APHORISMS FROM JOSH BILLINGS.

Nelson Evening Mail, Volume XIII, Issue 182, 31 August 1878, Page 4

APHORISMS FROM JOSH BILLINGS.

Pills will sometimes refuse to act on the liver, but sawing wood never will. Make yourself necessary, young man, and your success is certain. Auger always hurts us more tlmn ihe one we set mid at. When a man ain't good for nothing else, he's just right to sit on a jury. What a man gets for nothing ha is apt to value at ju&t abo?e what it cons. I don't bet on precocious chillreu; the huckleberry that ripens the soonest is always first to decay. Evfrybody seems to consider himself a kiud of moral hall-bushel to measure the world's frailties iu. He who has nothing to do io this world but to amuse himself has got the hardest job on hand I know of. I have always said, and I believe it still, that tho tioio to be carefullest is wheu you have a banlful of trumps. When you strike He, stop boring. Many a man has bored clean through, and let tha ile run out at the bottom. If you want to find out just how mean aud dishonest you've always been, get nominated and run for some office. Next in point of meanness to doing a man an injury is to do hira a favor and every now and then remind him of it. Woman ha* always been more than a match for a man. Adam held the best cards, but he did not know how to play them well. The man who ia honest from policy needs as much watching as a hive of bees juat getting ready to swarm. One of the most reliable prophets I know is an old hen, for s?ie doesn't prophesy any egg till the egg has happened. Biographies are delightsome reading ; we compare all the virtues of the person with our own, and all his failings with our neighbors. There are lots of men in tho world that are like a rooster ; take the cockade and spurs off from them, and you couldn't hardly le!l them from a hen.