THE ANOMALIES OF THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE.

Nelson Evening Mail, Volume XI, Issue 157, 24 June 1876, Page 4

THE ANOMALIES OF THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE.

j From an amusing volume of poems by Mr Fisher> Simpson, entitled " Mirth, Manners, Maxims, and Men," we extract the following clever piece on the difficuties and anomalies of the English language : — • : I'm one of those young urchins whom You've often seen, about, , Eor whom the School Board officers Are on the sharp look out, 1 1 used to roam away from home ; All day, and play the fool, But 'tis a fact, the recent Act Has driven me to school. Chorus. Moods and tenses worry my senses, \ Adverbs, ve_bs, and nouns as well ; They only vex me and perplex me, Eight from wrong I ne'er can tell. I learn to speak correctly now, Or hope to do in time ; But in the grammar I can see No reason, rule, or rhyme.. _?or rules give place in many a case To some exception queer; V • And many a word is made absurd, If you to rules adhere. -'. . i j Thus if you catch a cold,, you say I That you a. cold'have caught; J But if' a person you have scratched, > You never say you scraught. | You speak with sense in the past tense, j Of Jly to s&ylflezo, ' ; But past of cry 'sounds all my eye, If you should say I crew. : Again, if you a horse should buy, You'd say a horse I bought, ■■ But if that horse you were to try, You wouldn't say I trought. , I thiak you'll own its plainly shown ' The past of sink is sunk ; '. But If a lady winks at you, You wouldn't say she wunh. I To duty's post if you would stick, > You'd rightly pay I stuck ; , But'if your _nger you should prick, ' You'd never say I pruck. : Or if some time, your gun you prime, And shoot, you say you shot ; ; Bt when you've rooted up some plants, ; It's wrong to say I rot. Once more, we speak of thinking, And in the past say thought ; i But who that has been drinking, ' Would ! ever say I drought ? . • Or if you please to speak, of freeze ■■ In past tense you'd say froze ; Yet, £f you squeezed a lady's hand, - You wouldn't say I squoze. It's quite correct to say I speak, And iri the past I spoke ; But still it wouldn't sound correct To say I squeak, I squoke. A burning kiss from pretty miss You steal and say I stole; But when you heal her broken heart> You shouldn't say I hole.