The Nelson Evening Mail. WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 23, 1876.

Nelson Evening Mail, Volume XI, Issue 52, 23 February 1876, Page 2

The Nelson Evening Mail. WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 23, 1876.

JKThe cable is uow fairly at work, and we were yesterday enabled to place before our readers London news of the 19th instaufc, and Sydney and Melbourne telegrams not twenty-four hours old. One of the most interesting items to settlers in New Zealand is that referring to the opening of the wool sales, from which ifc appears that there is a small falling off in Australian sorts. A iarge number of people left town this morning for the Steeplechase ground. The half-past seven o'clock train went away full, the half-past eight o'clock with not quite so many, but; stiU having a considerable number, and the eleven o'clock was crowded. The boat which has been completed for the Naval Brigade will be formally launched to-morrow night, when she will be handed over to the Company, and taken to their boat shed. The official launch will take place next week. TnE members of the Arfcizans' Association intend giving a dramatic performance at the Oddfellows' Hall to-morrow night, when it is to be hoped that they will have a bumper house, as the receipts will be devoted fco the purchase of new books, &e. The Society has ever been ready to give entertainments for charitable purposes, and during the past year have raised close on £100 for the benefit of those who by accident or otherwise haye been suddenly and unexpectedly reduced to a state of poverty. It will, therefore, be only fair that the public should assist, by their presence to-morrow evening, in enabling the members to increase the funds at their disposal for so laudable an object as the enlargement of their library. Of the probable merits of the entertainment we need say nothing, as they have already been proved in more instances than one. A serious accident occurred this morning to a youth named Wheeden who was riding a horse on the Waimea Eoad, when, by some unexplained cause it shied, throwing its rider heavily to the ground. A piue occurred at tho Lower Moutere, on Saturday evening last, which resulted in the total destruction of Mr. Hyland's fine residence, with the whole of the furniture. The fire originated in an upstairs room while the family were afc tea, Mr. Hyland being away at the time in the bush. Besides the furnfture, a quantity of jam, to the value of £30, was also destroyed. The house was insured. The airy philosophers may have a new idea of coincidences. The girl who was murdered and chopped up in London the otber day was Harriet Lanej and the man who murdered and chopped her was named Wainwright. Ifc will be remembered that in the battle of Galveston Harbor, during the late war, the cutter Harriet Lane was in charge of Commodore Wainwright, who was wounded o and afterwards ruthlessly murdered" on her deck. — Sporting Times. A generous benefactor, living in the district of Wauganui, Now Zealand, has forwarded, through the London branch of the Bank of New South Wales, £500 to the National Lifeboat Institution, to establish a lifeboat on the Scotch coast. He requests that the lifeboat may be named the Peep-o'-

Dav, and the gift entered as from "A Scot Abroad." In the way of showing how colonistß travel it may be mentioned tbat tbe daughter of Dr Turner, now resident in Auckland, and aged about eight years, has already been seven times round the world. A proposal is on foot in Soutb Australia to fix tbe standard weight for good wheat at sixty-four pounds, and on all weighing less, one penny per lb should be allowed the buyer. A correspondent writes as follows : — From the Auckland papers I see Blondin has been invited to Kawau Island, the residence of Sir George Grey, but I do not recollect having read that Mr Johnston Dougall, the inventor of the flax stripper in common use throughoat tbe colony, was ever invited to dine with any ot the Auckland Superintendents. Just' so, how many of the famous inventors of the last century found themselves famous or received the reward of their exertions during life ? The real worker is seldom appreciated till his heart has ceased to beat, and not always then. " Perdition " is the preface to the following extraordinary aud candid advertisement in tbe columns of the Thames Advertiser: — "The proprietor of the Thames Exchange having expended all the funds of his firm in his endeavors to secure for tbis constituency the services of a statesman who would preserve the identity, direct the destiny, and uphold the dignity of the Thames, has sacked, his staff, and the gpaper will be discontinued. The free and enlightened electors of the Thames having chosen for their guardian the weak and isolated pigmy in preference to the potential giant, the camp follower instead of the commander-in-chief, the abject tool of the Wyndham-street clique in place of that clirue's master, deliberately elected five years of poverty stricken woe to five years of Weal, and rewarded unblushing vice with the highest honor in their power to bestow, we leave the Thames to the tender care of its Rowes, its Brodies, and its I M'llhones, its debasement, its ignorance, its misery, and depart for the ' Happy Land ' of Wanganui. — Ed. Thames Exchange." In advertising the approaching arriTal of the Rev. Charles Clark at Launeeston, some amusement appears to have been caused by the manner in which the billsticker did his work. The Cornwall Chronicle says : — Mr Smythe gave instructions for briefly announcing the advent of Mr Clark here. The bills merely bore the words ' Rev. Charles Clark,' leaving the rest to the intelligence, imagination, or inquiry of the passers by. These bills are not large enough to cover tbe full length portraits used for advertising the Baby I Benson troupe and the Marrionettes, [ and the billsticker contented himself I with placing them at the foot of those I very prominent figures. The result is a grand success. In Cameron-street, ! opposite the public buildingß, we have a gigantic clown in a scarlet costume, and cheeks of the same color, labelled as " Eev. Charles Clark." In Georgelane, off Patterson-street, a remarkably flash Donnybrook-Eair-looking son of the Emerald Isle, with shillelagh under the right arm and a sucking pig under the left, is honored with the dignified cognomen, " Rev. Charles Clark." This is the way an Eastern paper looks on the fashions : — They are getting tighter every day. Not that they are not pretty ; not at all that, you know. But really in about six weeks, at this rate, they will have to get one skirt made for each — each, well each limb, if they want to walk at all. And, ha ! who knows but that is the way they intend to attain pantaloons. Is there strategy here ? A Western politician wrote to another : " We need the means of organising the Democratic party of this place." The party written to at once telegraphed : " Will ship to-day one barrel of whiskey and an orator — invoice by mail." Mr Macan*drew, the Superintendent of O'ago, hns been an actor in a ludicrous incident thus narrated by the Otago raily Times'. — " We thought that all our Government oflicers, and especially tbe gentlemen connected with tho railway department, were acquainted officii! ly or by s ght with the Superintendent. It appears, however, that till yesterday tlure was one man on tbe staff of porters who had not seen his Honor. How wo come to discover the fuct was in this way; when the train stopped nt Sawyer's Bay, alias Glfndetmid, alias Glenfloffam, alias Tar Brush Flat, the collector came round for tickets, and on applying to his Honor for his • bit of pasteboard,' he was informed that it was ' all right.' The collector didn't see it in this light, and stated very properly that he must either see the pass, or the party would have to pay. The collector was again assured by a member of the Executive that it was • all right,' but, like a faithful servant, he was obdurate, and would not bo satisfied. At last a gentleman bin led that the suspected person was the Superintendent. It was, of course, thought that the statement would settle the matter, but the porter, with a knowing wink, exclaimed — 'You don't bave me that way ; there ain't six Superintendents on this train.' When he was at last convinced that ho stood in the presence of Mr James Macandrew, the real Superintendent, he retired crest-fallen, and was heard to mutter that he would make it warm for the other five gentlemen who had told the same thing, aqd got a ridq on I tho cheap." \