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Nelson Evening Mail, Volume VII, Issue 164, 11 July 1872, Page 4

&122Y — Wby, Jule, I thought you know Jule — Psha ! when did you learn to think ? You're always test when you don't think. Gizzy — I thought as he's Premier 1 Jule — Premier be ahower-bath'd ! He's not the real cabby, he's only the buck, the waterman — do you twig, Gizzy ? Gizzy — Ah! ha! ha! yes, capital, By-tbe-bye, that puts me iu mind — once when I was giving " The Ladies " ' Jule — Don't be ridiculous, Gizzy. Do your duty like a good old despatch-box as you are : put. Bill into it, and fetch him up here — and his draft, ha !ha I—l1 — I keep no lemonade here, tell him. Gizzy — I am glad you can appreciate my special talent. [Exit. Jule (solus)— That cove's getting quite saucy. Surely it's not true Donuld's going to throw us overboard and take Old Envelope to keep his Maori sale- books lor him ? I must have an eye to the tmnn chance. They're always cheek by jowl in and out of each other's rooms. But here comes the other — my boss, ba! ha! ha! Enter Permissive Bill and Gizzy. Ha ! Bill, how are you to-day ? How does the analysed lemonade agreo with you ? Plenty of strychnine in it, eh ? Bill— Don't mention it ! No,I drink nothing but. filtered water and cold mameka tea now. Fine tonic manuka! All the Plymouth brothers drink it. Jule — Is it now ? I thought it was fine firewood. Who mixes it ? Brown make your tea or a Plymouth sister ? New idea ; catch the Eechabites — duty on manuka scrub. (Aside.) Well, what's the news of Donald ? Bill — Oh ! Bowen's done pheasantshooting in the Waikato, so they'll both be homo directly. Jule — Nice mess he's made 'of it. Here'il be a fine job, to make old Michael and George mouth it out, ore roticndo, " but finding it would more surely contribute to the blessings of Peace that I should not this time intrude upon the domestic privacy* of my dear friend, his Majesty Tawhiao the First, I reluctantly refrained from further urging my request to be allowed — if only long enough to be able to say so — to bask in the sunshine of his royal presence, and to partake of some courtly rotten corn with him on a triangular mat, with the amiable and much calumniated Te Kooti" — That's Dot it. exactly — how shall we round it off, Bill ? Don't you try, Gizzy — hold your tongue directly — you'll make it dismal — I shall have the nightmare, and think that I'm eating a curried Scotch hotch-potch of incog Governor and recog cannibal — ugh — fancy missionary's eyes and V.R. buttons, with a flavoring reminiscence of ears cut off a la Grecquel Don't make such a face, Gizzy, you'll give me the gout ! Seriously, Bill, that paragraph '11 want gome cooking. Bill — I'ts all very well ; let Donald write that part himself — he got the door slammed in their faces. But, my dear , Bird, what are you going to say about the Yankee tea-kettles ? Jule — It's awkward. Bill — And the Senator that said they weren't fit for any water on God's earth. Sharp that, eh, Bird ? Jule— lt's very awkward. : .Bill — And the nitro-glycerine, and take 'em - out and sink 'em, eh, Bird ? Jule — It's one of the awkwardest things '• Bill — And Francis '11 see them blowed up first before he'll have 'em at Melbourne, eh, ambassador ? Jule — Well, I think I can do a little "side-wheel" work there you know. "It must be, however, a great matter of congratulation to this young and progressive Colony, that, having now the whole burthen and responsibility of maintaining the mail service with the United States, it will also gain all the honor attached thereto, and stands on the proud vantage ground of being enabled to dictate its own terms to the sister colonies of Australia. The service, initiated in so healthy a manner " Gizzy — That won't do! you forget the petite verole, as Ding-dong Bell would sayJule — Ah ! well, " with such marked success " Bill — Worse and worse ! even Michael and George couldn't have the face to say that! Jule — Well — drop that sentence then — I'll begin again. " This service may fairly befitted" Bill, GizzY—Oh ! Oh ! too had ! Jule — What's the matter ? Bill — The matter is it. No. that ■won't do at all. We must get Beeves to •write that part : he does write so nicely in the Lyttelton Times, he gets quite lymphatic over it(Knocking at the door.) Jule— See who it is, Gizzy ! Gizzy (looking out cautiously) — Ormond with his new China set ,!;'.'- Jule— rThrow it down sto irs and him after it! /

Gizzy — Brogden, with his "crown-a---day " and t; ten-hour " men ! Jule— Tell liim he'll have to feed 'cm. There'll be a 'ruction directly they hear what waees and time are here — or t!;e men here'il mob 'tun — iuul oh, go aw*y ! eend 'era away — there's only those ilnuuy bobbies ol Moule'a to keep 'em dowu — we shall all have an indigestion, and no time for a quiet game of loo — oh, dear ! — Bill, tell 'era to send me a biy; bottle of Moet as you pass Bellamy's — oh, dear ! Exeunt omnes.