THE TELE-GASTROGRAPH.

Nelson Evening Mail, Volume XIII, Issue 184, 1 August 1878, Page 4

THE TELE-GASTROGRAPH.

There Bee-fins ta fcfe absolutely no limit do tie servitcPs which man will be able •to exact from electricity. And of all ttfeft usrs to which it has been put, we question if ihers is one whose practical value will be co grent to humanity ns that which was brought to a successful issue last eight in & seHes of ibtfcrestin? exppriments before some o f tne leading men of our city. The telp-gaetroeraph is 'a machine" by whxcb, through the aid or' electric cur', rente, ihe flavor of Boy food or liquor can be transmitted by wire to any distance, ant! tbe sansqiion of eating or <3rinkinc ennvered by owly piscine Jjbe pod of the wire hetwen the teeth. The inventor never pretended that any actual nourishment was conveyed by his procpfls. He merely claimed that tbe eenealiou nf p^rinfeine of rich viands and costly «i ne s could be imparted to people n hundred mile* away from the ••"operator**- written on their pslates, in fact one] that the number who could receive this sensation from h i email quantity of food nnd the length of timn that it could be made to W, werrj practically unlimited* j It was nrrnngod that *t eight o'clock yesterday evening the experiments were to commence. The machine was worked at the Victoria Club, and a number of well-known gentlemen kindly gave their services to assist the operator^ Tbere were five points of observation fixed upon, vie., the Age office, Government House, the Minister of Education's office, at the top of Collinsatreef, and the Post-offices in Geelong and Castlemaine. At each of these* places a number of persona were aßsetnbled to watch the proceedings, and fnko part in them. Telephonic Communication wns established at every station, and at a. few minutes past 8 o'clock every gentleman waß Bt hss posff At the ureent reg-jest of the inventor &1I the observers h«d refrained from bavins? dionpr, but before operntiong commenced theypnrtook, according to direction, of brown bread md buffer, with two or three elasFesofcoid water. Precisely at a quarter past 8, nnd when it w«h saoertftined by preliminary trial that the wirpg wore in working order, a bnhle of the bpgt sherry flavored with half a wine E IHR Bfiil8 fiil of orarjge bitter?, was poured into the receiver of the machine, and the electro-magnetic battery was turned on by Messrs Ellery nnd M'Gowan. This was hardly fair to the inventor. He had directed lbnt no OJore should be placed in the receivfr For each sensation than nn ordinary dioner was in the h>bit, of fonsuminz at a meal ; hut Dr B!eas<lale, unused to the control of the tele-gapfograpb, contended that one winerrlnssful would be quite inadequate .to supply the wants of the numerous observprp, and he therefore pave sixteen times more than he Bhould hnve done. The evil effect of this mistake was speedily Apparent. The observers at the different stations having taken the wires between their tpetb, and the battery beinp turned full on, the alcoholic essence of the large quantify of sherry placed in the receiver was sent along the wires in ful! force to the five points of observation, and the thirty-six persona in gastrographic connection with the machine received the impression of having each consumed an entire bottle of sherry and bitters. Some of the observers stood this very well, nnd showed little sigDa of having received too heavy a sensation} but others, especially some gentlemen who are prominently connected with the cause of total abstinence, were very strongly affected, and in response to an argent appeal by telephone from the editor of this paper, the battery by which the wine was discharged was turned off. From first to last, five minutes had elapsed from the time when the sherry was put into the receiver till our raeasßge caused the supply to be discontinued. In tbnt brief space five-sixths of tba bottle was dissipated, and some of the observers were temporarily disabled from taking notes. Every sign of incipient intoxipation was produced. There wae the wine flash apparent on tbe cheek ; the voice, altered of course, through the Qecessity of holding the wire between the teeth, became thick and husky, and two gentlemen who were obeerviDg in the office looked and behaved more like persons who had dined than teetotallers usually do at that hour of the evening. Instantaneously, however, upon the electric current being stopped, the ill-effects ceased. The pleasurable sensation of having lately partuken of wine remained, but that, and an exhilaration of spirits that lasted throughout the experiment, waa the only result of Dr. Bleasdale'a ill-judged ze&l. Half a dozen exceedingly fine Sydney oyßters were next exposed to the action of the battery, each having squeezed upon it a few drops of lemon juice. The effect of this was very fine, and proves that tbe tele-gastrograph is peculiarly well qualified to transmit the flavors of the most delicate foods. Intentionally, menus had not been forwarded to the various posts of observation, as the inventor wished to have a perfectly unbiassed opinion from the gentleman who took part in the experiment. A scientific objector had endeavoured, in anticipation, to account for the sensations by declaring that they were produced by the action ot imagination. As hs put it, " the stomachs of the observers, it must be remembered, are to be first filled with bread and butter, potatoes, &c, washed down with a copious supply of cold water. They then have wires placed in their mouths, and ore told to prepare themselves ior 8 seniation of fish, soup, wine, or what

not. isow I consider that the mere fact of their consenting to take part in the experiment is prima facie evidence that they were prepared 10 believe that the seneatioa Would be inJpnrtecl: tint the fallacy of this argument tin which a great deal of ft^ress was laid, was shown through the whole course pif last nigbi'a proceedings. Several oHli'oio who felt the effects oifl"*? oi'ne tnoet would not h'-ve hs<» a sensation of the kind if they knew what was coming. And co with the oysters. The general impression among <ho observers was that soup would have been the next thing supplied, and it came as rather a suprise lylian the delicious sensation of slowly swallowing the freshest and plumpest oysters flume upon them. His Excellency sent a nieseage himself by telephone cougramlaiing the inventbr on the marked success (hat had* up to this time at. tended the experiments; and Professor Pearsou and Mr B.rry simultaneously informed him from Castlemaine and Gaelong, that they could almost smell the sea bo fresh were tbe oysters. A glass of etiablis closed this part of the performance, after which there was an interval of about five minute?, that was employed by the observers in comparing notes on what they bad felt. A light variati n was made in the manner iv whi>h tbe soup was transmitted to tbe different posts of observation. There were five soups prepared, and a different kind was sent to each place. Clear turtle was sent to the office of this paper, and it was of a nature to make every one regret when the supply ran out. Rather an amusiug accident happened with that supplied to Government Housp. When it was announced that everything was ready, his Excellency and his friends put tbe wires into their mouths, but no sooner was the soup (clear oxtail} turned on thaD, as ona marj, .'andgwith various exclamation**, they withdrew the wiree, and bo cut off the connection ItturneJout that the soup had been put into the receiver scalding hot, and the gentlemen each received the aensition of having burned his mouth. Nothing can prove more plainly than this that the theory of imagination is utterly at fault. It U worthy of noie, however, ihaf the unpleasant feeling of scaldiag disnppearod ns soon ns the wiro was withdrawn; while, on the contrary, the p'easuruble sensations imported by the tele-gaetrograph to the palate nud stomach were felt for several hours after. A glass of East India a tarry succeeded the soup, and a feeling of a convivial and social nature became appareutat all !he poafs. It was very singular to notice the slate of the food after it had been subject to ihe action of the magnetic battery for the required time. To ail appearance it was the same ns when put in. A slice of snapper or Gippeland perch, the liver and wing of a chicken, with a little Yoikshire^hain, a cut of veosion, or an oyster pate, was put into the receiver, and, having remained there for a certain lime, was taken out to make room for something else. In every case the food looked a 8 tempting after beiDg subjected to the action of the gastrogrophic battery as when first brought in from (he kitchen; but it was found to be utterly devoid of laste, and some analytic experiments prove it to be utterly valueless for human sustenance. The sparkling wines were those that obtained the largest share of approbation. Every glass of champagne poured inio the receiver was faithfully imprinted on the palates of observers at every one of the stations, and the only departure from carefully prepared menu was in response to argent appeals for " more champagne." A practical joke, which wasaltogeiher out of place in a scientific experiment of this nature, was played upon the Minister of Education. When the dinner was finished, Mr Smith directed the Secretary to forward the following telephonic dispatch to the inventor: •'Education office, Melbourne, 28th January, 1878.— S 78 || 58,741.— 5ir, — The hon. the Minister of Public Instruction directs me to place ou record his grateful appreciation of your invention, and the pleasure hs has received from the excellent dinner of which he has partaken. The hon. the Minister would be glad to enter into an arrangement with you by which the use of your machine could be secured by the department, so that all the children attending the State schools could be daily giveu a meal, to be cooked in this office and forwarded per wire between the hours of I and 2 pm. This he considers would help to put an end U truancy, and tie an incentive to children attending regularly. The hon. the Minister is also anxious to put an end to the brutal and degrading practice of Hogging the riaiog generation, aud to substitute some punishment of a scientific nature that would would be under his own irnmadiate control. Please state if the sensation of cayenne peppor, or hot West Indian pickles, can be transmitted by your machine. If Blloh iB tbe case, the Minister would then at certain times throughout the day administer such punishment himself as he may consider necessary. I have the honour to be, sir, your most obedient servant G. Wilson Brown, Secretary." Ad immediate answer was forwarded "Either cayenne pepper or pickles can be transmitted. Let Major Smith take the wire and try." Mr W. C. Smith took the wire. The inventor was busy at the time in making arrangements for the transmission of cigar sensations, and the conduct of the experiment was left to Messrs Gatehouse &ad Edwards, A slight

sprinkling of pepper and two 01 three picklea Was what they were told to put into thti rccfelcqrj but ati Unworthy disposition tB makß f'Utl out of the proceedings took possession of these gentlemen; and they emptied about an ounce of ca^eiihe pepper uhd a whole bottle tif the iiotteac pickles into the maehiue, and then hurriedly left the club. Mefl9rs Brown aud Gilehrist report that the Minister suffered very severely from this ill-timed joke, but he speedily recovered. Mr Smith subsequently said he would only administer this punishment in extreme oases. The severest castigatiou would be mild in comparison with it* In i his early stage of the invention it is aliiiost presumptuous to prognosticate what it will lead to. But when the machine is worked on business principles, the likelihood of mistakes oceuring will be reduced to a minimum, aud practical jokes will cease; The advantages of taking Jbod in this manner are very great. To say nothing of its cheapness, it is far cleaner and pleasanter than the old-fashioned plan. Noneoftheill effects that follow over-eaticg will be felt after a meal through the tele-gastropraph ; while wine taken through it cheers but not inebriates. A momentary feeling of intoxication certainly was experienced after the very large dose of sherry at the commencement of the dinner, but that disappeared when the wire was disconnected, and nothing but the feeling of having had enough remained. So likewise with cigars. I'he full flavour of the choice cigar consumed la the receiver was enjoyed by everyone of the fchirty-six observers, while there was neither expectoration, a disagreeable odor from the breath, nor ashes littering the room. As the in • ventor said, "You could kiss your 'sweetheart after smoking for half-an-hour and she would never know it." Somo of ths observers who are antismokers enjoyed the cigar thoroughly, and fety no ill effects from it. Dr. Fulton, who was present, was anxious to try how physic colud be sent along the lines, and suggested putting a blue pill and black draught into the receiver, but after communicating with all the stations it was found that no gentleman would consent to have the experiment tried upon him. The warmest congratulations poured in upon the inventor at the close of the proceedings, and Sir George Bowen stated his intention of recommending him to her Majesty for some mark of her favour.— •[ The foregoing ingenious piece of imaginative writing appears in the Melbourne Aye June 29].