A QUACK IN COURT.

Nelson Evening Mail, Volume XI, Issue 14, 15 January 1876, Page 4

A QUACK IN COURT.

The, San Francisco News Letter, some time ago, instituted an inquiry into the antecedents of the various medical men in the city. "It was to be expected," says our contemporary, that we should have to encounter manifold libel tribulations when we made so thorough and effective a raid upon the numerous band of quacks, abortionists and who abound in our midst. The latest case was that of "Dr." Flattery v. Frederick Mar-riott^--bf the -News Letter, set for trial in tbe Police Court yesterday afternoon. ■■' Colonel Barnes, attorney ior tbe defendant, .moved to dismiss the complaint,, claiming that according to the definition of the term libel, in the Code, the publication in question would not come under that bead. Judge' Louderback held a different opinion/ as the article calls the complainant a quack. Dr. Flattery then mounted the stand . and presented a tattered, weather-stained piece of sheepskin,, the words on which, were nearly illegible, and announced that that was his diploma. He had been in possession pfit some twenty-five years,: and he read it for the edification of Colonel Barnes and the Court, and then confidently awaited the questioning which was to prove how basely and falsely he had been slandered in the article de-

Dominating him a quack. The question of Colonel Barnes elicited the statement, that,- in the spring of 1850, he had graduated from, the Gincipnati Eclectic Medical Institute.,- Upon this statement Colonel Barnes produced .a paper, which Flattery acknowledged to be in his writing,, stating in answer to inquiries by the News Letter •', that he had graduated from, the .Ohio Medical College. The paper was passed to Flattery, who, being suddenly attacked by nervousness, tore it in two. For this ill-titned exhibition of temper the Judge fined him 20 dols. The Doctor then explained that he had written the paper ;for the public purpose of humbugging "the slimy den/ as he styled the News Letter office. The doctor's memory was rather peculiar, though not inconvenient, for though he failed to remember the students in his claag, as also any work that he. had ever studied at college or anywhere else, he fortunately recollected having prepared a thesis on the subject of"Noorollergy." Colonel B.— " Noorollergy, " eh ? Now, Doctor, won't you please spell that word ? Faint mumbling from the Doctor. Col. B. — A little louder pleaße. (Mumbling again.) , Col. B.— -Now, Doctor, you have been storming away at me like a boatswain in a gale of wind, but when I ask you to spell this word, what with your indistinct voice and the caressing way in which you manipulate: your nose, I can't catch a sound. f Tbe Doctor (defiantly) — N-e-u-r-o-l---1-o-g-y. Col. B. — Good. Now, won't; you please tell what is " neurollogy ?" Doctor — Your Honor, I protest against such an examination, as it has nothiog.Jto do with the case. Col. B. — Now, Doctor, don't begin sparring at me. You know it is my painful duty, in this case, to remove all masks and show you up as an ignoramus. You, ought to take the right view of the matter. Will you tell us what is the popular meaning of the term caeadus ? Doctor— Don't know ; I never had a case. - Col, 8.-— Your medical experience has i been somewhat limited. Allow me to tell you that caeadus is the technical term for a comtnen boil. Now, Doctor, what . are the bones of the 1eg .?..., Doctor — The femur (pause). Col. B.— ls that all ? Doctor— l am not prepared to go into all the unimportant minutiae of anatomy in this case. It is frivolous and. unprofitable. The case was frequently interrupted by roars of laughter from the audience, in which were quite a number of medical gentlemen, and 1 even the gravity of his ' Honor was not entirely proof against the unparalleled ideas of the witness. Col. B.— Well, we have discovered some new. facts in surgery, let's take up medicine. What is materia medica ? Doctor — The materials of medicine. Col. B. — What is therapeutics,? Doctor— lt is a — a— part — part of materia medioa. Col. B — Yes ; what works have you read on materia medica ? Doctor — I don't remember, sir, I have not looked into a book for fifteen years. Col. B. — Been practising medicine all that time ? Doctor— l don't mean exactly that j I mean that I havn't studied them. Col. 8.-— Well, will you tell me what work the heart performs ? Doctor (ineffably sarcastic) — I presume, sir — I presume — that it aids you in living—^bat is, I prefsurne so. Col. B.— You do. Well, Doctor, what do you presume is the bone that terminates the spinal. column ? Doctor— The—a —l'm afraid I can't spell it ; the coccygem or coccyges. Col. B. (gravely) — The coccygem. Well, will you tell me, Doctor, it this oone is ever ossified .? Doctor— Yes, sir, in some cases. And - so the examination proceeded, the, witness exhibiting au ignorance of medical matters that a. .grammar-school pupil would be aehained of. Among other.Btßrtliog ideas advanced by him

were that the lungs are for breathing ; craniology and gynecholo^y are synonymous terms, meaning the science of the crane j and that the usual method for producing an abortion was by falling from a house-top. Colonel Barnes offered in evidence .catalogues of both institutions from which the witness claimed to have graduated—neither catalogue containing his name, either as graduate or student. ; With regard to the antiquated piece of parchment which the Doctor called his diploma, George C. Hickbx, an expert, examined it, and gave it as bis opinion that the date had been erased and re-writtten, and that the Professors' signatures were so similar that they were very probably executed by the same hand. Dr. Flattery admitted that he h»d tinkered it up a little, having gone over his own name with ink. It was patent to all that the fellow was an utter ignoramus, however authentic bis diploma might be, and the case was dismissed. Dr. Flattery was then called upon to pay bis fine,, but, being unable to procure it, he was locked tip until morning, when it was' forthcoming. ■