THE SWEEL AND THE COBBLER.

Nelson Evening Mail, Volume VII, Issue 131, 3 June 1872, Page 4

THE SWEEL AND THE COBBLER.

▲ TALK OF THB TIMES. - ' * I. c .~ A cobbler there was, and he lived in a stall, And he worked like a brick at his lapitone and awl, ■ , And he paid all his taxes and rates and all that, And he drove a good trade with his rat-a-tat-tat. n. Bat the cobbler grew bumptious, his gains grew so fast, And hie ends went a far sight ahead of his last, And bis "uppers" got damaged, and then he began , To think himse'f made for a Parliament man. m. , , So he gave up the bench and he took to the ..stomp, And he spouted and spouted away like a pump, And some, new things he preached, and some ' '" things that were true, ' * But the new things weren't true, and the true things weren't new. iv. ' ..-■•,, And he said like Niggers, we're worked to the bone, And all for the good of the Peers and the throne; We've stood "it so long, and its time to advance, , like the glorious Sons of Republican -France. v. "There's slavery here, and equality there, * : But we'll have all in common, and each have bis share, Only make me M.P., and your wrongs I'll : „ redress, . We'll have houses for nothing, ahd gardens for : "'' less." IV. . -„ And the working men stared at the things they had neard, And 'some of them hiss'd .him, and some of them ' cheer'dj ' But to make him M.P. for redressing of wrongs, They'd have him at no price, nor touch him with tongs. vn. Then a baronet swell (but among the small swells; he Represented the Radical bunshops of Chelsea]) Said, "I ain't of much 'count 'mid these highbred curmudgeons, But I'd be a big fish if I swam among gudgeons." vm. So he went to the cobbler, and said, "Brother Snob, Let you and me tackle this Socialist job ; We'll fly at high game, and make out a good case, And it you'll do the treble dodge, I'll do the base." IX. So the swell in broad cloth, and the cobbler in leather, One fine day to Sunderland .trudged off together ; Which was which, from their clothes you could easily tell, But the cobbler looked more like a man than the , swell. x. And together tbej'd dine, and together they'd sup, And they slept in one bed, and they drank from one cup, And they walk'd hand in hand, just like brother and brother ; But each thought but very small beer of the other. XL And the bell-man went round, and the people all came (As they will if a handle you've got to your name); And the swell clear'd his wind-pipe, and made an oration, . On the cost of the Crown, and the wrongs of the nation. XX. And he said (could assurance d'ye think go much higher?) That the Queen was- a swindler, a cheat, and a liar ; " She said she'd pay income-tax like me and yon, But from that time to this she's not paid up a soul"""'" " " . •' xm. Now this in plain English was just a big lie, And he'll bear more about it, you'll see bye . and. bye. But if he believed it— and here's the disgrace, Why didn't the beggar speak out in his place? xiv. . If he'd been but a man, as he is but a cad, He'd have said- "Mr.' Speaker, l've heard something bad, And for me, I beHeve.it, b#t just let me ax, Is it true that the Queen never pays income-tax." xv. And then Billy. Gladstone, with that awful frown , „,'. on him, —And old white-headed Bob, would have quickly been down on him, And the libeller soon would have slunk to the door, . And bisyelp would have never; been hegrt any more. " "' *vi. And now old John Bull, tell us. what's to be done, man, .' With' into i( yery obnoxious andbpld Chelsea banman. ; . - And wuat withJhis/'.p*! ? " Have you nothing in jßG&son For two wqliaj_pli|ttea,pf jlander and treason ? '. '': ''. ,'' : ' U ' '"■'■■.'. .'.■■-'' i ' vr; Well, as for the cobbler, we'll let him alonePoor devili he's^pDody^foebuthis x>wn. Oifly Winn (J «ou|ite^theistump, ' lt '- 1 . '''^punapV- •'■'*';' s -" ;i „'.•'■"• .-.v.-M ;■■*') - ! w. ■''"-'■. TT*-' \ ■,:. : , ... ' A .X: ;!• .■''..(.■:JEWnt.'.*..'i. ■':''! i '•'" *• ..'■••■■ .■•', ■ yAM, ir ftr> ; jibe%tl[^^* -»^.:^^|pft has '■".•>'>i J7''gr6wri^to_i^7-'''';. ■;' ".'".'' A:\X- A : ,' .'],-:"^,iX '- vsftWhywelwell can afford just t©;tet'hlri'aldi\e, too. Xo'j^ieutt' bjirt^.i^^^^ ? maW P)w*»\ <*m

A.Tbaseb ?ob Teacher. — Governess : "Q.-r^-Tes ! \ Ujjjeil, wtisi's the next letter;? f ; Charlie : "Ye nex' letter ? " .Governess ; " Yes ! Come, ..make haste and tell me." ■ Charlie: "6q teWme'l. Oo tqnivhere to teach me, me not here to teach oo I " Negro Condescension. —American militia officers do not appear to rank very high in the. State, and seem sometimes to get broad hints of it to their very faces. "Cuff," said one of these dignitaries to a negro at his side, as he prepared to swallow his seventh tumbler," Cuff, you are a good, honest fellow, and I like to compliment a man wot's led an honest life, even if he is a black — you shall take a glass of something to drink with me, Cuff." " Well, Captain," says Cuff, wiping his mouth with his coat sleeve, "I'm berry dry, so I won't be ugly 'bout it. Some niggers is too proud to drink with a miilishy ossifer — but I tink a miilishy ossifer — when he's sober-r— is. jis' as good as a nigger- lespecially if de, nigger's dry. ,''