A STORY OF THE TELEPHONE.

Nelson Evening Mail, Volume XIII, Issue 59, 9 March 1878, Page 4

A STORY OF THE TELEPHONE.

Love and Bacchus have played important roles [in the history of the wor^d-r-Tand the former deity , is supposed, in spite, of his blindness, to avail himself of every opportunity in furtherance of his designs.* As old as Adam are his tricks and- wiles ; but it is to the comparative infancy, of to-day that is reserved the honor of taking him by surprise, Scarcely had the latest novelty in modern science — the telephone—appeared upon the stage than it was Beiz?d upon by one of Cupid's votaries, who, enamoured of a buxom landlady, il fair, fa!, and forty," possessed, withal, of a goodly share of worldly wealth, had, with a view of keeping up constant communication, availed himself of its services. The gentleman, sitting in his private apartments a few doors off from his adored one, would, whilst indulging in the fragrant aroma of hi 3 havana, whisper words of sympathy intended for her ear into the little cup attached to the wire, which the wire forthwith transported, in modified dulcet notes, to the lady sitting in the little bar parlor of her hotel. Sweet were the Bounds which reached her ear, whilst a glass of brandy and water might be indulged in without perilling the uninterrupted flow of courtship. So far Love was triumphant, and all went "merry as a marriage bell ;" till one day " the boys " got hold of the instrument, and the would-be benedict congratulating himself upon the benign fitness of things, was startled from the complacent tenor of his mind by the unusual and jealous doubtb conveyed in the message. To telephone back was the work of an inatant. " Darling, how can you doubt ? "— «• You have basely betrayed me," came the response, in a Btrangely familiar voice." "Why!" what have I done ? " « You hav'nt paid for your liquor bill, and if you think you can come that game with me any longer, you are mistaken." " Gracious Heavens ! " exolaimed the gentleman, " this is too, too horrible J" Then into the mute ear of the pickled aalmoo tin which formed the drum of the instrument, he breathed a pitiable tale of hie sorrowing love — of his bright and once happy aspiration — of his undying devotion, and his determination to remain constant to the object of his adoration to the bitter end, whilst his constant prayer should be" He was interrupted by accents stern and wild "Dry up, you old fool, and go to byebye." Then eneued an awkward ailence. Horror-struck for some moments, the gentleman remained speechless ; but at last, recovering from hie surprise, he applied his indignant tongue to vent his ire. Softly the words came along the wire, softly murmured now, "My love." "Go to Jericho," replied the gentleman, retiring, as he upoke, to his brandy and water. The die was cast ; the mischief done. It was to his adored one he had voucheafed the answer. She who had but a moment before arrived at her usual trysting-place, withdrew offended, and thus the telephone, the latest offspring of science, has, in one instance, parted two fond and loving hearts.