THE WEEK.

Nelson Evening Mail, Volume XIII, Issue 278, 30 November 1878, Page 2

THE WE E K.

We were doneout of. the Httke^ttlment < we anticipated over the election for thb Mayoralty in the most cruel mannernbut thank goodness we are likely to'Tiave' some little fun in connection with ahoth&r contest namely, that for the representation! bf the City. There will be a charming uqvel'tyj sd far at least as Nelson is concerned/In hearing a couple of lawyers get up and harangue a jury of some six or seven hundred 'nepbie upon whose verdict their success or defeat is to depend. And they ' won't be pleading the cause of another— that 1 wb 'can hear al-j most any day in the week— but each wiil be] his own c}ient; and to-beae themyeach sneak-' ingloudly-jtfhis>wn 1 praise' will U (Some-! thing really delightful. - "Gentlemen of the 1 Jury; Tjym m j G^ nt tha6 , a myse i^ ? y

tn w^o has, ever appealed to your tribunal,!' iclijj firmly! believe to be the most en- : lightened, the fairest, and the most conscieh.adusjiiji the whole universe, has possessed a l^a^jb claim upon your consideration aud yd'u|3aupport. Kindly permit your memories to carry you back over the last few years, and see what services my client (that's myself) has rendered to you, the self sacrifice he has displayed, the earnest devotion to your interests to the injury of his own," &c., 1 &c r But I won't proceed any further with; the) speech I was about to compose, for it would, not be fair to anticipate what the combatants will probably say in this direction, and besides I believe that A. A. *&6d A. P. ate both of them equally well able to say what they have to say without any (gratuitous bints from me. When the battle is to commence there is no saying yet, but I hear that skirmishers are already flying routid, and when the fight does begin to rage in earnest I believe it will be one of the keenest and I hope oue of the most goodhumored that the people of Nelson have yet been invited to take part in. At the present moment I think tho general feeling is pretty well illustrated by a conversation I chanced to hear iv the street the other day . between two of our Nelson politicians, by whom no day in the year is more thoroughly enjoyed than that on which the Returning Officer Isyinsy in the polling booth. " Well Bill," said one to the otfaef (the ifehries have been altered by me, and are not those for which the individuals referred to are indebted to their godfathers and godmothers) " Weli ■ ' Bill, howrare you going to vote in this 'ere election?^ Slowed if I can make up my. mind haw go. There's Pitt's, s jolly, good fellow, and I believe as how we can trust him - prbperly,-and then there's Adams, and there' 3. • tfb: mistake as he do slick up for us' Nelson fblksSwhen he gets a show, Slowed if I knbw'wbat.to do/ "Well Tom/ replied • Bill, J" I'm' just about in the same fix. When Luome to think' abotit it I almost wish as how 'they'd carried tbe Electoral Bill over iiO Parliament there, and that I'd been one' of:., theui Maories'as Sir George and Sheehan. ? sso . foud.of, because then I'd have had two vptesas - near' as I can make out from the newspapers, and I'd Bave gone to Adams and said, ' Here, you are old maty jrou take that one/ aud then I'd have walked across to Pitt and told him as how he could have the other, but if they liked to, toss up which took the two they might." I don't know' whether Bill and Tom are representative men, hat I «IP inclined to think they are. If so, the elecJSfW?.yi have a difficulty in making their choice, and I would venture to offier them thfetfedvice tendered by the Crier of the Court in " Trial by Jury," to those who were togiv!e their verdict in the important case therein ! represented :— " From bias free of every kind This trial must he tried." . r W,hen editors of newspapers fall out and jfosijtPvfr .temper's^ they occasionally indulge : iv language that may fairly fee characterised as a ljttle strong. For instance, on the east; coast, of the North Island two of these ami- ! able creatures had a trifling disagreement the other day when one who, I presume, was a, little angry at the time, referred to the other Jib^the following choice and delicate terms - .— strange, but no less true, that* there are some men who are so in the habit of telling untruths, and making false statements that in course of time tbey actually believe they are stating tacts. The -same, remarks we regret to say, apply to W&su journalists, ahd one of that ilk rerJtides jn our midst. Our local morning contemporary, in his issue of to-day's date, has beaten all his previous efforts ia n pu&J.rshipg deliberate untruths, and vile Mumnies.". Newspaper life up. that way l I ' s^quld think is not entirely devoid of excitement. ' The means necessary to he adopted in order . to. make certain of having a dish of ripe 1, cherries fit for exhibition at the late Horticultural Show, as related to me by a friend 'who takes considerable interest; in such matters, struck me as being !$f lit tie unusna^and worthy of being gi ren publjcity to. Having told me of big anxiety to , ; 'be •in appsifiqn to compete, aud that he had taken vSTW possible precaution against disappoint..uient, J aiked him bf what these precautions! consisted, whether they included manuring the tree, placing glass at the back of the fruit, picking off the berries so that only a few remained into which all the nutriment derived by the tree from the ground would be forced, or anything of that sort? " Nothing so elaborate as* tbat," was the reply. " Much more simple than anything you have suggested. My precautions are of the simplest possible character. They are confined to borrowing my neighbor's house dog and fastening ifc to my tree. Nature will give me the cherries right enough if she is only allowed to have her own way. It's the boys I'm afraid of." : Good, old Dr. Wallis, M.H.R., has been gushirig4o the members of his flock in Auck-,|apd-in the most charming manner. After his long absence in Wellington they were eage^to^offerhima hearty welcome on his return, and so he was invited to meet them at, a soiree at which there was the usual quantity and quality of speechifying. Apparently, the shepherd waa as glad to get .back to his home as were the flock ' to' "receive him, and thus is he. reported to< thave apoken out of the fulness of his heart:— "When he came in through the Manukau and across the isthmus, aod'he came in sight of Auckland, with its - beauties and its protecting islands, he felt great" pleasure, but he was still more pleased that night to receive this cheerful, happywelcome. He felt so happy that he could almost shake = hands with any man, and he was quite certain that there was no woman but' he could greet with the kiss of charity." Now I, am quite willing tp give him full V|fdit,-fqr the self sacrifice he was prepared lo make id shaking hands with any man, if bnt as for his proposed treatment ■ t o^, the women— l know lots of fellows who would be' just as willing as the reverend doctor to exercise their "charity" in that direction. j»_

There have beeu many changes on the West Coast of the Middle Island during the dast fifteen years, but ifc is to be hoped that the danger pointed oufc by the Westport Times may not come in our own day. At any rate, a timely warning is conveyed in the following:— "The Hokitika Star has been informed that some chickens have been ; hatched lately at the Kanieri with webbed feet. We are not at all surprised to hear it, if there be any truth in the Darwinian theory, that all the earth had been under ywafc'er;<andasthe earth got drier, the fiii3 and the: flappers formed themselves into hands and feet. So many it be likely thafc we are going back to the old state here on the West Coast, and it is just commencing wjtb the chickens, and so on until humau "hands and feet are formed, as of old,- into fins and flappers, as without them and with the incessant rain falling this year, people will soon be unable to exist." The bad times and the weather must have told sadly on bur. West Coast friends. A " crack " shot in the United States has accomplished an unparalleled feat. The isProfessor Charles E. Dwight.of /Wheeling, who, when shooting at a target at a distance of BQO yards, on August 14, made •39.cpn$ecufcive bull's-eyes... Thia feat places him at the head of long-range shots, and entitles him to a position in the representative team of the United States. I , _ Ab f electric light new to London is being Med. in the Strand. Its cost is half, that of gas,

\ Spurgeou is;said to havej thorodghly fit"^ critically read. 1437 Bible coinmeutaries audV ; expositions, each in several .volumes. "X'-j 'ThroughoutFrancegardeningis practically'! taught in the ; primary and elementary! ■ schools. There are at present 28,000 of these ' schools, each of which has a garden attached to it.