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Nelson Evening Mail, Volume XII, Issue 218, 14 September 1877, Page 4

The following amusing incident in Connection with TWhiao is related by \ our Waikato contemporary:— " 'Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown!' By the by, it always struck us the head would be a great deal oneaaier without ita crown. Bat in the main the poet was right. Royalty has ita drawbacks, acd even a King oannot answer for the conduct of bis female appendages. Such was the case with our sable regal neighbour King Tawhiap. A native that we met in Cambridge some three . or four days ago, gave as the followiag delicious particulars of the goings on at \ the Court of this uxorious autocrat. It ; appears that he ia unfortunate enough i to countenance polygramy to the ' limited extent of three wives. As an almost certain consequanae, two out of the three commenced a flirtation with one of the leading subjects of his Majesty. Dire was the wrath of the descendant of Potatu. He summoned his three spouses to his august presence, and in order to make a ' shocking example ' commenced to chastise one of the delinquents. But her companion ia iniquity foreseeing trouble to herself in the future, rushed to the rescue, and it was only aftor repeated charges that his Royal Highness succeeded in driving her from the whare. The monarch then sat down, with the head of his dear, lost erring, wife upon his lap, and calmly and deliberately, with a razor, removed every hair from her head. The outraged woman at first remonstrated.butreflactiag.that it was easier to grow new hair than a new windpipe, soon resigned herself to her fate. The infuriated monarch is now putting forth all his wiles, and exhausting all his strategy to capture the other dusky sinner, with a view to administering to her, also, a ' clean shave.' She is said to be about to fly to the generous bosom of Dr. Pollen, for assistance and protection." u Atlas" writes in The World :— ln a well-known High-Church suburb of our metropolis, a considerable portion of its fair residents were a short time back attacked by a severe confessional epidemic. Overtures on the subject were made by them to their church, by whom it was supposed by the sufferers that they were received, and favorable consideration to their prayer was obtained. Matters proceeded till at length an intimation was forwarded desiring four uf the fair penitents to attend at a certain place and hour in the neighbourhood of the church of St. — — , it not being considered advisable by their spiritual advisers, in deference to public opinion, to COllduut tlio ooromony openly. This further mystery was, I need not add, thought to be delightful by the fair penitents ; but no small difficulty was caused by the command for a selected number of sinners only. We all sin with the crowd, and we all acknowledge that we are great sinners ; hence a considerable difficulty arose. However, by a happy . arrangement of the lap and the lot, this difficulty was disposed of, and the required number of deeply-burdened penitents was obtained. These repaired at the appointed hour to the selected place, and wera ushered into an extensive bare- walled room, at tbe far end of which stood two sturdy washwomen, each armed with a huge birch. Tbese by voice and guesture announced that they were directed to administer absolutio in extremis, and forthwith prepared to commence. The penitents scremed, were allowed to flee, and fled. Who the perpetrator of this pious fraud is has not yet been discovered, but the fair portion of the con-gr-gation of St.— — insist on attributiog it to one of the younger curates, who holds unorthodox views, and has moreover, cast a merry eye on the 11 Penitent Four" since the event. I need hardly add that be has been extensively scratched for the slipper race. This ia very spiteful ; but, ah, ma foi, tbe world is very wicked!