THE DYNASTY OF COOKS.

Nelson Evening Mail, Volume XII, Issue 249, 20 October 1877, Page 4

THE DYNASTY OF COOKS.

A certain literary gentleman of New Xork, whose family had a little difficulty in the matter of cooks, kept account of the rapid changes in downstairs' government, and culled his document when finished, "Culinary Dyuasly of the house of Brown, from the reign of Bridget the Pure down to the present Monarch." Similarly embellished by incidental rhetorical graces, Mr Brown's list read something after the following manner: — .Bridget I, surnamed the Pure. Began to reign December, 1865; abdicated October, 1876, because contemplating a life of seclusion — and matrimony. Her reign was marked by great ' executive wisdom, clemency, and economy, and its cessation ' caused the most sincere regret. Succeeded by Bridget 11, a sovereign of considerable administrative power, but cursed with a moat irascible disposition. Insulted her prime minister (Mr Brown) when justly rebuked by that dignitary for the reckiesa consumption of butter. Popular opinion (Mrs Brown) being decidedly against her, she Abdicated November, 1876, in favor of Katberine, sarnamed the Flirt, on account of the multiplicity of her suitors. A^iddy, good-natured Queen, but. wholly unfit for her exalted position. She was deposed November, 1876, and succeeded by A Regency of Three Days, daring which Jane (a valued chambermaid) wielded with much ability the culinary sceptre. After which the kitchen was decended into by Bridget 111, a sovereign whose character previous to accession had been represented as stainless, but who early gave signs of the most revolting intemperance. Driven from the kitchen by an indignant people (Mr Brown) after an alcoholic reign of only two days, and succeeded by Mary Ellen, aafcirically surnamed the Skeleton, on account of her unnatural stoutness. Celebrated for intense laziness. Deposed December, 1876, and succeeded by Margaret, popularly known as the Fiend. Threatened to kill her Prime Minister two hours after coronation. On the following day refused to abdicate. Resisted even the demands of the army (ft policeman), who unanimously endorsed the policy of the I'rinie Minister. Im prisoned for high treason , December, 1876, End unknown. Succeeded by Bridget IV, surnamed the Lunatic. Her administration was chiefly distinguished by an attempt to subvert the usual methods of dining throughout her realm; causing soup to be served after fish, and meat before either. Banished after a turbulent reign of twelve hours, and was succeeded by Ann, known as the Spoiler. * * * And so on, through a terrible list of wrong aud outrage, the chronicle continues, at hat' ending in the month of Febuary, with the following happy item : Bridget XV, the reigning sovereign, eurnamed the Culinary Antonine. Modest of demeanor, gentle of speech, wise and economical in her rule. Beloved by Minister and people. A slight difficulty with France (the child's foreign nurse), which occurred in the early, part of her reign, has now been \ amicably settled The realm is at present in the most flourishing condition, and the refrigerator has never been so prosperously administered. Long live Bridget XV.