THE WEEK.

Nelson Evening Mail, Volume XIV, Issue 123, 24 May 1879, Page 2

THE WEEK.

Not all the week, but ever since Thursday morning, when I was present at the Court, has my heart been bleeding for that unhappy, ill paid, unable-to-take care-of-themselves class of men — the lawyers. It was newts to me, and I daresay it was equally so to all the readers of the Mail, to learn that the barristers and solicitors of this colony are either so ignorant of that part of their business which specially affects themselves, or have been trained to so utter a disregard of their own interests as to be unable to make out a bill of costs that shall do them justice. This just shows how erroneous may be the popular idea on any given subject, for I don't think that the generally entertained opinion on this matter is in any way in accord with the views that were expressed in Court tbe other day, semi-jokingly certainly, but nevertheless with just enough appearance of earnestness to convey the impression that those who uttered them felt that there was some little substratum of truth in what they were saying. lam always glad to hear of any of our colonists having been so successful in business or in trade as to enable them to take a pleasure excursion to the old country, but I trust that none of the members o£ the bar will ever undertake the journey for the purpose of taking lessons in the art of bleeding their clients. Ido assure them that such a trip is absolutely unnecessary, and that to undertake it with such a view would be equivalent to declaring that they very much under-rated their own abilities in that direction. Many years ago—" in the good old days/' in fact, an expression which is sufficiently indefinite of the distance of the time to which I refer— an unfortunate man was picked up dead in a watercourse in the neighborhood of Motueka. A coroner sat upon the body, and a jury solemnly viewed it, listened to the evidence, and then gravely returned the verdict, "Found drowned; cause of death unknown." At the present day coroner's juries appear to be equally bright, so at least I judge by a telegram from Westport which was published the other day, in which we were told that after enquiring into the circumstances attending the death of an unfortunate woman who was picked up on the beach, it was duly recorded in almost similar words to those used by the Motueka jury alluded to that she "died from snffocaiion; cause of death unknown." Who can question the necessity for, or importance of, these coroner's inquests when they lead to such results? A hint to compilers of almanacs has just occurred to me, which I present to those gentlemen with my compliments. When foraging up events of sufficient importance to be chronicled in the journal of 1879 wht»t do you say to this? "May 22 -Elevation of first publican to the Bench." This is a much more noteworthy fact than many of those which ordinarily find their way into the monthly page. A story has reached my ears which is too good to be lost, though in publishing it I am not prepared to vouch for its authenticity. Old John Skinflint was much perturbed in hi3 mind when be heard tbafc there was a movement on foot to keep Monday as a holiday, although the public holiday was by the Act fixed for Saturday, for he argued to himsejf, "there's that boy of mine who's always

a good deal more teady to knock off thaft to set to work, wiil be sure to be wanting me to jet him have both days to himself.'' The idea of losing the youngster's services for two whole days cost John a sleepless night, but heit morning alt brilliant idea suddenly struck him, and he at once saw bis way out of the difficulty. Calling the lad, who had already directed his attention more than once to what bad appeared in the papers on the matter, he pompously said, while his countennuce beamed as though he had just bathed it in the milk of human kindness—" Tommy, my boy, I see that some people want a holiday on Saturday and some on Monday. $ow whenever I find myself in such a position that on either side I see difficulties, I always try to preserve a middle course; and that appears to me to be the best thing to do now. So, Tommy, take your holiday on Sunday, and I hope that you will thoroughly enjoy it. Bless you, my boy, now go about your work again.'* Tommy was for the time bewildered, but oh coming to hittiself he indulged in a long low whistle, uttered with considerable force the three words " Well, I'm blowed," and immediately set vigorously to work to see how little he could do in the day. A nuisance that it would be worth ahybody's while to go and look at and smell exists at the back of the houses on the north side of Bridge-street, and this formed the savory topic of a spicy discussion in the Council last night. Said one of the member, "I am satisfied to die from the stink rather than vote for the motion to abate the nuisance." Seeing that this Councillor does not live anywhere near the pit, and is not at all likely to meet with his death from the aroma that arises from it, while it is exceedingly probable that others may, his expressed determination to run the fearful risk alluded to reminded me rather forcibly of the courageous Yankee's proud boast that he was willing to shed the last drop of his brother's blood in the service of his country. __ E\