FAMILY LETTER WRITING.

Nelson Evening Mail, Volume IX, Issue 163, 11 July 1874, Page 2

FAMILY LETTER WRITING.

(Danbury Ntws. ) The Family Letter ia written on Sundays. The reason that day is selected is not alone because ■of the leisure it presents. The hour being selected for inditing the letter, the first thin^ is to find tho paper. There ia alwaya a drawer in every well-regulated family for keeping such things. It is either iv the table or stand. Here the writing paper, aud odd screws, and fiddle-strings, aud broken locks, and fish lines, and grocery receipts are kept. There may bo other things, but, if there, ho will see them. The sheet of paper is finally found, the fly-stains neatly scraped off, and tho search commences for the ink and pen. The former is invariably fojnd oa the mantel next the clock, and is immediately laid on the table convenient to the perspiring man, who sarcastically inquires if the letter ia to written to-day or next Sunday. This inspires tho wife with new zeal in the search. She goes over the drawers again because she knows he wouldn't see anything if it was right under his

nose, but the pen i 3 not there. After she hss done this she she starts up aud pretty soon returns with the pen, and takes it <o the sink to wash tho grease from it, btit does not succeed iv quite effacin-g-the delicate scent of bergamot. This loads him to observe that anyone who takes a {enholder to lift hair grease from a bottle is too pure and innocent for this world. Everything now in readiness, good humor restored, the wife takes a seat oppo3ita with her elbows on thß table, and har chin iv her hand and assumes an expression of counter-auce that is mysteriously calculated to both encourage and depress the writer; and he grasps the pen tightly between bis fingers aud stares at the paper with an intensity that is entirely unnecessary. The date line starts off glibly, and then suddenly ceases as it reaches the date itself. He puts the holder in his mouth and immediately spits it out again, making up a face that is no wise suggestive of bergamot, nnd pettishly asks her if shekoows the day of the month. Of course she does, it is the 13th— or it is the — but no— it must be. She hesitates, stares at. him, wavers, and is lost. She doesn't know whether it is the 13th or ISth, but tbe almanack will tell, and sha at once slarts to hunt it np. This occasions a delay of 15 minutes, during which he makes 95 passes at one fly. The date having been satisfactorily settled upon, and the things which rolled over tho floor ns the stand drawer and contents unexpectedly fell out having been restored to their place, the date line is completed, and " Diar Mother " siarted. The pen ia a home pen, of bashlul mould, and whenever it starts a line it requires half a dozen passes to make it give down. All home pens do this. And all home sheets of paper have weak spots which the ink refuses to cross, thus creating some remarkable divisiou of words and considerable confusion among sentences. Some of those spo!3 are 2iu in diameter and anybody in the next room can tell the moment the writer comes to them juat as well as if he was looking over his shoulder, When the letter is completed, which generally occurs at the end of the fifth hour from the commencement, it is carefully read over aod supplied with absent words, and then pone over again and artistically touched up with the pen at the bare places. Then it is folded up ready for tha envelope, and the discovery is made that there is no envelope iv the house, and the letter is tucked iv behind the clock until tho want is supplied.