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Nelson Evening Mail, Volume III, Issue 209, 3 September 1868, Page 2

' How do you and your wife get on ?' 4 Oh, rather badly. She gave me her hand a while ago, and I thanked her ; she gives it to me now every time I speak, and I'd thank her not to.' The other day, at the Leeds Police Court, a man having all tbe appearance of one of Erin's sons, was charged with being drunk and disorderly, and asserting he was a Fenian. The Bench were about to inflict a very severe punishment, determining, they said, to make an example of those Irishmen who — when they were interrupted by a^woman who declared ' an sure, yer honor, he's not an Irishman at all, at all: he's a Dublin man.' The sentence was accordingly mitigated to seven days' imprisonment. It is altogether too absurd to say that ' Man is not perfect.' Who is there that has not met with many who were perfect strangers, some who were perfect rascals, and not a few who were perfect fools ? Copid shoots with a rifle now, and not with a bow and arrow. Else how is it that girls can hear the popping of the question ? 'My dear/ said a rural wife to her husband, on his return from town, * what was the sweetest thing you saw in bonnets ih the city ?' -* The ladies' faces, my love.' If five and a half yards make a perch, bow many will make a trout ? — lf two hogsheads make a pipe, how many will make & eigar ?