THE WEEK.

Nelson Evening Mail, Volume IX, Issue 122, 23 May 1874, Page 2

THE WEEK.

If it were not for the Provincial Council I scarcely know what we should do for something to talk about in Nelv son just now, but, as it is, there is a plentiful theme for conversation in the sayings and doings of our representatives. Responsible Governmeut is the great cry now, Responsible Government is to clear away the clouds tbat are hanging so thickly over our heads, and to bathe the whole province in the sunlight of prosperity, Responsible Government is to fill the provincial chest, Responsible Government is to , make roads and bridges; only give us Responsible Government nnd for ever after we shall be a happy, contented, and prosperous people. Most earnestly do I hope that all these anticipations will be realised, but my fears are greater tban my hopes, and I am very much afraid that this time twelve-months' we shall be no better off than we are now unless, for tbe broken reed upon which some of us are disposed to rest a stouter and more reliable staff is substituted. Let us get our loan and there is some chance for us whether tbe proposed Bill be passed or not, but without some such extraneous aid no amount of legislation in the direction of throwing open the seats in the Executive to the highest bidder for popularity will ever avail us much. I am a little at a loss to know how Responsible Government is going to act, and somewhat anxious to see the effect of carrying the measure now before the Council, for I anticipate some rather funny results. I shall startle some of my readers by making such an assertion, but I fully expect to find that the stability of a Provincial Ministry will occasionally be affected by the weather, and that a heavy fall of rain and a booming flood in some of the rivers may bring about a change in tbe Government. lam led to this conclusion by the fact that a large amount of discontent and indignation is felt at Charleston just now because there is no sum placed on the Estimates for the reconstruction of the Nile bridge, which I believe is of great importance to the ' district. Now bad it not been for tho heavy fall of rain that occurred some weeks ago that bridge would still have been standing, and tbe people would not have had occasion to anathematise the Government as they now are doiDg. We are told plainly and distinctly that tbe Executive fully recognise the importance of the work, and would willingly undertake tha execution of it, but that the funds are not forthcoming. Still the discontent prevails and has imparted itself, very rightly so perhaps, to the representative of the district who never loses an opportunity of attacking those wbo sit on the Government benches. With such a warniug before him I can readily imagine any gentleman who holds office under the new Act rising from his bed every morning with nervous trepidation and timidly tapping his barometer to ascertain tbe tendency of the mercury. Should it display signs of falling rapidly and in earnest, his appetite for breakfast will be completely gone as he thinks to himself tbat an unusually heavy downpour of rain may result in the loss of his three or four hundred a year, for bridges in various electoral districts may be swept away, and the representatives of those districts will assemble with black looks and threatening words, if money, which is not in the treasury, is not proposed to be spent upon restoring tbe interrupted communication. TJuder such circumstances responsible government assumes a somewhat complicated aspect. The telegraphic column of a newspaper is, I believe, the first portion of it that is glanced at by the reader, because he naturally supposes that therein be will find nothing but what is important, seeing that the various items of intelligence have all to be paid for at so much a word. Such, at least, is my habit, but I am occasionally very much disappointed. For instance, some two or three days ago I came across a telegram from Napier stating tbat it had been raining for a couple of days, that the rivers had been a little flooded, and that a bridge with an unpronounceable name had been slightly damaged. I daresay this might have possessed some little interest for residents in the immediate neighborhood, but why it should have been flashed along the wires at the expense of newspap.r proprietors it is difficult to say. In looking over their exchanges subeditors would probably not have deemed the notice of such an occurrence worthy of scissors and paste, and yet j it is considered of sufficient importance to find a place among the telegrams of the day. As a bachelor— -for I confess to being a member of that persuasion — I ought perhaps to express my indignation at the course adopted by the Provincial Council of Auckland in taxing single men for educational purposes, but really I cannot work myself up into a temper on the subject, simply because I think that the Council was right, and that Auckland has set an example which should be followed by the whole colony. Because some of us choose to refrain from making an equal number of women unhappy by linking ourselves to them for life, tbat is no reason why we should not bear our share of the expense necessary for promoting the well being of the country. Our Councillors want to get hold of more money for the various purposes for

which they are called upon to vote it, so what if they were to take a leaf out of Auckland's book ? They might do worse too tban direct their attention to the method pursued in that province of regulating the household tax.

The Neio Zealand Herald says that a stone-breaking machine is now at work at the Newmarket quarries, in the interest of the Messrs Brogdcn, for crushing ballast for the railway line. It is worked by a small moveable steam engine, of the class known as agricultural engines, and crushes up the large blocks of hard stone with as much ease as an eggshell by a spoon. At Tokomairiro, in Otago, three bakerß have been convicted under the Bakers and Millers Act, 1871, of having ammonia, tartaric acid, and cream of tartar in their bakehouses. A eerious mishap recently occurred at the Dunedin gasworks. A large section of the internal tank collapsed, carrying away the inlet and outlet pipes, and the immense rush of water caused the lifts of the holder to buckle inwards to a fearful extent. The Provincial Engineer of Otago estimates that the prevailing high rateß in the labor market caused an increase of from 20 to 50 per cent in the cost of all works executed by the province during fhe past financial year. The City of Wellington just now is the temporary abode of all the distinguished ecclesiastical and judicial magnates of tbe colony. The bishops, deans, archdeacons, and many of the Church of Euglaud clergy, have arrived to take part in the General Synod, and three judges of the Supreme Court and their secretaries, have arrived for the half-yearly sittiDg of tho Court ot Appeal. A man named Michael Lyell, the chief boatman at Napier, was killed on Monday last by being crushed betwee. the steamers Paterson and Pretty Jane. Deceased and another man, who was hurt but not seriously, were in the pilot boat at the time. We clip tho following from the New Zealand Herald: — "In a new country it is only to be expected that new arrivuls will occasionally find it necessary to strike out new lines of occupations for themselves. Tbe trailes many of them have been brought up to at home will not in all cases serve them in the colonies, hence the necessity for seeking after other means of 'keeping the wolf from the door.' Such a case has been brought under our notice. One of the worthies arrived per Dorette, fancying tbat his wits would be likely to serve him in a better stead than his labor as "orny 'anded son of toil,' essayed a trial of them on Monday evening, "at a very well-known hostelery, not far from Queen-street. From the bar ho adjourned to the bar-parlor, aod there strikiog. up an acquaintonce with a lounger, they commenced playing 'poker.' In the course of an hour, the * colonial' havin" occasion to tot up bis accounts, foun 1 his balance on the wrong side to the amount of between £4 and £5, a fact which appeared to annoy him excessively, but lo save any discussion on the matter, the 'new-chum' first pocketed his winnings, and remarking, by way of good evening, that if he could only find a few such exceedingly good-natured fools, he didn't think he'd have to work many hours in tbis couutry, retired, whistling in good tune, 'To better my fortune I crossed the wido sea, &c.' Men who will carve out their fortunes for themselves, and do anything rather than 'loaf about the streets, are the class of immigrants we are greatly in need of. This fact cannot be too often impressed upon the home immigration department." A few days ago (says "Simon" in the Weekly Times) an acquaintance of mice, whom I Bhall call Tom, heard of the death of an old friend of his and mine, and was very much cut up about it. So much so that he was more than once obliged to resort to stimulants, the sale of which is very properly prohibited on the Sabbath. However, he determined to attend the funeral, and whilst hunting up thesuits and trappings of his woe was frequently heard to exclaim, " Poor Old Jack! many a rum night we spent together, and many n soda and brandy we divided in the morning 1" What between grief and that which is erroneously supposed to smother it, he had some mishaps over his toilet, and more than one shirtbutton fell, like Robert Burn's favorite snow-flake, a moment white, then lost for ever Consequently the mourner was a little late, and by the time he arrived at the house from which the remains were to be removed he found that the cortege had started aboat half an hour previously; but Jack's friend was not one to stick at a trifle, and, hailing a hansom he fell into it, crying •' Make haste! Catch up the funeral before it reaches the cemetery, and I'll pay you double fare." Jehu let out at the quadruped, aud in a few minutes picked up a procession moviog slowly to the place indicated. In due time Tom alighted, and staggered in under the pall to the evident astonishment of the other bearers. Perceiving this, he half apologetically whispered to a severe-looking gentleman by his side, " There's no one of you knew him and loved him as well as I did. Many a rum night we spent together, and many j a soda and braudy we divided in the I morning." " I think you are mistaken I s:V," said the gentleman referred to, "we are burying an esteemed brother of the ancient order of Rechabites — a teetotaller of thiry-five years standing " Whew?" replied Tom, "I'm blessed

if I didn't follow, (he wrong funeral afier all!" Moral— To gush appropriately, first catch your corpse. Courts of the law hove often been called on to interfere in strange cases but the idea of n Court being applied to for ao injunction to stop people praying is rather novel. It hns, however, been done in America duriug tbe present feminine cruaade against liquor sellers. The fair teetotallers carry on operations as follows: — They erect a tent opposite the door of a liquor shop and take it in turns to stand outside praying and exhorting. They put down the names of all who enter, and at Inst of course the customers fall off, until at length the liquor dealer gives in; the ladies then enter his house, sing and pray, and take their departure. Ooe liquor seller, however, objecte, to be thus operated ou, and applied ° the Supreme Court for protection. His name was Dunu, and he served eightythree ladies, who occupied the tabernacle opposite his store, with the following injunction, which they obeyed:—." This is to commoudyou and said above-named defendant*?, each and all of you, to desist from using for praying, singing, exhorting, or any other purpose a certain plank and canvas structure or shunty erected on High street, Hillsboro, or in front of the drug store of the said W. H. H. Dunn. And it is further ordered that you said defendants, are ordered to remove the said structure or shanty forthwith, and expand every part ofthe sume, whether plank or canvas; and you a™ each and all hereby restrained and enjoined from re-erecting or replacing the said structure, or any similar structure, in said locality or upon eaid street, to the annoyance of said W. H. H. Dunn. And it is further ordered that you are hereby enjoined and restrained from singing, praying, exhorting, or making a noise, and disturbance, in front of said drug store of VV. H. H. Dunn, or on tho sidewalk or on the steps thereof, or in the vicinity thereof, to his annoyance, or from trespassing in or upon his said premises, or in any manner interrupting his said business, and .his you will in nowise omit, under the penalty of the law." The Hawse's Bay Telegraph gives the following:-— "As an instance of how profitable it may be to boil down fat sheep, we may mention that a hundred longwoola were sent by Mr F. N.lbou to the boiling-down establishment of Mr B. P. Williams, at Clive. These sheep produced upwards of three tons of tallow, their pelts beiog worth 3s each. Beckoning the tallow at the low price of £30 per ton, to allow for the expenses, the total value of the produce would equal £60, and the pelts £15, making the net proGt somewhere about 21s per head. The Melbourne Argus says that at no period in the entire experience of Victorian mining bas that interest been so much or for so long depressed. It is not as though one district was suffering from special or exceptional dulnees, but on every side there i_ the same melancholy stagnation of markets and of enterprise.