"SOMEBODY TOLD ME.

Nelson Evening Mail, Volume XL, Issue 216, 2 September 1876, Page 4

"SOMEBODY TOLD ME.

(From the World.) Who sets (he stone of scandal rolling, and. contributes the first item to the . marvellous history which, with its wealth of minute though occasionally, contradictory detail, forms the nin.B days' wonders of club windows and ■ Belgcavian. boudoirs? As often as not the story is absolutely untrue; oftener still, the germ from whioh it sprang is as different from the full-blown product as csn well be imagined; while in the comparatively rare instances when the whole of the circumstances are authentic, telling, but imaginative, details are generally added with a lavish hand by each successive raconteur. We have likened scandal to a stoae, and the simile is: certainly applicable in one respect — stones will not roll up-hill; Bcandnl rolls downwards to the depths. The person who would invent ah amiable story, or one to bis neighbor's | credit, is yet to be found; nay, a perfectly authentic story which redounds to the advantage of its object is rarely believed and never repeated. If any amiable soul should by a wonderful , chance attempt to give it currency, it iB received with a dubious " Ab, really!" and the subject at once drops. It is impossible ever to trace a scandalous history, the greater number of them have beginnings absolutely infinitesimal; bat the growth of Jack's beanstalk was leisurely and protracted when, cempared with the rate at which they grow, so: that the original disseminator can hardly two days after recognise the offspring of his own brain. It is a point of honor among the scandalloving fraternity not to give up their authority,— there is honor, it is said, among thieves; so perhaps those who steal characters are no exception to the rale. Besides, they do not wish their own names mentioned, and fear that if they gave up their authority they might themselves in turn be quoted. So it is always " somebody " who tells them, 81 somebody " who <; knows all about it," or who " has it on the very best authority;" and bo the story rolls on, growinglonger and fuller of startling details, in direct contravention of the proverb that declares that "a rolling stone gathers no moss." We presume we shall be laughed to scorn when we record our deliberate conviction that when a story owes its origin to deliberate invention rather than to misapprehension, the "somebody " who commences it is, almost iavari&bly, a man. Women, we allow, propagate, and perhaps embellish, the story when it has once started on its career but it is very rarely indeed that they originate it. Dr. Watts informs us that " Satan finds some mischief still for idle hands to do;" and without entering on a controversy which might involve us in a correspondence with Mr Jenkins and Mr Cook, we may safely aver that " empty heads " are as full of danger. Polo and Price's, race-horses and pigeon-matches, are engrossing topics; but even co, they eppear occasionally to pall oq the sated taste, and then tha vacuous mind turns naturally to gossip, and— men's loquacity not having the unfailing feminine safety-valve of dress — at once progresses to scandal. A woman's reputation more or less—what can that Bigoify compared to the satisfaction of. contributing imaginary details to a mythical scandal? The happinness of a pure woman's life may be destroyed, the confidence of a home ruined; but the^rofeemoKcAecarea little— he will have had his hour, when, as the contributor of a false incident to a sensational invention, he may for once have been listened to with attention. Unfortunately it is one of the evil affectations of the day for men to profess to believe that no women is pure or worthy of respect, encouraged thereto by the more than doubtful behavior of the fast set who imagine they win more than homage by emancipating themselves from the trammels of decency and self respect. Affactation, we call it advisedly, for they would be quick as ever to resent the faintest imputation on any woman connected, no matter how remotely, with themselves; and if each man's own womanhood is spotless, what room is left for the shameless and abandoned persons whereof they talk, as if they believed society were full ? But if, as we say, men originate the scandals, women are very far from blameless as regards their repetition. We fear, indeed, that they often very specially welcome those of their male friends who bring them the most of what they euphemistically call " news," but which is really gossip and scandal, seldom edifying and frequently unsavory. Formerly such conversation was left to the rouged and bewigged dowagers, who had lost their power of participating in the pleasures of youth without acquiring any of the graces or dignities of age; but now young women who ought to blush at the merest whisper of the stories they so glibly repeat, nay, even girls, to whom they should be utterly unknown and incomprehensible, rival each other in reciting what " somebody told them." It is wonderful it should not strike them that this eagerness to tarnish the reputation of others is apt to cause thoughtful persons to imagine that they are not free from suspicion themselves and are therefore anxious to drag others down to their own level. A woman, herself above suspicion, should never be afraid to profess her disbelief in an ill-natured story, or, if possible, to confute it by positive proof. Cynics may sneer at her credulity, but in their hearts they will respect her infinitely more than they do their gossiping neighbors;

and quidnuncs may hate her for spoiling their story, but will speedily console themselves with hints, innuendoes, and oracular mutterinas that" there is no smoke without fire," a saying more untrue, if that be possible, than the generality of proverbs. If women would resolutely combine and refuse to listen to scandal they would do more to compass the destruction of the mendacious " somebody " than can be done any o'her way; for one of the great objects of concocting these piquant dishes is to render the gobernouche acceptable to his lady friends. But " somebody " is also responsible for many stories, born not; so much of deliberate malice as of thick-headed stupidity. There are, unfortunately many persons gifted with a curious inaptititude for either understanding thoroughly what is told to them, or for repeating the smallest matter correctly; and among such well-meaning but aggravating persons a story grows and alters much -affiri a game of 9 Russian scandal," until its original author would certainly fail to recognise hia production. These worthy people in all good faith say " Somebody told me ; " they are far too puzzle-headed to attempt to give their authority, which is as well, for they would almost certainly give the wrong one. Then there is another class who understand the story, but overlay it in repetition with so many of their own opinions, surmises, and deductions, that they leave on the listener's mind a. totally different, impression from that which is on their own. Then, too, follow all the phases of the people who think such end such very likely, those who think it is the case, who believe it has occurred, who have it on the best authority from " somebody," who know it for a fact, because "somebody " told them. Very often in telling a story people are constrained to quote this most aggravating, and meddling "somebody," having been specially enjoined by their informants " not to mention them as an authority." Why cannot they summon all their resolution ! and determine never again to repeat an ill-natured story when it rests on no better testimony than " somebody told me?" ' i • •

I ii Tbe modern Rochefoucauld says the average gorilla of Central Africa now points to Stanley and his band of explorers, and pathetically reminds its grandchildren that it is what they may one day expect to come to. A Kansas court has decided that a man and his wiie may go to a circus on a ticket that cays " admit one," as they are "one flesh" and considerel as a unit. An irate father in Roxburg bae studed his front gate with nails, painted his doorsteps with tar, and keeps his watch dog on half rations, but has found to bis sorrow that he can't make courting unpoplar by any such device. Not in Roxburg. Brigham Young spoke a few words of wisdom, the other day, to a youthful Chicago enthusiast who called upon him. He said : «• Young man, be sure you are through with your search for the kind of partner you want — be sure you have got the pattern of woman that suits you, before leading her to the altar. Don't wait, antil. after marriage, as I did, and then keep on sampling." Darwin saye that animals have no religious sense, but he probably never j observed tbe calm, reflactive mauner in which a chicken will stand on one leg and look up to heaven after squeezing through a hole in the fence into the strawberry bed next door. "Did my moustache trouble you .?" aaked he of her. •« No," she sighed, M I only felt a little down in tbe mouth." Two Pennsylvania tramps stopped at the house of a lone widow, and one went in to beg. Very soon he came out with a bloody nose and a first-class black eye. "Well, did you get anything, Jack ? ' " Yes," growled the sufferer, "I've got tbe widow's might." A correspondent of the Scotsman in an Ayrshire borough writes: — A church in this neighborhood possesses a choir, four of the male members of which lately presented a petition to the conductor, requesting him to dismiss tbe remaining members, of tbe choir because they had not been "converted." If the request were not complied with, they threatened to leave the choir; and because the precentor failed to carry out their Christian request, the four ♦• unco quid " individuals actually absented themselves from their places the following Sunday.