THE WEEK

Nelson Evening Mail, Volume XIII, Issue 180, 27 July 1878, Page 2

THE WEEK

I have read the Governor's, or rather the Premier's, opening speech, not with much interest, for there is nothing in it to excite that, but with a good deal of curiosity, as I was expecting all the way through that the next paragraph was going to give me more information than the one I was then reading, but I was sadly disappointed. The conclusion I have arrived at, after thinking the matter carefully over, is that the human race is not likely to be benefitted to any great degree this session, and that there is but little chance of a reduction in the price of children's frocks, the Premier having, apparently, decided to postpone these two noble objects of his ami ition until next session. This is the first experience we have had of Sir George as a vice-regal- speech -writer, and I confess that in that capacity he has not created a very favorable impression on my mind. I like him oa the stump a good deal better. There, there is a boldness about his assertions, and a delightful tendency to romance which are wanting in this State paper, in compiling which the framer is to a certain extent tied down to facts. To one of Sir George's disposition, this is, of course a little awkward. There is oue thing lam looking forward to now, that is, to reading the comments on the speech that will appear in the Government papers. Won't they " blow " over it, especially that part which refers to Native matters ? And while pceans are sung in praise of the present Ministers, poor Sir Donald M'Lean, who smoothed the way for them, will lie forgotten in his grave. I occasionally ask myself the question whether the readers of newspapers do or do not take an interest in the news, as it is called by courtesy, that appearsin the column devoted to telegrams. I have taken stock of a few that were published in the Mail during the current week, and I should really like to know whether that sort of thing is demanded by the public or whether the purveyors of telegraphic news have misunderstood what is really wanted. Let me run over a few of the items. To begin with Monday: On that day there was a long message informing the Nelson public of all the little details of the receipts and expenditure of the Education Board of Auckland. Whom did, or could, that interest? I ask for information, and really should like to receive a reply. A little later we are told that some one had been lecturing in Auckland on California. I haven't heard of anyone going iuto ecstacies over this exciting piece of information, but then I don't pretend to know all that goes on. The next day the wires were called into requisition to inform the colonists in all parts ot New Zealand that the Government did not intend to supply Hokitika with a steam tug. Is there anyone outside of Hokitika who cares a rush whether the Government give them a tug or not? More and more in-

teresting grow itie telegrams. " Some of the footballers who were selected to play in the alafcch against Qtago can't go, and other's ;h'ave to fee substituted fot them," Think of this ye tiewsbapet reader's" Hi Auckland, Wellington, Nel§on; and! elsewHere! Isn't i( a Dressing; a privilege, to live in ah age wheii eMtriejty can He made to serve so useful a purpose as the fla9hingof news like this from the centre io the extremes of the colony ? Thursday came, and with it the glorious intelligence that one, of trie piles on abridge Soniewflere oh trie West qostst had b'eeu driven right home. Apathetic people that they are in Nelson, I don't believ4 there was a single pheer raised over this remarkably interesting .piece of ne,ws, 6uce more. Last night's paper delighted the hearts of, its readers by telling them that a Eesident Magistrate down South had drawn up a roster of the Magistrates who were to do duty iv the local Police Court for the next three months. I should really like to know whether there is any sub-editor in New Zealaud who would haveclipped this item from hi 3 Duuedin exchanges when they came to hand. And yet it is flashed all over the colony by wirei I sometimes think t should like to be in an editor's room when, as the publishing hour approaches, rubbish like this is poured in upon him from . the telegraph office. On the other hand 1 am not quite fhire that 1 should, for the malediction! He would shower on the heads (if those who think that such bosh is worthy of being wired must be fearful to listen to. , Being in Court the other day when a chronic rent case was being tried, I was much shocked to hear a remark made by one of the solicitors. He said that the " Justices of the Peace Act," was so framed as " to allow of Magistrates deciding a case in defiance of ! evidence, common sense, or anything eise." The condemnation' appeared to me to be sufficiently sweeping uud severe without the addition of the words "or anything else," but lie thought lit to make use of them, and, what was worse than all, he spoke in such a tone ! as to convey the impression to all who heard" ' him that he was quite of opinion that Magistrates generally fully availed themselves of the privileges gr.mted to them by the Act. Tom Foolscap determined the other day to give his country cousiu Mary Jane Barleycorn a treat, so he sent for her to come to town and accompany him on Tuesday night to see "Trial by Jury." Jt was amusing to witness her nervousness ns she struggled through the crowd into. the theatre. It was still more amusing to watch her face while the "trial " was proceeding, and, as the curtain dropped, there she sat with eyes and mouth wide open, lost in wonder and astonishment at the scenes that she had just witnessed, Tom enjoyed her amazement, and after gating at the fresh face and great blue eyes a little longer perhaps than was absolutely necessary, he said, "Well, Mary Jane, what do you think of that?''—" Oh, wasn't it splendid?" was her reply, " wasn't it beautiful, bin, I say. Tom, do tell me, is that how the judges and jurymen and lawyers always behave themselves when they are in Court?" Tom took another look at the pretty face, lighted up as it was with excitement, to see if the question was asked in real downright earnest, and finding that it actually was, he burst into a loud laugh and answered, "Why you great goose, you don't mean to say that you really don't know better than ' that. Couldn't you see that the whole thing was a burlesquing and making fun of the Court proceedings?" Then, as a sudden thought struck him, he reflected a moment and added, "But, by Jove! \'ou're not so far wrong after all. I never knew them go on like that in Nelson, but from what I see in the papers I fancy it must be something like the Wellington Court when Mr Barton i 3 wrangling with the Judge, and the jury join iv the row and laugh out loud aud say ' Hear, hear,' and all that sort of thing." Mary Jane's pride was hurt. She felt that she had displayed ignorance on a subject with which she thought she ought to have been better acquainted, and the tears welled up into her eyes as she remonstrated, "Well, Tom, you needn't have laughed at me like that when you know that I never get a chance of seeing these things — and Tom, why did you say I was a great goose when you yourself allow that I wasn't so far wrong after all?" Tom wa3 at first a little abashed and ashamed of himself, but he soon recevered his presence of mind " Never mind, old girl," said he, " I didn't mean to vex you, and it was all owing to my abominable habit of exaggerating that I called you a great goose. What I meant to say was, You little duck " The tears gave place at once to a beaming smile, and if the hearty laughter of the two over the farce that followed may he accepted as proof I should say that Tom's ready response had produced the desired effect.