ODDS AND ENDS.

Nelson Evening Mail, Volume XI, Issue 77, 18 March 1876, Page 4

ODDS AND ENDS.

An Alternate — The legal course which |fM)pen to' England if the Khedive don't pay his interest — Sue his Canal. — Ptinoh. ; , In Vino Very.— Mrs. Pralemop is plad to know, for patriotic reasons, as Russia is 'arming itself through the action of the Port. The action of the Port's been a 'arming Mr, P. for years, especially towards the end of his nose. — Fun. , A, Paradise for Oyster • eaters. — The, reception. of the Prince of Wales throughout the cities of India continues to be most cordial Prom Poonah we get a piece of news' which should be well receiVed i)a ttis cbuhtry. "The scene," we read, ♦' was one of wild but goodhumoured excitement, and the streets were/literally blocked up with natives." Fancy X~Judy. Maria is a very popular name in Illinois. When a cat climbs a back fence in a well populated neighborhood, and., .plaintively calls out •• Mariarl" twenty or thirty windows are hastily thrown up, from which protrude twenty or thirty feminine heads wildly answer ing, •« What ?" A Distinction with a Difference. — George wanted to take bis Hattie to the picnic, and went tearing and swearing 'around the bouse because he could not find a pair of clean cuffs. He forgot it was baking day when be tackled his mother Jn the kitchen. While he was picking the dough out of his ears and washing it out of his newly-fledged whiskers, he made up his mind that they weren't exactly the kind of cuffs he had been looking for. The Prince Imperial was going to visit : !Cotfk— the Mayor knowing of this, prepared an address, and employed a French master for six months previously so that he might be able to read it to' the Prince in French. The day arrived— the Mayor was about — and the address was read. The Prince, in replying to the address in excellent English (while the crowd was convulsed with, laughter) laughingly apologised for not knowing the Irish language but promised a written reply in English to the Mayor's feeling and pathetic address. Jake Father Like Son.— lt is remarkable that, as reported, royal personages have born unto (hem not children, not sons and daughters, but princes and princesses, for thus runs the general. announcement : — "H.R H. the Princess or Empress of such and such ,a kingdom, was safely delivered of a prince on Monday last." How quaintly the list of new arrivals would read* if' this style were followed throughout society. We should then note among *• Birlhs " of tbe Times : l «—■" Yesterday evening the Duchess of Bleakshire of a Duke." "On Tuesday last the Marchioness of Lawne of a Marquis." "On the sth instant, the wife, of- Rembrandt Umber, Esq., of a Painter." "Yesterday morning, at 3 a.m.,- tbe wife of the Rev. Mr Manyofem of a Curate.!' « ' On the 26th ult the wife of sDoric Peristyle, Esq.* of an» Architect." "On Friday evening last, Mrs WhyteLynen of aLaundreßß." "On the Qih, instant, the wife of Mr John Bull, Junjj of a Butcher." And finally, in the case of twins, "On Saturday last, the wife of Professor Lofcino Atrobati of two Bouncing Brothers ! " Extravagance of American Women. — A New York paper says: — " New York is crowded with rich, unmarried men, afraid of the expense of supporting these gilded butterflies. There is a bachelor of tho Fifth Avenue Hotel, whose income is 20,000 dollars a year, and still he says he cannot'afford to get married. He's a proud fellow, and says, as a single man he can have the best rooms and the best l box at the opera. 'If I should get married,' he said, 'l should have to stint myself, or overdraw my income.' ' Hqw is that ? ' asked a friend. ' Well, now, come into the parlor, and I'll show you. You see ladies are extravagant now-a-days. They dress so much; more than in Europe. I mean, they don't wear rich diamonds, like the, women of Florence and Milan, but they wear such rich dresses, laces, shawls, and furs. Now I'm proud, and I would not want my wife outdressed, bo £ have to keep out of the marriage business. Do you see that lady there ?' he said, pointing to a fashionable caller. 'Yes.' * Well, she has on a 40Odol. paniered, watteaued, polonaised, brown gros-grain dress, and I wear a 60dol. coat. She wears a 1,200d01. camel's hair shawl, and a 500 Jol. &et of sable, while' I wear a 50 Jol. overcoat. She w£a r f a a' 7Odol. bonnet, while I wear an Bdol. hat. She wearß 2Oodols. worth of point applique and point aguille, while I wear a 6dol. shirt. Her shoes cost 15d015., and mine cost 12dols. Her ordinary morning jewellery, which is, changed every year, not counting diamonds, costs 400d015., mine cost 50 dollars.' ■ ','Well,' how does it foot up ? ' 'Why, the clothes ehe has on cost 2,225d015., and mine 28Sdole., and that is only one of her dozen outfits, y»hile I orily'have — say three.* ' The facfc is,' 'said he, growing earnest, 'I couldn't begin to live in a brown stone front with that woman, and keep up appearances to match — carriages, church, opera, and sea-side, for 20,000 dols,, I'd have to become a secondrate roan/and live in an 18ft. bouße, or withdraw over to Second-avenue, and that I'll be hanged if Ido 1 ' and he slung his fist down into a nice new silk hat in the excess of his earnestness,**