The Nelson Evening Mail. SATURDAY, MARCH 12, 1870.

Nelson Evening Mail, Volume V, Issue 60, 12 March 1870, Page 2

The Nelson Evening Mail. SATURDAY, MARCH 12, 1870.

"How wretchedly dull everything is." Such is the exclamation that greets the car at every turn, nor have we yet come in contact with a single individual possessing the hardihood to questiou its correctness. Merchants and storekeepers, employers and laborers, all are loud in their complaints, but we doubt whether any one of them is affected by the dulness of the times to the same extent as the editor and factotum of a daily paper. With nothing stirring in the shape of news, with no theme of interest on which to frame a " leader," he is still required to fill the accustomed number of columns, straw or no straw, he has to turn out his complement of bricks — and as he wearily wends his way homewards, after toiling through the drudgery of the day, he perchance hears from some one who has not the faintest conception of the labor that was requisite to compile the few columns of reading matter he holds in his hand, the cheerful and encouraging remark : " What a stupid paper, there's positively nothing in it." Now, we do not questiou the justice of such a remark — occasionally, we fear, it is only too true — but then we must urge our plea that "out of nothing, nothing is made." There are times when everything seems to conspire against the hapless editor, and such an one is the present. Business is flat, "news" is stale, aud even the pursuit of money making itself is just now unprofitable. There was a time when the native war always furnished matter for comment or report, but now, although our relations with the Maoris are on no better footing than they were then, there is actually nothing to communicate to our readers on that head. Even Te Kooti, who for the last eighteen months has been a real friend to the editor in distress, fails us in our present extremity, and from his sequestered retreat in the Uriwera country no tidings reach us of our cat- like enemy. If he would only, in consideration to the newspapers, kindly put himself in the way of being killed once more, and after a month or so, reappear on the scene, he would 'without injuring himself in the smallest degree, be conferring a lasting obligation upon those who have to cater for a news-devouring public. But as matters now stand, he is worth absolutely nothing to us. Quietly and securely stowed away in his mountain retreat he bids defiance to Branuigan's bewildered "bobbies," while our friends the Arawas do not care to undertake the pursuit of so wily a foe upon such terms as are offered to them, aud so, in sheer despair, we are compelled to give up all idea of making anything out of Te Kooti until he chooses to emerge from his hiding place. Other subjects of general interest there are none, and we are therefore driven to matters of minor importance to fill the columns which day by day have to be provided for an insatiable public. And what have we in our own province to assist us in our endeavours ? Wangapeka is in abeyance, Colliugwood is in expectancy, the West Coast is in statu quo from want of the necessary water for mining operations. The weather and the crops combined are usually considered a fruitful theme on which to enlarge, but the latter are all harvested, and the former is too • dry a subject to treat by itself ; even phormium tenax, that much enduring article, is worn threadbare, and has been spun out in leading articles to such an extent that it will bear no further strain in that way.

Then, as to strictly local items of news of the "accidents and offences" class, there is positively nothing to record — our seniors are so decorous and well-behaved, that it is a rare occurrence to find even a "drunk and disorderly;" our children are too steady on their legs to allow of their falling down and inflicting upon themselves any such injuries as can by the utmost ingenuity be made to appear of

sufficient importance to entitle them to a " local ;" our horses are so kindly dispositioned, and so well trained, and, possibly, so lazy, that they never by any chance run away, and our., fire brigade and waterworks are in such a state of efficiency that no fire dares to break out in our midst. Thanks to an erratic phenomenon of the Aurora family, which so far forgot itself as to appear in the oriental sky on Thursday night, we were yesterday able to furnish our readers with a " local " paragraph, and, as the Gheber prostrates himself in adoration before the rising sun, so, says our reporter, did he how his head in gratitude to that mysterious light, as he reflected with intense satisfaction, that when reduced to writing it was "good for" an eighth part of a column at the very least. If any of our readers have accompanied us thus far in this our lament, we trust that, should they ever have cause to complain that there is " nothing in the paper," they will charitably remember that, even for so heinous an offence as that with which they find fault, there are occasions when extenuating circumstances may reasonably be pleaded.