerings: And so he plays his part. The sixth age shifts Into the stupid, slipping drunken man With "blossoms" on his nose and blearyeyed, His shrunken face unshaved, from side to side He rolls along; and his unmanly voice Huskier than ever, fails and flies And leaves him— staggering round. Last scene of all, That ends this true and painful history, Is stupid childishness, aud then oblivion— Sans watch, sans chain, sam coin, sans everything.