THE WEEK.

Nelson Evening Mail, Volume XIV, Issue 129, 31 May 1879, Page 2

THE WEEK.

I think that the compilers of the Church Catechism must have been endowed with the gift of prophecy, and have had before their mind's eye the New Zealand District Courts Act of the future when they decided upon the first question to be put to the catechised and the answer thereto This ingeniously contrived Act so provides that through the year the jury list shall be taken alphabetically, and that at the commencement of each new year the jurors shall again be summoned from among those whose misfortune it is to answer to names, the initial letter of which is A. A dozen or so are summoned whenever required, and as that does not happen more than about three times a year at the most, it follows that the end of the A's baa not been reached when the time has arrived to begin them over again Therefore, I say that, viewed in connection with this Act, the advice given by the framers of the Catechism was wise in the extreme. When the officer whose duty it is to make up the jury list comes round and asks you your name, you have only to reply in the words of the answer I have alluded to "N. or M. as the case may be," and you will never be summoned to serve on a District Court jury if you live to be as old aa Methuselah. Farmer Fallow, who lives up Waimeaway has been attentively perusing all the telegrams as they arrive daily from the unsettled districts in the North Island, and they have produced a different effect upon him to that which; they have had upon others The other night he startled his wife— upon whom by the way, the story of ;the big knives with which the Maoris are said to have been armed had created a far greater impression than any other part of the telegrams -by informing her that he meant to sell off at once and clear out for Taranaki. Fearing that his reason had deserted him she questioned him quietly but searchingly, and from hie replies learned that he had been so "fetched by the accounts given of the natives insisting upon trespassing on the white men's grounds apparently for the sole purpose of ploughing them up, that he had come to the conclusion that as he was getting old and past work, and could not afford to hire labor the best thing ne could do would be to settle down in a place where he could get his ploughing done for nothing. The terrified wife resorted to reasoning with him, but without effect, tried scolding, but that was of no use; then fell back upon woman's natural weapon, offensive and defensive, tears, but even these he urged "here have I been farming for two and thirty years come next January, and never once has any of my neighbors come on to my ground wifch bis ploughs and teamaand

said that he would plough up my fields whether I would or no, though of course I wouldn't have tried to stop him if he said he must, and if he done it properly. No, Taranaki's the place for me, so you can tell 'em all that we're off." I haven't yet seen his farm and stock advertised for sale, so perhaps when he saw that the settlers up in those parts were begging to be supplied with anna to keep these amateur ploughmen off, he nte ga!l t0 * hink better o£ ifc - There seem to be some points of similarity between a Coroner'a and, a District, Couri Jury, both of them apparently being inspired with an insane desire to " view the body," it being upon this ground, I presume, that the jurors in the late, case of Lambert versus the Corporation suggested that they should go and inspect the premises that had siistaifled the damage. I was permitted the privilege of accompanying them on their tour of inspection, and was much edified by the remarks made upon levels, water tables, draios, embankments, breastworks, &c.,— indeed it was almost as nice as being in Court and listening to all the details of this exceedingly dreary cafee. Having saturated themselves with information until they were in almost as plethoric a state as wa3 the clay behind the breastwork immediately prior to the great burst up, they started back for town; and on the way tip I noticed another point of resemblance between the two classes of juries: That of ;the Coroner's Court nine times out of ten adjourns from " viewing the body " to the nearest " pub." So did the D. C. jurors, accompanied by counsel, representatives of the opposing parties, and reporters, the latter, of course, only accompanying them under pressure. While there, an animated and truly scientific discussion was started upon the question of the direction that water was likely to take under certain circumstances. Some took one side, some the other, and it was not until it had been practically and incontrovertibly demonstrated by a series of experiments of a highly interesting and not altogether distasteful character, that the whole of them could be convinced that fluids— water was not the only one that came under discussion— had ah irresistible tendency to flow downwards. In connection with this case I may say that I have been told that the plaintiff, upon reviewing the whole question, takes a most philosophical view of the result. He was heard to congratulate himself upon having been a winner iv the suit, a statement thatcaused some little surprise to those who heard it, they having seen by the papers that the verdict was for the defendants. Upon being pressed to explain the source from which he derived his consolation, he replied, " Why, ain't t a ratepayer, and wasn't the action brought against the ratepayers, and wouldn't the ratepayers have had to stump up if the plaintiff had got a verdict ? Now, don't you see how I was a winner ? " Sensible man that ! Made of the same stuff as those dogged British troops on the field of Waterloo, who, as Napoleon said, were beaten over and over again during the day, only they didn't know it." F