THE WEEK.

Nelson Evening Mail, Volume XL, Issue 216, 2 September 1876, Page 2

TH E WE EK.

I believe that I am one of the unluckiest fellows in New Zealand. lam always missing chances ofc making money—seeing. them just as they. 4ave flitted by, when it is 100 late to turn them to account, For instancy suppose this day week I had made, it, my business to go about the town offering to take the odds wherever 1 could pick them up against Sir Julius Yogel being within nye. days from that date the most unpopular man in the- colony. Twenty to one, fifty to one, a hundred to one — there would not have been the slightest difficulty iv making bets on these conditions in every direction, and to-day my breeches pockets would scarcely hrtYe been capacious enough: to. hold all the cash; that would have poured into them, for that I should have won my money there is not the shadow. of a doubt. But then who would ever have thought it of the wary old politician, after his seventeen years of public life? Who would ever have supposed that for so small a consideration he would have forfeited his prestige, sacrificed his reputation, thrown himself from the elevated position to which he had raised himself? And yet it; must be admitted that he had already displayed some symptoms of losing that tact which had distinguished him in the past in that "Dear Pollen ." correspondence, in which he so jauntily asked for an extra thousand or two, in addition to his allowance, to cover the expenses of that trip to England, during which he " did not profess to have been economical. .1 remember some four years ago reading a sensible, homely little essay by a '« Country Parson" oa the "Art of putting things," wherein it was shown how by a little ingenuity a presentable face might be put upon some matter that in itself was disagreeable, if not actually obnoxious. Sir Julius at one time possessed that art in an eminent degree, but he appears to have lost it entirely now, or he would never have made such mistakes as he has been guilty of this session, and the last of which has ruined his reputation. I suppose it would not do to disclose the secrets of the Cabinet, but I cannot help thinking that if a representative of the press not totally devoid of humor had been present when the AgentGeneral business was talked over by Ministera in solemn conclave assembled he might have written an interesting and amusing little history of what then took place. Sir Julius tells us it was only within the last eight or ten days that the subject had been discussed, and that his colleagues had "suggested" his acceptance of the office. I like that word " suggested," which leads to the inference that until the matter had been mentioned to him within the last eight or ten days, he had never given it a thought. This has "suggested" to vay mind a picture of the scene in the Executive Chamber. Major Atkinson sagely stroking his beard j Sir Donald Maclean with his hard countenance as iinmoveably set as though he were about to listen to the excited speech of some noble savage, and had determined not to betray the slightest emotion ; Mr Bowen looking as though he didn't half like his position; Dr Pollen, with a scarcely-concealed merry twinkle in his eye.such as might be looked for in a comedian who was just about to take part in a favorite farce; Mr Eichardson, with his thoughts far away from the present scene, crossing and re-crossing in imagination the Grey Eiver at the spot where once it was spanned by a suspension bridge, and possibly wondering to himself what could ever have induced him to authorise the construction of so important a i railway on the wrong side of the riverMr George M'Lean with his canny Scotch shrewdness trying to look jolly but seriously doubting whether he was going to do the right thing, and striving to realise what the public would say to the outcome of that Cabinet meeting; and lastly, Sir Julius Yogel completely in the dark as to what was coming, and speculating upon what it was that cast such a reserve over his colleagues. So much for the scene; now for the " suggestion " and how it was made. ° Dp Pollen (a little nervously): " Voge' I presume you have hear.l that Queen Anne ( excuse me, bat I am a litt'e flurried by what I have before me) I mean, that Featheraton is dead." Sr Julius: "Alas! yes, poor Ftatherston! 1 ' Dr .Pollen: "You may perhaps remember that he was Agent-General for the colony " Sir Julius: "Yes, I think I do recollect it. Indeed if my memory serves me aright, I at one time was engage.! in a correspondence with him in that capacity." Dr Pollen: " Well, I suppose it will be necessary to appoint some one else ia his stead." Sir Julius: "Now you mention it, I suppose it wiil, but it never occurred to me bef ire. Poor Fcitherston, how shall we ever replace him?" Dr Pollen: «I grant it will be a difficult 'matter, but we have been talking it over, and

fancy that we can • suggest"' a name tint might be acceptable^ tq you." • - Sir Julius: " I fearlnot/at all events there "° °™S in New Zaalin i -fitte-J forithe post." ■P c Pollen: (< I am hot so : sure about that. The opa we are about'to "sugeeßt" has not lived all his lifo iq the cjlony, but he has been here,a great mkttvJyfiira, and has male two trips to England ia that time on public business." Sir Julius: "Ah! who can it be?" Dr Pollen: 'Now Yogel, don't you think you c*n guess? ' Juliua:; "rndeedT I cannot. • Ia he of w »? m yoo speak an ncqu -intance of mine?" Dr Pollen: "An intimate one. Now do try agnin. Have you no idea who it ia I mean?" Sir Jalias: "Not the elightest, I asaute you." Dr Pollen: « Then I must-break the news, to you c*utiouely, for I ace by your manner th*t you will be taken by surprise. We have been diseasing the subject, and luve agreed —try my dear Yogel to nerve yourself to hear whit I have to say— to • suggest ' to you— now don't be angry— th<*t you should j be JTeatherst m's successor. There, ifc'a out now, and I feel better for it." Sit Julius-^'Me!; -"Me, dear Pollen j-y 6a i surely don't mean 'me! Me AgeniiGeherair Dr Pollen : "Ye», afcer considerable thought, we decided to make the auegestioa to you.".. „,„.. ; Si?: Julias:* .«£ am sfunnVi)' taken by gurpise, Thisi* aboiit the. last thing that would ever have entered my head. \Bufc Idon't liketosay'No' to.your kind offar." (Turningto Sir Donald): t 'Whit ' aay you' .Maclean? . You h-we been my friend an a colleague for many years, what do you think, ought I to refuse to act upon this suggestion • | merely because. it has come upoa me ud> especto'lly." ' ' • Sir Donald (absently): "Kahore," (recollecting himself,)v. Pardon me, I mean No." Sir Julius: '-This ia indeed "good of you.' Gentlemen are you all of the same mind?" „ All:. " We all suggest it." Sir JuUiiß:"thea I accept, hurriedly and without sufficient thought it may appear to you, but I accept Aul now I beg you to excuse me if I leave you for a time to enable ins in solrtunle to rf<j6ver frooTmy surprise."?: [He leaves the'roDtn', and when outside the^ door, which he carefully shuts, two little speeches are male. , He says to himself :— « I wonder if I dii. that well." '. Dr. Pollen says to the others: "Isn't he a jolly old humbug?"J We all know the rest. •' A London telegram announces a further riae in kerosene and brandiea;" This was a paragraph that I noticed going the round of fche papers the other day. Can it be that there is some connection between the two, and that a rise iv brandy is a natural consequence of a similar change in , the kerosene market? It strikes me, now: I come to think of it, that I have occasionally tasted, if not brandy, some other spirit which might just as well have been made from kerosene as from any other material, judging from the fact that it ran exactly one headache to the glass. I must have a talk with the gentleman who was writing the other day about up-country grog ; I fancy he might be able to give me Borne little information on the subject. F.