THE WEEK.

Nelson Evening Mail, Volume XIII, Issue 23, 26 January 1878, Page 2

THE WEEK.

Three times now has it been my lot to sit out the speeches of members of Parliament since the close of the last session, and I don't mind letting it be publicly known that I shall not be caused any very great amount of grief if I am not called upon to attend another such meeting, as there is a monotony about these addresses that precludes the hearer from extracting any amount of enjoyment from them if too frequently repeated. I really believe that a reporter of ordinary intelligence after reportiag say two of these political meetings might undertake to give the readers of his newspaper a very fair account of the third without being present, excepting of course, what constitutes the afterpiece, when the questioners and smaller speech makers roll up. Then for the first time you get originality, which is exceedingly pleasant after the hashed Hansard with which you have been regaled. As the result of some little experience as a listener to post sessional speeches I offer to our members the following suggestion:— To begin with, alter the wording of your advertisements, and make them read thus— "Mr Curtius Blunt will be happy to meet the electors on such and such a night, and to offer himself as a target to be shot at by all comers." On the night, appoint your chair, man, take your seat on the platform, aud coufiue your address-in-chief to words to the following effect:— "Gentlemen, all of you who have followed the proceedings of Parliament must know very well what I said aud how I voted. Those of you who have not, evidently don't care to know, so I won't bother you with a speech, but here I am ready to answer any questions, and to exj plain any portion of my conduct that may seem to require explanation. Now then, fire away one at a time." There would be an amount of straightforwardness and originality about this that would take very well, and representatives juid constituents would at once be placed one xcellent terms. I should like to see it tried. Members of Parliament when they come to address the electors after a session are

more largely indebted to the telegraph for getting them out of a scrape than most people are aware of. A catechiser who happens to be not very clear as to the source of his information puts a question based upon somethiug he has read somewhere, he is not quite sure where. This uncertaiuty, uuknown to himself, shows itself in his manner, and if M.H R. is at all sharp he at once detects this, and says in a tone of supreme contempt, " Those blessed wires again! They are always misleading people aud transmitting intelligence that is not to be relied upon. I heartily wish they were cut down during the session." In his heart, though, he really does not wish this at all, for iu this excuse he often discovers a way of retreat that, but for those much abused wires, would not be open to him lam sometimes reminded at these meetings of what came under my notice at the commencement of the present war. A friend of mine who is a devoted Russophilist, aud consequently a virulent Turkophobist, would never allow the possibility of his enemies gaining even the slightest success over his friends. The first telegrams that came to hand announced the Russian advances, the uncontested passage of the Danube, the crossing of the Balkans, and soon. He was jubilant. " I told you so," he would say, " I kuew what it would be. What a boon it is having telegraphic communication by means of which we are daily kept acquainted with what is taking place." Then there came a chauge, and day after day arrived telegrams informing us of Russian disasters and Turkish successes. For a time he bore this well, but at last he could stand it no longer, and would exclaim as each item came to hand, " What bosh! I tell you what it is, you can't believe a single word of these cablegrams." In this particular respect my friend would make a very successful M.H.R. How softeniug is the influence of time. I dont mean always and without exception, for it may happen that you have put your name to a piece of paper, and are gravely doubtful whether you will be in a position to meet the liability thus incurred when the inevitable day comes round. Under such cir cumstances the passing of time has the reverse of a soothing effect, but as a rule, my first proposition will prove to be a correct one. For instance, you part with a dear friend whom you thiuk you can never forget, indeed you feel that the light of your life is gone never again to bo restored. Have you not sometimes been surprised to find how as the days go by your sorrow seems to grow lighter ond lighter, until at last you find that you are not so very much more miserable than when you and yonr friend were in daily . communion? Or perhaps you do something in your public capacity to raise the ire of the public, and to rouse the thunders of the press. You get awfully abused in the newspapers, and at last really begin to believe that what everybody says must be true, that you have unconsciously become quite a worthless character, and will never again be able to hold up your head before your fellow men. But nine days after the row is over, the public and yourself have forgotten all about it, and you find yourself not one bit the worse for it all. But the truth of my assertion may be proved in another way. Take two members, who during a session of Parliament have done something to displease their constituents. One wauts to get the session and all pertaining to it off his mind as quickly as possible, so within a very short time after his return he summons the electors to meet him, gets a cold reception, and is not even awarded a vote of thanks. The other waits a month, then holds his meeting, receives a vote of confidence, aud comes off with flying colors. Moral for members: Procrastination is the soul of business. Money is to be made in various ways. One that I heard of the other day struck me as having at least the merit of novelty. A contractor for some large public works— we will say in Victoria— met with bad luck. The rain fell and the storms came, and floods and landslips played the very mischief with his work, and the consequence was that he was unable to meet his engagements, and had to cail a meeting of his creditors. They considered the circumstances, were disposed to be lenient with him, and compounded for only a few shillings in the pound. Then a happy thought struck that contractor. He went to the Government, laid before them a pitiful statement of his misfortunes, and showed how great a loser he was. It was not necessary to make mention of the arrangement with his creditors— what had that to do with the Government, or the Government with it? The end was that the Government were so moved by his sorrowful tale that they allowed him a very handsome sum as compensation. I have not heard that the creditors received a share of the hundreds he thus received, but I rather think that they did not. Perhaps, however, I shall learn more about it when the next mail arrives from Australia. . P-