A CRUEL HOAX.

Nelson Evening Mail, Volume VII, Issue 8, 9 January 1872, Page 2

A CRUEL HOAX.

(From the G. JR. Argus) Oa Christmas eve last, two well-dressed and respectable-looking men arrived afc aw up-country town, on their way to the Murray Creek reefs. They put up at one sf the leading hotels for the night, intending to continue their journey in the morning. After refreshing themselves they strolled out together to admire the beauties and curiosities of the place, if they could discover any. Their distinguished appearance and extensive get-up at once attracted the attention of a fewresidents in the town, who were, as usual, hanging about the corners, and louDging under the verandahs; those under the verandahs scandalising their fellow-citizens at the corners, and vice versa. An incorrigible wag, who is a nuisance to the more respectable inhabitants of the place, spread the report, as soon as the visitors passed out of sijjht, that they were no others than Messrs. Brogden and Haughton, who had come specially to the West Coast with reference to the proposed Government railway and water supply schemes, and that they intended to honor our town by making it their headquarters during their sojourn in this part of the Colony. The bait look ; an impromptu deputation was at once organised, and the two strangers were waylaid, by a few exceedingly clever individuals, who have discovered enormous mares' nests before this, thaoks to machinations of the aforesaid wag. The deputation was headed by a celebrated local orator, who never neglects an opportunity of airing his eloquence. He congratulated Messrs. Brogden and Haughton, as he thought, on their safe arrival, and on their escape from the dangers of the snaggy deep. This referred to their coming up the river in a cargo boat. He trusted, among a great many other things, that the Brunner railway would soon re commenced and compleied. The spokesman especially addressed himself to the supposed Mr. Haughton, and assured him that he had the honor of his acquaintance years ago on the Otago goldf?elds, and he complimented the hon. gentleman on the wouderful improvement in his looks and general outward appearance, after the lapse of sach a length of time. The two swells remembering it was carnival time, entered into the spirit of the joke, as they thought it was, thinkiug they had fallen across a party of mummers or bummers, who were carrying on a harmless bit of masquerade, and congratulating themselves that they had at last met with some of the curiosities of the place. Mr. Brogden informed the deputation that the Brunner railway would be commenced at once, and concluded his speech by mviting them to a conference with him next day at noon (kuowing that he would be far on his road to the reefs by then), telling them at the same time that their advice and

assistance would be invaluable to his firm and himself in the vast undertaking jn which they were embarked. Mr. Hanghton renewed bis acquaintance with his friend the spokesman, and apologised for his not instantly recognising him with whom he had formerly been so intimate, and hoped the day was not far distant when the Government he had the honor to represent would see fit to do justice to their town and ifs inhabitants, who, he could perceive, had not been treated with the consideration their courtesy deserved. He concluded by informing them that he could see, in his mind's eye, the possibility of their town becoming the focus of an immense system of water supply. The honorable gentleman here looked at the river, in which there was a fresh at the time, and no doubt he was thinking of the chances of its overflowing its banks and submerging the adjacent country. The deputation thanked the two gentlemen for their reception, and, previous to withdrawing, requested them, as it was a season for rejoicing, to waive ceremony and favor them by taking wine with them. To this Mr. Brogden replied that he never took wine, but he had no objection to a pint of half-and-half. Mr. Haughton concurred, and the happy party adjourned to G 's bar, and here, in conseqnence of an accidental remark made by the landlord, who was not on the deputation and who knew the real names of his guests, the hoax on the part of the strangers was exposed, and we will draw the curtain on the scene which ensued. It is sufficient to say that the travellers resumed their journey that night, and that the members of that deputation will not be in a hurry to again entertain strangers, even though they might turn out to be " augels in disguise."