THE WEEK.

Nelson Evening Mail, Volume XIII, Issue 59, 9 March 1878, Page 2

THE WEEK.

"Slap bang, here we are again!" The " we" does not refer in any way to the weekly correspondent of the Mail, bufc to the peripatetic Premier and his suite. For several days we have enjoyed a most delightful respite from those monotonous and uninteresting telegrams which have recorded the triumphal progress of Sir George Grey and his colleagues down the Wcsfc Coast of this island ,but now they have broken out again aud the eruption may be expected to last for another week or two afc least, during which time the party will be making their way to Nelson through Otago and Canterbury. We shail be bored to deafch with accounts of banquets, public meetings, and deputations, and many a smile will be raised by the perusal of the promising Premier's plentiful professions of deep interest in the various matters submitted to his consideration. Already has he promised the West Coast residents that grass shall grow on profusion in their forest lands, that they shall have a railway to the eastern coast of the island, that he will arrange to givs Kumara a supply of water for its reservoir, that— really it is useless to attempt to recapitulate all that he has undertaken to do on the West Coast. Let us therefore pick him up again down South, where by the latest acconnts he has received a deputation in reference to rabbit skius. This would have tried the temper of any other wandering magnate but Sir George Grey. He, however, has proved equal to the oocasion, and has faithfully promised that even the outer coverings of the bunnies that swarm in the south shall occupy the attention of the Ministry when his pleasure trip is at an end, and he is at liberty to attend to the business of the country. What a bulky volume must his note book be if he jots down in it all that he has undertaken. I like nothing so well as a really clever conjuring trick, so, of course, I have been to

see the performances of Professor Heunicke and his fair assistant. Like everybody else who witnessed it, I was delighted with the Arabian Box mystery, which was quite new to me. I was rather disappointed, then, when I heard my right hand neighbor remark rather contemptuously, 'Why, that's quite a stale trick. I saw it rather more effectually performed at Wellington last October." " Did you?" I asked, " I was not aware that it had ever been exhibited in the colony before." •« Oh, yes," he replied, «it was, with just a slight difference in the name. lustead of the < Arabian Box,' it was called the ' New Zealand Cabinet,' and some of your Nelson men were among the assistants." "Indeed," I said, "you really hare excited my curiosity, and I should like to hear more about it." " Well," said he, '• I will tell you as briefly as possible. The ' stage ' was the floor of the House of Representatives, and on it was placed a Cabinet, which Mr Curtis and Mr Sharp had taken care should be empty. The doors were open, and everybody could see that no one was in it. Then they wer« closed and locked, and the key was handed to Mr Curtis, who smiled complacently as he pocketed it, as though ha was perfectly satisfied that no one could enter the Cabinet without his sanction. Then, one and another stepped forward and buckled a strap here, and fastened a cord there, until the outside looked like a perfect network of rope. Finally, Mr Sharp appeared on the stage with a long coil, labelled ' Sheehan's promises, ' and these he wound round and round and round, tying all sorts of knots, which looked as though they were fresh from a sailor's hands, so neat and secure did they appear. But, from the sequel, I fancy that there must hare been just one 'granny' among them. However, when they were all made fast, it really looked as though no one could ever enter that Cabinet. And so everyone thought who had a hand in securing it. But will you believe me that in an incredibly short space of time, notwithstanding all these precautions that had been taken, the straps were unbuckled, the knots were untied, the door was unlocked, and, behold, Sir George Grey had effected an entrance? But, unlike Madame Stella, he did nob step out and show himself to. the audience, bat there he remained quietly until more than half of those who were looking on called out to him to come forth, and what do you think he did then?" "Really," I said, « I have no idea. What was it?" " Why, he just showed his face out of the door, put his thumb to his nose, and quietly said—* No fear, gentlemen. It cost me a good deal of trouble to get in, and here I mean to remain whether you like it or not.' That was the end of the great ' New Zealand Cabinet trick.' "

I like a thoroughly good colonist. He always commands my respect, and I am ever ready to give him a special notice in these my weekly jottings. Such an one was brought to; light by the census the other day. The collector called for his paper and was told that he mast give him at least one more, for on that which he had left there was not nearly room for the names of all ; his family. There were no visitors, mind you, no servants or lodgers to swell the list, but the actual bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh were so numerous that the lines on the paper would not allow of their all being entered. Now if the father of that family will allow me I will offer him a hint which he may possibly turn to good account. It is this. In the same spirit that actuates the chairmen of our Road Boards lot him wait upon the Premier on his arrival here with an address of welcome. This will give him an opportunity, similar to that which the said chairmen mean to embrace, of stating his requirements, and urging his claims upon the Government. " I have saved you so much in the shape of immigrants' passage money," let him say, "am I not entitled to receive from the Government what it would have cost to bring out this crowd " — pointing pathetically to his progeny—" to New Zealand? ' I believe Sir George would listen favorably to his prayer, at all events I am open to bei; 50 to 1 that ho would promise to take it into his careful consideration. F.