TWO SEA PIECES.

Nelson Evening Mail, Volume XIII, Issue 195, 16 September 1878, Page 4

TWO SEA PIECES.

(BY AN AMERICAN ARTIST.) The following little sketches from an American paper appear to us to possess considerable merit. They are breezy of the sea. Readin*g them you SBem to ecenfc the brioy ocean, to hear the cheery howls of the sailors pulling dirty rope 3 ; to whiff the glorious oil from the dirty engine room ; to feel the noble vessel bounding over the heaving billows. In the fullness of your heart as you imagine the headlong plunge of the great ship, and i!s quivering heaves, you feel inclined to remark ya-ro-o-p yo-o-up ! You do, really, GETTING INTO HIS SEA TROUSERS. Our sea purgatory comes onth c first, possibly the second morning, in the steamer state-roome. We have the evening previous glided out of New York harbor. It has been a fair, calm day, and at eve forty miles off Sandy Hook, the deck is crowded with passengers, enjoying all the cheerful effect of a hearty dinner. The Periere bag made but a few gentle uudulating motions. Is this the tossing about by the waves they talk so much about ? Why, ihig is nothing ! Sea-sickness is laughed to scorn. Augustus and Geraldine, a welde! pair, retire to their sea couches, -ieoply impressed with the grandeur and bt-auty of the ocean by mooulight. Nest morning he wakes. He aits up in his narrow bunk. There seems much more rotariness about things now than yesterday. There are deep heave 3 and sinkings and creaks end groans. Augustus feels in the lea3t degree quaLuiah. But it is nothing — nothing— only the result, possibly, of yesterday's indiecretion with friends at parting. He sleeps in the bunk above , she below. He will get up. He will arise and co forth from his high bunk. But how ? It is five feet from the floor. A pair of male legs may now for some seconds be seen gyrating in the air at varions angles. The aim and intent of the big toe at the descending end of the right limb is to seize with prehensile grasp the outer board of the lower bunk. But it does not. Ho tries it with both big toea. It ia in vain. He finds for them no resting place. He withdraws himself onoe more into his high buok. He looks over ils edge and reflects. Meantime the ship rolfs. He endeavors to descend by utilising his back. In vain. He endeavors to descend frontwards. Ha does so with Borne groans and bruises. The ebip rolls pefaeveringly, varied with.au occasional pitch, which internally affects him seriously and puts on his features an expression of great gravity. Indeed this must be sea-sickness. It is. He Buccurobs. Wash-bowl. But he will not be conquered. No. He will dress and go forth. Wash-bowl again. He gazes on his panfalooos. They are swinging from a book, slowly, ateadily, monotonously, at every roll. Everything is swinging. His head swinge. Another great roll. He sits down— suddenly. He now seizes his trousers and essays to stand upright. He holds them in the usual position for inserting the legs. He holds them but for a second. Why does be rush so madly over bis pantaloons into the bunk of Geraldlne ? The < sea hath indeed no regard for human dignity or perpendicularity. Just so have great generals, philosophers, and statesmen rushed and tumbled' over their official trousers on their first few mornings afloat. For the sea is a great leveller. He will try again. He picks up his pantaloons with one hand, and holds on with the other. He sits down. Washbowl. He looks seriously at his trousers. He gets up. Ho takes several quick and uncertain steps over the floor. He sits down suddenly — on the ficor. It is a dilemma. He has not as yet one lee in it. One hand is busy balding on. He now wonders how one-armed men put on their pantaloons — especially tt sea. Still the great ship rolls and swinge, and swings and rolls, with the regularity and almost the rapidity of a common clock pendulum. It is outrageous and exasperating that a ship should Bwing so. Still the empty trousers leg demands occupation. There is a second of level cabin floor. He frantically improves the opportunity. He jumps into bis trousers. He is indeed in them. He aits down and feebly buttons his suapeodere. Wash-bowl. HEE FIRST SEA TOILET. Two days have elapsed. Augustus' Gea-legs are partly on. But as yet she has not stirred from her berth. She baa lain, the limpy wreck of a woman, calling alternately for smelling salts and annihilation. Mere mention of food has made her furious. But with increasing strength, be feels convinced that the woman must somehow be gotten on deck. Geraldine — " Augustus, can't something be done to keep this dreadful chip still a moment ?" Augustus— " You must get on deck, my dear." Geraldine— "l can't. I B ball die; I want to die. Why did I leave home to travel for pleasure ?" Finally she resolves in a feeble sort of. way to dress. The close air of the State-room makes Augustus still a little sick. He has learned the benefit of keeping the deck. Still like a heroic and good husband, he determines to rescue bis wife from the despairing lethargy of sea-sickness. Geraldine — "Augustas my corsets." Augustus—" Where are', they ?" Gerftldiaer-'' Qh I dpn'fc knowj do

find them. Why does this ship roll so?" Augustus poke 6 and pries into dark holes and corners for the miseing corsets When lost she disrobed they were flung down recklessly, despairingly, anywhere. Corsets at last found. Augustus sits down and thinks gloomily of the the vast work to be done ere that woman is dressed. Corsets feebly buckled on— she tries, for the first time, to stand erect. Her feet touch the anteroom floor ; the ship at this moment celebrates the event with five or six tremenduou9 roll?. Tbe stateroom swings from side to side with au increasing vibration. Augustus attempts tenderly to support the frail and limpy Geraldhie ; they tetter and tumble. They find a aeat. Both regard seriously to bottoms of their respective wash - bowls. Sounds of human wretchedness ariae at intervals from adjoining state rooms. They liae again. Another roll. They totter, and catch promisouously at gowns and garments pending from slate - room hooks. They tear them down trying to stand up ; during which a cascade of combs, brushes, button-hookp, pins, tumblers and things, tumbles from the wash-stund to the floor. A gurgle is also heard ; after a little the sick Augustus discovers it to be tbe branJy bottle ; it bad gently turned over on its side, unloosed its cork, and shed its contents from his bunk to hers below. Augustus brought it on board for seasickness ; it seema itself was sea-ejck. Augustus— "Now, mv dear, just brace up and try to dress." Geraldine— "Oh, I can't!" Augustus — "How do you put thing on, apyway ?" Geraldine — " Over my head, so. Oh dear V Augustus — " Something wrong about it, dear. It won't button," Geraldine-- 1 ' Oh, dear. Just like a man; you've got it on hind sHe fore." Augustus (internally) * * * *— "There, is that right?" Geraldine—" Yes. No. Oh dear 1 You're buttoning it up wrong. Oh, where, where's my collar ? Oh, dear, you've sat down on it. Why aren't you more careful?" Augustus (aside)—*' This woman is 'nearly dead. Yet she insists still on the fripperies and vanities of fashion." Tbe entire process of getting her dressed would require a voiume.