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Nelson Evening Mail, Volume VI, Issue 85, 12 April 1871, Page 2

Light, is a most successful burglar — bo " is always ''breaking in upon, some one. Is the Watch by the Rhine' made of German silver ? " This world ia all a fleeting show," said a priest to a culprit ou the. gallows.— • "Yes," was the prompt reply; "but if yon have no objection, I'd rather see the shadow a little loDger." Fortifications. — A schoolmaster, oa being asked what was meant by the word fortification, answered, "'Two twentiiicaI tions make a fortification." A Full Stop. — Elder Sister — "Now when you see a little round dot like that at the end of a sentence, it means you are to slop." Harry — " I will — and go and play." A Parson read as follows : — " Moses was an austere man, and made atonement for the sins of bis people." The clerk misunderstanding him, spoke thus : — "Moses was an oyster-mac, and made ointment for the shins of his people." An American paper gives the following recipe for going mad : — Be an editor ; let the printer's devil be waiting for copy; sit down to write an article, and get a few sentences done; then let, an acquaintance drop in, arkUtell you gossips and stories of the town; and let him sit, and sit, and sit. Very speedily you will go raving mad.