"LEAVE MY NAME OUT."

Nelson Evening Mail, Volume X, Issue 31, 5 February 1875, Page 4

"LEAVE MY NAME OUT."

{Hartjfrrd Post.) One of the bores of newspaperdom is the daily i procession of chaps who march into the editorial rooms, just after the adjournment of the police court, with the request, " PJeflse leave my name out of your police reports," and accompanying said request with explanations which prove that the fellowß are among the most gifted liars in the universe. It is useless to tell them that a certain wj»yi to prevent the dreaded publication is to behave themselves respectably — in (bey come right on time next morning with freshlyblackened eyes and battered hats, and with the same plaintive petition, or to ask that we falsify the police records as to the character of the oilence or penalty inflicted. This is becoming monotonous, and unless (here is an early change we shall 'eel it necessary to adopt the western style of corrections of which the following paragraphs are samples:— Correction. — The Mr Snoozer. arresr ted for being drunk in the streets, is not Mr Snoozer the fish pedlar. The latter gentleman gets drunk in his own house, believing that intoxication, like charity, begins at home. Not the man. — The name of Mr U No appeared in our police court yesterday, charged with stealing a baby waggon. This is not Mr U No, our well-known bridge tenderer. He wouldn't stoop to steal a baby waggon, though it wouldn't be safe to leave a circus chariot or a freight train lying around where he could get his hands on it. Amende Honorable — Our local columns yesterday contained an account of the elopement of a guy Lothario of this town natnad Stiggins, with the wife of a well-to-do farmer in a neighboring country. And now comes Stiggins, the plasterer, to say it isn't him. Stiggins' wife is sitting in a buggy in front of our office, and, after a cursory glance at her, we are prepared to say that we wouldn't blame Stiggins if ho did run away. She must be a living and constant provocation to skeddadle. All right, Stipg ; it is another man tin's time, but if you get a chance to elope with a good-looking woman our advice is to "git." Give the Devil His Due. — Pluguglie, who runs a saloon on the towpath, called this morning to say that be \b not the Plugugiie who beat and robbed a countryman at a late hour on Wednesday night. We are bound to believe him, but at the same time we must say that we wouldn't like to encounter this particular Pluguglie uloae at a late hour of the night with any valuables about us. If robbery, murder, and Buddeu death are not written on his countenance, we don't want a cent.