HOW A CHICAGO GIRL FIXED HIM.

Nelson Evening Mail, Volume XII, Issue 252, 24 October 1877, Page 4

HOW A CHICAGO GIRL FIXED HIM.

"Will you do something to oblige me ?" shyly asked a beautiful young woman of a timid gentleman whose acquaintance she had just made at a small social gathering in Adams street the other evening. "Anything that I can, in honor, miss," he replied, blushing. "Well," said she, "come into the back parlor, where it is dark, and sit on. the sofa with me, and let me rest my head on your shoulder, and you pretend to whisper in my ear — only don't blow, because it tickles so, and I can't laugh, for this new dress is very tight — and when anybody looks you can draw your arm awayT-I forgot to say I wanted it round my waist— and I'll pretend to blusb." " But, my gracious ! honored miss," stammered the young man, 'after hastily dividing 4 into 1874 and finding that it wasn't leap year ; my goodness ! before all these people — 'and I am already engaged — and your father must weigh—-" "Husb, I know what I am up to," replied the artlees girl. "I am engaged to, to tbat young man talking to the waxen- faced thicg, with somebody else's hair over there. I want to stir him tip— to bring him down to business —to make him come up to his miik, that's all." The young man said that a load had been lifted from his bosom, and aided her to the best of his ability — so well indeed, that in three-quarters of an hour the true betrothed got his girl into the library, demanded an explanation of her shameless conduct, was softened by her tears, called himaeif a brute, asked if ever she could forgive, and promise to behave better in future. Arid how did the young girl reward the man who helped her 10 this happiness ? Why she never said a word to him, except to say to her reconciled lover, " Alonzo, could you have been co stupid as to think I could see anything to admire in such a muttonheaded clam as tbat ? " Oh, woman in our hours of ease, &c!