THE WEEK.

Nelson Evening Mail, Volume XIII, Issue 206, 28 September 1878, Page 2

THE WEEK.

It the representatives of the press were allowed to be present at the meetings of the Cabinet it would spoil half the fun that must take place there, as Ministers would exercise a certain amount of caution in giving utterance to their thoughts, bufc I should have dearly liked to he uuder the table or concealed behind a curtain when the members of the Government met last Saturday to take into their serious consideration the extent to which they could venture upon attempting to humbug the people of Nelson and Marlborough in respect to the railway question. We have the result before us, and, judging from that, it is perfectly fair to conclude that the leading idea in each of their minds was not how they could benefit those who were craving for justice, but how they might mostp'ausibly rid themselves of their importunities. There would probably be present Sir George Grey, that Prince of Piomisers-, Mr Macandrew who is earnestly determined upon pushing Otago ahead, utterly regardless of the extent to which the interests of other portions of the colouy may be affected so long as his object is gained; Mr Sheehau who has his Maoris to look after, and cares not a single rap about the English colonists so that his proteges are no longer left in "sulky isolation-," Mr Stout, whose honesty of purpose must render him a highly objectionable colleague to those with whom he is associated; and Mr Fisher, who has never yet recovered from hi* astonishment at finding himself on the Government benches, where he is as much afc home as would one of those dummies be that we shall see carried about the streets on the next sth of November. " Mac " opens the ball and complains of the manner in which he is worried by those intruders in the House who don't come from Otago, and consequently are quite unable to sympathise with him in his geographical deas of the colon}-, He wants to get rid of ithem, but scarcely kuows how to shake them oif so he appeals to the Premier who replies " Promise them Mac, promise them anything they want, and, if they are not satisfied with that, say that you'll give them far more than they desire. Many are tlie difficulties from which I have escaped by pursuing this course." Mr Sheehan, who has been studying a telegram recently received from Rewi, and knows as little as he cares about what they are talking of, backs up the Premier and says:—" That's it Mac, take the old man's advice, you and I are both of us pretty cunning, hut for every trick we are up lo he knows two." Mr Fisher dreamily nods assent. Mr Stout, whose conscience is not yet completely scotched by frequent association with those with whom he is daily brought in contact, agrees to a promise being made provided ifc is not so preposterous as to appear wholly irredeemable. Then the canny Scot begins to cudgel his brains with a view to propounding something that shall not shock Mr Stout by its audacity, or lower him in the Premier's opinion by its tameness. After a few minutes silence he asks: —"lsn't the Otago island bounded on the north by Cook's Straits?" They all repy iu the affirmative. " Well," he says. " suppose we say that we intend to carry the line from Amberley to somewhere in Cook's Straits, aud that we'll have surveys carried out in order to ascertain the best route. Do you think that'll keep those fellows quiet while I am getting out the plans and specifications for the Strath-Taieri railway?" All express approval, and the Minister for Public Works sits down to write his letter to the deputation. Having finished it he reads it over before sealing the envelope, and then for the first time", there flashes across his mind a consciousness of the extent to which consummate impudence may be carried, and he asks himself —"Are they such fools as I am trying to make myself believe?" Now that's just what I waut to know too. Are they? There are two men in New Zealand whom I believe to be thoroughly in earnest, each on the particular topic in which ho takes a special interest. Wind up Dr. Hodgkiuson and set him off on the Deceased Wife's Sister Marriage Bill; perform a similar operation on Mr Pitt and then shake a copy of the City Council by-laws in his face, aud then-—well, suppose what the voluble Frank Weston calls the "digging down and talking a bit" commences, say at 11 a.m„ and you have to sit it out, and yonr luncheon hour is one, you had better take the first opportunity of sending a message to your wife to keep the chops back an hour. After four attempts, there seems some probability of Dr Hodgkinson's deceased wife's sister militant becoming the widowed husband's sister in law triumphant. Mr Pitt has had two tries at gaining the end he has in view and perhaps after two more he and the doctor will able to congratulate each other on beiug the successful champions of the cause each had taken in hand. As a pretty regular frequenter of the Court, I may add that I shall not be very sorry when the question is settled. The following was poked under the door of one of the newspaper offices the other night, but owing, first to the fact that it was unaccompanied hy the coin which is the open sesame to the advertising columns, aud secondly to a suspicion of ungenuineness about the signature, it has not yet been published as au advertisement: —