WIT IN COURT.

Nelson Evening Mail, Volume XII, Issue 67, 19 March 1877, Page 4

WIT IN COURT.

{Leisure Hour). Keen and cutting words, or even, trifling incivilities, indulged in at the expense of counsel, have sometimes met with swift retribution. Plunket was once engaged in a caße, when, towards the end of the afternoon, it ber came a question whether the Court should proceed or adjourn till the next day, Plunket expressed his willingness to go on if the jury would " set." " Sit, sir, sit," said ihe presiding judge, " not ' set,' hens set." " I thank you, my lord," eaid Plunket. The case proceeded, and presently tbe judge bad occasion to observe that if that were the case, ha feared the action would not " lay," " Lie, my lord, lie," exclaimed ihe barrister, " not lay, hens lay." '* If you don't stop your coughing, sir," I said a testy and irritable judge, *' I'll" fine you a hundred pounds." "I'll give your lordship two hundred if you can stop it for me," was the ready reply. — Curran was once addressing a jury, when the judge, who was thought *o be antagonistic to his client, intimated his dissent of the arguments advanced by a shake of his bead. "I see, gentlemen," said Curt an, " I see tt^e motion of his lordship's head. Persons unacquainted with his lordshipwould be apt to think this a difference of opinion, but, be assured, gentlemeo,this is not the case. Wheu you know his lordship as well as I do, it will beu_- : necessary to tell you that when he shakes his head there really is nothing in.it." On another occasion Curran was pleading before Fitzgibbon, the Irish Chancellor, with whom he was upon terms of anything but friendship. The chancellor, with tbe distinct purpose as it would seem, of insulting the advocate, brought with him on to tbe Bench, a large Newfoundland dog, to which he devoted a great deal of bis attention while Curran was addressing a very elaborate argument to him. At a very material point in the speech the judge turned quito away, and seemed io v be wholly engrossed with his dog. Curran ceased to speak. "Go on, go 00, Mr Curran," said the chancellor. *«ob, I beg a thousand pardon?, my lords," said the witty barrister, ." I really was under the impression that your lordships were in consultation." But perhaps the most crushing; rejoinder ever flung back in return ior an insult from the Bench was that which this same advocate huded at Judge Robinson. Judge Robinson is described as a man of sour und cynical disposition, who had been raised to the Bench— -so, at least it wus commonly believed — simply because he had written in favor of the Government of tbe day a number of pamphlets remarkable for nothing but iheir servile aul raucorous scurrility. At a time when Curran was ooly just rising into notice, and while he was yet a. poor aod struggling man, this judge ventured upon a sneering joke, Which, small though it was, but tor

Curran's ready wit and scathing eloquence, might have done him irreparable injury. Speaking of some opinion of Council on the opposite side, Curran said he had consulted all his books, aod could not find a single case in which the principle in dispute was thus established. "That may be, Mr Curran," shfjeHiiM jludge; feiT susjxect-yo'iit: ; law library is rather limited/' Curran" eyed the heartless toady for a moment; ahd then broke forth with this noble retali_tion:n-" It ; isjvery true, my jord,?; t|iat I om poor, and this circumstance!: lias rather curtailed my library. My o books are not numerous but tbey are select, and- I hope have been pe.rjised : with proper dispositions. I have prepared myself for this high profession rather by the study of a few good: books than tbe composition of a great many bad ones. lam not ashamed of my poverty, but I should be ashamed of my. wealth, if I'could ; stoop to acquire it by servility, and corruption. If I rise not to rank, I shall at least be honest; and should, I ever cease to be So, many an example shows me that an ill-acquired elevation,- by making me the more conspicuous, would only make Uie the more universally and notoriously. L dontemptible."