FASHIONABLE SCREWS.

Nelson Evening Mail, Volume VII, Issue 216, 10 September 1872, Page 4

FASHIONABLE SCREWS.

0 — Under, this heading a Saturday Reviewer discourses as follows on charitable bazaars. From the vein of bitter satire that/runs through his remarks we eheuld imagine that he had just returned, with empty purse from one of the gay scenes he vividly pictures, having, when there, been induced against his better judgement by the young or pretty ladies of whom he speaks to lay out his spare cash in the purchase of a lot of absolutely worthless things." He goodtemperedly delivers himself: — Perhaps a charitable bazaar is the most objectionable of all the screws in use, because giving the most trouble to the laigest number of persons, and loading the conscience of every one concerned with a variety of burdens, any one of which we should imagine unendurably painful to the. sensitive. In the first place there has been called into existence, at great pains and cost, a lot of absolutely worthless thiDgs; pincushions that will not hold pins; penwipers, the beads or fluffy ends of which get into the slit of the pen; smoking-capa of violent? patterns, that cannot possibly fit any head bigger than a turnip, or else so large that they would do for Gargantua himself; dauby " art," the best destination of which would be to light the kitchen fire; bead ornaments that no woman who respected herself would wear, and that are fit only for savages; and various articles for gentlemen's use, such as "shaving tidies' and the like,; which are enough to send any man mad who has them in his possession. The name of the trumpery, absolutely useless and absurd, paid for at fabulous prices, and bought under a pressure thai is a little better than a polite method of swindling, is legion; but the object, whatever it may be, for which the bazaar has been got up, is assumed to justify the means; and to supply the poor dear natives of equatorial Africa with tracts and blankets is a cause so holy that it covers a thousand sins against common sense good taste, and the first principles of irade'and honesty. On the other hand, a bazaar gives a certain amount of pleasure to a certain set of people. There are, first, the ladies holding the stalls. They have for one excitement that of dress, with its concomitant, admiration; for another the till. If they are young or pretty, or of exceptionally high position, their counter is thronged, and they are complimented and stared at to satiety. They make merchandise of their smiles, and drive a roaring trade in their cartes-de-visite and autographs, with miserable little coat bouquets made up and fastened in by their own hands, and sold at prices more like the current rates of El Dorado than of. London ; so that their •< take " soon swells beyond their neighbours' and rivals', and with it their enjoyment of their friends' annoyance and their own glory, and of the, days doings, altogether. For among the reasons against philanthropic bazaars must be counted the malice, hatred, and all uncharitablenens which they engender among the ladies who hold the stalls, and the- unchristian sentiments cherished by each fashionable boutiguiere i according to her own comparative failure ,and the success of her friends. That does not prevent a certain amount of personal pleasure, however, even in the. least, successful; of which perhaps the greater part has been anticipatory, though something is due to association, and to the glory of having one's name printed on rose-tinted circulars at the tail of a dozen peeresses, with Her Gracious Majesty or His Royal Highness to head the: ruck. It gives pleasure too to the crowd of moneyed snobs who think it well worth the cost to stand at one side of a deal plank laid on tressels and covered .with pink calico, chaffering for cigar-cases and worsted work, with the Countess of this or the Duchess of that- condescending for the moment to be shopkeepers, and not Above C : the, less reputable arts: of-their-prototypes.,,. And it gives. ...pleasure, to young girls whio have tfd money of their own, and consequently are not expected ia buy^and for.^whom things are: bought ■;'oy the gentlemen, or^he^kindrvbld aunties the .party. ,The carpenters ,^and.,^ con-,, fectiouers employed ''a|Bb v get'..their'gaiii.ou't' the affair: ; and the microscopic «« a timulua 1 to trade,? represented by so /many yards of material arid so; many -reels /•of,' thread as have been used in thei rubbish out, muskbe take*fc#So#acobun mains behind but vanity and vexation of jjpirit,t

A Photogbapher in a country town was recently visited by a youag woman, who, with sweet simplicity, asked, " How long does it take to get your portraits' afjer you have left your measure." A Rich Upstart asked a poor perse® if he had any idea of the advantages arising from riches. " I believe they give ! a rogue an advantage over an Bonest man," was the answer. Thehe is an hotel in San Francisr.o under the sole management of the fair B8:c. From the proprietress to the hall girl* froto the bar tender to the boot-black, all connected with the establishment are women. : The portresses are muscular Germans,, whohandle the most mammoth " Saratogas"" deftly and easily, while the clerk is a handsome brunette who parts her short | black ringlets on one side, and -makes bright repartees to the jokes of ibeV drummers .and salesmen who largely fir equent the house. The' bar 'tender can make. a cocktail quicker and better than an y other in the State, and drinks b'erself eve ry, time she is asked , to, wbfob on an aye rage is about fifty times day* -.