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Nelson Evening Mail, Volume XIII, Issue 22, 25 January 1878, Page 2

A Frenchman in Canterbury recently played a practical joke upon a medical man by giving him a false message to attend upon a lady at a distance. He was brought up under the Vagrant Act and sentenced to three months' imprisonment. At Wanganui two men fell out about a young lady, being rival suitors for her hand. They agreed to refer the matter to fisticuffs. One was young and impetuous, the other old and mature. The elder one won both the fight and the lady. Reef ton is fast puttingon all the outward and visible signs of a populous community. The streets, both in the day time as well as in the evening, have, during the past few months, worn quite a lively, appearance, due chiefly to the number of strangers coming into the district in search of employment. The Times, however, regrets to learn that the number of unemployed men— mauy of them marred and with families— is greater now than has been the case any time in the past. Our native friends of the Waimate (says the Wanganui Herald) have a keen eye to the main chance. For some years now a profitable business has been done in threshing out the grass seed that grows so plentifully in the fertile plains north of Waingongora and selling it in Wanganui. Titoko Waru is anxious to march with the times, and with that end has purchased a threshing machine. Titoko is determined to reap the full benefit of the confiscated land before the question is finally settled. The -V. Z. Times of Thursday says :— A telegram received last night by the Inspector of Police, from the officer on duty at Carterton, says a heavy gale blew all last night and this morning. Several chimneys and telegraph po'es were blown down. Mr Parker, an old settler, had a very narrow escape from being killed. During the night he wen j outside his house, and a tree fell upon him, striking him on the neck. He lay senseless for some time, when he was discovered by his wife. During the gale a bush fire was burning in the neighbourhood, but was put out by the heavy rain. The Hawke's Bay Herald states that Major Ropata has adopted the role of a social reformer amongst the Ngatiporou. He is doing the peripatetic philosopher, and vigorously denouncing drunkards and other sinners. The result is that the Ngatiporou has resolved to repair the churches, to iuvite clergymen and lay readers to reside in the district, and to abolish swearing, Sabbathbreaking, and stealing; in short, " all other deadly sins." A Maori, Mr Sydney Taiwhanga, who has already attained some public notoriety, has written a long letter, which the N.Z. Herald canrot insert in its entirety. He first discusses the question between his Excellency the Governor and Ministers as to the visit of Sir W. Jervois aud Colonel Scratchley, and approves of the reason given by Sir George Grey for declining the visit of the commissioners to New Zealand. He thinks that the « internal enemy " referred to by the Premier, is more dangerous than an external foe, and then proceeds to say that for thirte years he has been endeavoring to get the Government to aid him in his scheme for educating Maori children, but he has always met with blank refusal. He is quite certain that the present system, under the Native Schools Act, 1867, will never educate our Maori children for a thousand years to come. Mr Taiwhanga then proceeds:—" If this simple system be allowed by the present Government to be in practice, I guarantee that in the course of twenty-one years' time our children will be on the same footing with the English childreu. I hope for the sake of both races, and for the good of the colony at large, that our worthy new Government will use all their uttermost power without delay to assist me in carrying out my purposed system of educating our Maori children. With regard to my proposed system, I have made a bill myself fir the purpose(in charge of Mr Sheehan, M.H.R.) in the best way I can ; at the session of 1876 it was disposed of, and at the session of 1877 I sent it up again to Mr Sheehan, Native Minister, and lam sorry to say that I do not know what that honorable gentleman has done with it."

Bogs are. evidently too plentiful, at Oamaru, judging from this extract from the Mail :— When our hospital is full ; when our surgeons are so busy that even sleep will be denied to I hem ; when our Coroner will have no time to attend to any. publio duty but that of holding inquests ; when t o f ur, town is deluged with subscription lists in aid of widows and orphans left destitute : when all these things are — anJ according to the progress of the present state of things that time is not far distant — then, and it is evident not till then, will a move be made, to rid,. Oamaru, of. the curs that, in packs, rush out nt the heels of every horHe (saddle and harness) they see. An official who rau3fc have suffered "deeply" from the occasional visits of. the functionaries indicated, sends us the following as " original" : — Dkath. At Wellington, Government Brande.r, deeply regretted by all who knew him. Also, at the same time and place, Major Fussy Fussy, otherwise known as the " Blue tailed fly." They, were lovely, in their lives, and by death were not long divided. A lady sent a note to the newspaper to get a recipe to cure the whooping cough in a pair of twine. By a mistake a recipe for pickling onion,s was unconsciously inserted, and her name attached, ahd she. received this answer through the " Answers to Corresponr dents :" Mrs L H.B.— -if not too young, ekin them pretty closely, immerse in scaldiDg water, sprinkle plentifully, with salt, and soak them for a week in strong brine. The editor of the Poverty Bay Standard thus humourously ventilates his jvery latest grievances : — If the gentlemen larrikins who carried away our office door-atep, fail to return it, we shall take some other step to have the gentlemen in question carried to the lockup. We should, at this festive season have failed to notice any little irregularities on the part of our rollicking rams. If they had smashed somebody else's windows, or stolen a cashbox, or done a bit of horse-stealing, or broken open other people's doors, we could and would have forgiven them, but when they make away with our door-step they do that which not enriches them, but makes it inconvenient to us inde.d. Io taking our door-step they, in fact, have taken a rise out of us. If that step is not returned to us, we shall exhibit the photographs of the offenders in our office window with a specimen of their hand-writing and orthography — -For they are known to us. There are things in season allowable; but nothing to cause anger to the Fourth Estate, for with its representatives vengeance follows with lightning speed. We demand that our step be returned. What, although it be only tbe half of a rotten packing-case. Is that any reason why it should not be held as sacred as if it had been made of pure Parian marble ? Where are the police ? The destruction caused by the parroquets this year seems to be general all over the south island. Mr J. Bladier, of the Arahaure, a skilful cultivator of fruits, thus quaintly describes their ravages in that district : I see the Colorado beetle is monopolising the attention of the world. All the honors are bestowed upon him ; his portrait is taken minutely and sent everywhere ; the newspapers exhibit him in their columns, and, in fact, the nations are on the look out for hiß appearance. Yet we have here an innocent little bird who wears the green, the pet of the forest, a gem of its kind, and bo tame that one would think he never sins. But that tame little green parroquet has sinned this season. against the settlers ; for, not content with his own berries in bis own dominion, he has invaded our orchards and destroyed all our fruits. Cruel Boreas has destroyed.all our pear and apple blossoms; Jupiter Pluyius has swamped our Btrawberries ; the river has carried away our fences and land, and we thought the wreck was greit enough. The cherries braved the storm; but tbe parroquets came, and all there is left to our share is the stones hanging from the trees. They ate the flesh and have left us nothing but theskeletOD. Tears 02 Pestilence;.— ln a letter addressed to the Philadelphia Star Dr B. T. Trail remarks : — '• We shall not wait long for the appearance of the expected pestilences, for we are approaching a very pestilential period. Jupeitr, 1000 times as large as the earth, revolves round the Bun every 12 years. Saturn, once in about 30 ye'irs ; Uranus once in about 84 years ; Neptuue, once in 16. years. The perihelion of ail these planets does not occur at the same time more than once in thousands of years. In the Bixtb century, and a^ain in the sixteenth, the first three were coincidently in perihelion ; end these were the mest pestilential periods of the Christian era. The periheliou periods of Jupiter and Saturn coincide with the extensive prevalence o( phgtie, cholera, and other epidemics. But in the future, from even now to 1835. we are to have what has not hapueued for 1800 years, viz., the nearest approach to the suu of all lour of these lar^e planets coincideotly. The obvious deduction from this fact and theory is, that the changes of the eirth's temperature; and the change 1 condition ot itatmosphere, eousequent ou the interference with or abstraction of the usual amount of its light and hear, will be increasingly unfavorable to lite and health on our globe fro:n this present ti.ne to 1880, and from 1880 to 1885 tbo adverse influences will be the greatest ; altar tbat they will gradually diminish."

The following paragraph appears in the Otago Daily Times, of a recent dat9 : — " At the supper following the anunal gathering of the Celedonian Society of North o*ago, sorae wonderful speeches were made. In replying to one of the (oasts, Mr N. Fleming made some remarks that are worth publishingj. He said: — 'But Ido not consiler Robert Burns low. The author of : " Scots Wha Ha*," and' "Mary in Heaven,'' is hi^h — decidedly high. Robert Burns is Scotland's, brightest gum. When all her other men shall; be laid low, and their memory forgotten. — when Scotland's brightest sun: shall sink in oblivion — when her fairest institutions shall be mouldering in the dust — when Edinburgh Rock shall have crumbled to atoms — when her grand; old battlemeuts, her kingly palaces, and her castellated towns, shall bear no trace of their existence— the genius of. Robert Burns shell shine as the stars for ever and ever; his immortal memory shall only be travelling onwards towards the zenith of its splendor I Yes, Robert, thou art Scotland's greatesa son, the poet of her people, the patriot of Caledouia, the terror of the tyrant, the freeman's buckler, the friend of the friendless,, the .shield of the nation, the genius of the world. Yes, ray countrymen cherish the memory of Robert Burns, for of all in. the. list in the annals of Caledouh, his name is the greatest, his star is the brightest, and his love is the warmest; it is Scotland's boast, the watchword of liberty, and the Scotchman's password. Go then, my countrymen, teach your bous and daughters legends of Caledonia, point out to them the grandeur of ber people, the simplicity of her religion, ber race for liberty and independence." This is what an Auckland paragraphist thicks of Gisborne : — " Gisborne is celebrated for its virtuous people, its fine men, its beautiful women, its lovely children, for its morals and for its beer. There is not a man in Gisborne but what is considered deserving of credit. If he does not get such credit it is his own fault for not trying." A lady in general conversation the other day, by ingeniously cooking her dateß, was reducing her age to an astonishing limit. Her daughter whose partly French blood had brought ; her a keen wit, interposed with the remonstrance, 'At least leave nine months between our ages, mamma 1* Says the _\ T . Z. Sun : — A valued correspondent who, by-ihe-bye, is a great terrestrial traveller and a friend of acoustic successes has sent us the following for publicaiiou under the signature of U R. T." Let the conception speak for itself :— " Go my son, and shut She shutter," Thus I heard a mother utter. " Shutter's shut," the boy did mutter; "I can't shut it any shutter."