THE WEEK.

Nelson Evening Mail, Volume IX, Issue 104, 2 May 1874, Page 2

THE WEEK.

Someone appears to havo been telegraphing a strange Btory to Wellington in connection with the late fire in Bridge-street, the substance of which, says the Evening Post, was that " the firo was fortunately arrested by a brick wall, after all the efforts of the Fire Brigades to extinguish it had failed." There is nothing like a lively imagination. It twists aud distorts facts and places them before the mind's eye exactly asyou wish tium toappear instead of as they really are, and the result is often a most pleasing delusion which would be still more so if it would only last. But how anybody could possibly bring himself to believe, or try io induce others to believe that Neison wns indebted to a brick wall tbe other day for its salvation from an extensive fire it is not easy to see. Still this telegrapher extraordinary has somewhat of a claim upon our gratitude for suggesting a nice little theme for a discussion in the City Council. If a brick wall did not urrest the progress of the fire why did it uot ? Anyone who visited the spot the next day could easily see the reason. Tho brick wall was uot there, at least not such an one as there should have beeo. The bricks ran up to the eaves but no higher, and the roof of the larger building that was destroyed was quite open to an attack by the flames. Had the dividing wall been carried as high as, or a little higher than, the ridge board, the probability is that the proprietor of the establishment would be still disposing of his goods there instea.i of being compelled to offer salvage stock for sale elsewhere. It will be well then for the City Council to profit by past experience, and to insist that in future all newly-erected buildings in the town should be separated from their neighbors by a fire-proof wall of sufficient height. It is not elwnys ensy t-> extract a moral from a falsehood, but. tbis I have done and I make a present of it to the newly-elected Mayor and Town Councillors. How dearly these Perseverance Company's shareholders appear to love one another. Some of them wnnt to put up the shutters and others to keep them down, aud bo they amuse themselves by firing off ink hubbies at each other in a manner that is most amusing to the on-lookers, especially those who h«ve nofc the privilege of looking forward to the receipt of the dividends that the mine was to yield. If the non-contents are in a majority and are really in earnest, why don't they pull together and determine to put a slop to the woiks; if not, would it not be more graceful in the minority to submit, and to bear their burden as cheerfully os possible in tho face of periodical oalla. From what I hear outside I think that those of the public, that is. more than nine- tenths of the nadera of the newspapeis are getting awfully tired of the ill-tempered letters that appear every now and then ond would like to see the wriiets' hands or heads underneath the stampers when tbe battery was in full svviDg. If anyone of them bas anything really practical to suggest let him do so by all means, but if .not let him remember that the general public don't care twopence whether he has to pay up another pound or two or not. I wonder what would be the effect of the proprietors of newspapers determining to charge for all letters similar to those that have recently appeared, at ordinary advertising rates. Nelson folks do like a race m eting. Possibly, when they arrive on the course, their minds revert to the days gone by when Nelson meetings occupied the premier position among such events in the colony, when the finest horses in tho southern hemisphere used to make their debut here and proceeded thence to other provinces aud other colonies fo assert their superiority over everything that could be brought to meet them. It is not pleasant to reflect that now, if we want to see a good horse, it must be brought here from elsewhere, but so it is. Still, however, we are right glad to sco them, and a really good race excites the same enthusiasm that it did in the days of yore. This was plainly evidenced at tbe late meeting tho last that wiil ever be held on the course which can boast of being the first to test the qualities of such animals as Waimea, Zoe, Potentate, Zingnra, and old Strop, tbe latter of which died an honorable death on a Melbourne race course, where he fell dead at the winning post at the termination of a magnificeut race. It is the last time, I say, that Nelson people will assemble on the old course, for everything now gives way to the iron horse, and ere long tbe railway will bisect the field where so many splendid contests have taken place. My mind has been much exercised of late on the subject of making money, and n gleam of light has at last dawned upon me which I hope may eventually lead me into tbe bright sunshine of wealth. My idea, which as yet is but very crude and has scarcely taken shape or form, is to get up a Company to be called The Licensed Victuallers' Matrimonial Association (LimiteJ), capital so much, in so many shares ot so much each. The requisite outlay would not be very large, but tbe profits might be enormous. I like to trace all my ideas back to the source from which tbey Bpring, so I might as well mention that this one suggested itself to my mind after listening to what occurred in the Licensing Court in Nelson, and

reading what took place on a similar occasion in Dunedin. In Neleon ono of the Coramisiotiera was very warm on the eurjecfc of compelling single women or widows applying for licenses to keep a strong able bodied man on the promisee. It did uot matter whether their houses had or had not been kept hitherto in an orderly manner. It was his couviction that there ought to be a man there, snd so every fair applicant was cross-questioned as to whether she bad one in her establishment or not. At Dunedin the argument was the other way about. Mr Bathgnte, who has made a name for himself throughout New Zealand, and I whose opinions therefore aro entitled to respect, has laid down the rule that no | man Bbnll have a license unless he has a woman in the house. Now, the objact of my Association (limited) will be to bring together theso men whom Mr Bathgate distrusts because they have not a woman to look after them, and the women of whose ability to lake care of themselves the Nelson Commissioner is exceedingly doubtful. All the capital needed would be just so much as would cover the expenses of advertising, aod of sending missionaries into other provinces whose duty it would be to convert the local Licencing Commissioners to the same opinions as those entertained by the Nelson and Dunedin Courts. So a lot of bachelors and widowers, and spinsters and widows would be driven to their wits' end to obtniu a living. Wo would charge a small fee for registering their applications for husbands or wives, or " matrons " or " strong able bodied nien " — such are the terms made usa of by the Commissioners — aud when the necessary arrangements are concluded iv a satisfactory manner, it would be a part of their bargain to pay to our Company a ce/tain percentage upon the profits made by them, and which could not have been realised, because no licenses would have been granted, had we not stepped in and humored the Commissioners by assisting them in carrying out their notions of public-house proprieiy. If the Nelson and Dunedin Commissioners adhere to j thoir peculinr notions, and if those in the other provinces can be persuaded I to do the same, lots of respectable men , arxd women will be driven per force iuto | the matrimonial fold that we shall prepare for then), and plenty of marriages and engagements will bo entered into whioh will probably end in lifelong misery to those chit fly interestod, but, that does not roatier; my Compauy wiil make money, and the consciences of the Commissioners will henceforth be at ease, for in tbe houses which have hitherto been conducted respectably and quietly, no sound of an oljactionable character will ever be heard except tbat of the bickerings of stout able bodied men and matrons who, though far better apart, have through the agency of conscientious Commissioners been bound together by iodissolublo though galling ties This wonld be an outcome of the new Licensing Act tbat had never been anticipated. F.