Untitled

Nelson Evening Mail, Volume V, Issue 9, 11 January 1870, Page 3

A petition signed by nearly 900 miners at the Thames, praying for the constitution of a Mining Board, was presented to the Governor on the 21st December. A San Fkancisco monthly line of packets is advertised in the Sydney papers The jfirst vessel was said to have sailed from Sydney on December 15. Amongst the latest Provincial absurdities recorded, is that of the Otago Provincial Council resolving to have a ** Hansard " of its own at a cost of between £400 and £500 for the session. The Timaru Herald states that a few evenings ago the carcase of a sheep was thrown into the sea at Timaru and when it got about 20 yards out a swarm of sharks were seen by many persons tearing it to pieces aud they would not desist although stones were thrown at them. It is also stated that on the morning of the late melancholy accident when Mr. Balfour lost his life, a great number of these voracious animals were seen from the deck of the steamer Murray by a lady passenger. The new Thames Tunnel has progressed so fast that it may now be said to be virtually complete, and will, it is expected, be in a fit state tor opening for public traffic about the middle or the end of November. The whole length, from what may be called the summit of Towerhill to the end of Vine-street, in Tooleystreet, on the south side of the river, is just 1320 feet, aud of this distance more than 1280 feet has already been accomplished and completed. Only about 40 feet remain to make the junction with the Tooley-street shaft. The Tea Ship Race. — For this great ocean race there were on the last occasion five competitors, the Ariel, Leander, Thermopyloe, Lahloo, and Sir Lancelot. The latter proved the winner, having arrived in the Downs on the 14th October from Foo-Chow-Foo after a passage of 88 days, the fastest on record. The Sir Lancelot left China at noon on July 17, and reached St. Helena on Sept. 11, 56 days out. The new Aberdeen clipper Thermopyloe, which arrived October % reached the Lizard from Foo-Chow-Fob in 88 days, but the sailing distance from the Lizard .to London docks occupied upwards of two days ; while the time occupied from the Downs to the docks being only one day, the Sir Lancelot thus beats the Thermopyloe by fully twentyfour hours. ' The latter ship was 90 days from Foo-Chow to London docks. Under these circumstances the "blue riband " of this justly celebrated race is yet retained by a Clyde-built ship, and that after the performance of the most remarkable voyage that has ever taken, place an the history of the China dippers. Why is a sick eagle flying like a bank robbery P-rrT-Beeause it's ian ill^'eagle procepdipg.' •.'..'!. How.does a butcher declare his affection ? — By sending a* tender line (tender loin).

j When the wine goes round freely, the head generally follows the example. As a leopard canuot help being spotted, is it possible for him to conceal himself. A Scotchman and an Irishman travelling in the bush together lost their way and eventually discovered a deserted hut where they found a miserable half starved chicken. Not being enough for both, it was agreed to reserve it until the next morning when the one who had the pleasantest dream was to have it to himself. In the morning Sawney told his dream. He thought angels were drawing him up to heaven in a basket, and he was never before so happy. Upon concluding his dream, Pat exclaimed, * c Och, sure, and be jabers, I saw ye going, and thought ye wouldnt come back, so I got up and ate the chicken myself,"