ODDS AND ENDS.

Nelson Evening Mail, Volume X, Issue 210, 21 August 1875, Page 2

ODDS AND ENDS.

i e f e ara, n<*?6wo' persons who cna walkiv^ogethdr i^ thfer 1 world without bo full are we* of inirperfectioQa. - y Singular Occurrence—A touriai on a steamer ofi the Noro had the misfortune to drop his valuable set of ! patent teeth into the Thames. An I :en|inent.dentist and practised jiwimmer, j wtio chanced to witness the mishap', at once jumped overboard, ond in a few aacondfy.pulledaUtk&teetkmtt of the mouth of the rivet ! ■■ "Mankind, 11 once said a Baptist preacher, '•onankiDd includes women, for man embraces woman," A lady,' well known in Paris society, lately cured her husband of stopping away from: home at nighty ■ She wrote him' ao anonymous letter to this effect s— " Coward ! We have heard what you said of the Commune and Republicans. We will not be inaujteU' % aucli a fellow as you/ And, though we are- ait work till night, be sure that when we meet you we will bo revenged. J^ong live the. Republic. —A. Workman." : The husband took no uotice of the letter to his wife, but he. is careful not to go out at nighis now, but remains at home, much to his wife's delight, who rejoices at the .success of her stratagem. So Stupid I—" My real number is sis, but my hand will bear squeezing," ;ts-, jwhat she said to a.young man at a glove counter. And the great thickheaded lunatic got her a pair of five and a«half gloves without finding out how much squeezing her hand would bear. We would have worked on that job all the summer, but she should have bad an exact fit. Some people.are so •stupid, .;;', Here is a curious American advertisement : • .; i : " Welcub, welcub, birthf ul sprig, Happy birds are dow o'd wig, Flittidg about frob tree to tree, Fillidg the air with belody." He nad a cold when he said it, but has ..since recovered, in consequence of a use of F. and J. P, Casein's Q. K. Plantation Whiskey. The agency is at 523, Front-street. A Reasonable Excuse.—-A Paris thief recently swallowed a big diamond. ,His plea^as thatithat U,wa3 the odly thing which would make an impression on the pane in his inside. Reflection bt a Cyhical PolitiCAN. —Darwin's theory is, that it takes ten thousand years for au ape to develope into a statesman.' A good many seem to have grown impatient and to have gone into public business too soon. A needy man applied to a wealthy person for help, and received the small sum of five cents. The giver remarked, as he handed him the pittance, " Take if, you are welcome ! our ears always open to the distressed." v That may be," replied the recipient, " but never in my life before have I seen so small an opening far such large ears." A Batfersea .dairyman (a home paper states) has been fined £5 ami cosfa for adulterating milk with 16 per cent of water, and ordered to pay 10s., the co6tof an advertisement announcing his offence. A very eeosible decision "Idiot!'* exclaimed a lady coining oufc of the theatre one evening as a gentleman accidently stepped oa her trailing ekire. "Which one of us ?" blandly responded the man. The Chinese pccasionly betray a fiendish ingenuity in their mode of committing capital crimes. A few days ago one of the native newspapers in Shanghai reported that the body of a woman bad been found: crucified on a shutter or doorway, floating in the river outside Wo'os'ung. : The head of .a man was attached to the waist of the woman's body, and both were taken to the district city of Paoshan. The circumstances of the crime have not beeu discovered, but it is coojectured that, the poor crucified wretch had been faithless, and that this revolting revenge had been taken by the injured husband and his friendsi-r-London Telegraph.