GOING TO THE DENTIST.

Nelson Evening Mail, Volume XII, Issue 303, 22 December 1877, Page 4

GOING TO THE DENTIST.

An American humorist gets oil the following :

I like to come across a man with the toothache. There's somethiug so pleasant about advising him to stuff cotton into the tooth, use. camphor, creosote, and peppermint, that I always feel better after giving it. I have had an aching snag, and I know just how it feeh. I didn't meet man or woman but what they advised me. One said that a hot knitting needle pushed down on the root was an excellent thing; and others said that it muet be dug out by the dentist. 1 ate cotton, peppermint, camphor, and opium until I was black in the face. I put bags of hot ashes ou my cheek, applied mustard, held my head in the oven, and the ache still ached. After the third week, I decided to have my tooth out. I changed my mind four times in the afternoon, and at last I went. The demist was glad to see me. He said that if ha could not take that out without hurting me he would give me a million. It wqb easier as he talked, and I concluded not to have it pulled. I started downatairs, but a jump caught me, and I returned back. He said he would look at it j perhaps it did not need pulling but he would kill the nerve. By aid of flattery he got me into a chair. Then he softly inserted a knife and cut the gums. I looked as if I said I would kill him, but he begged me not to — saying cutting was all the pain there was in it. He finally got me to lie back and open my mouth, and then slipped in his forceps, and closed them round the tooth. "0 bordorordou-bordese-forsor I" I cried, but he didn't pay any attention to it. Ha drew a full breath grasped the forceps tightly, and he then pulled. Great spoons, but didn't it seem as if my head was goino? I tried to shout, grabbed at him, kicked and then he held up tbe old snack and said: "There— l guess you won't fael any more aching." I leaped down and huggeJ him ; I promised him ten million ; I told him to make my homa his house for ever; I hugged bima^ain. I shook hands with everybody in thd street, kissed my wife, bought the baby a dozen rattle-boxes in a heap and it seemed to me as if the world was too email for me, I was so happy.