Original Poetry.

Nelson Evening Mail, Volume II, Issue 68, 22 March 1867, Page 2

Original Poetry.

WANTED,' a 'CHIEF cook. Esqcire Below. dedication —to political goukmands. " Soon as tbe evening shades prevail," I send you, by the Evening Mail, Two "little bits," whicb may avail Inpen'orths. BIT THE FIRST. We know, without consulting books, No animal but man s'er cooks ; A cook for men, then certes brooks Selection. ' A proclamation from the North, Thus (in oiher words) set forth ■ " Wanted, a cook of first-rate worth ; Good wages." One would be wanted, many knew, Long before last cook withdrew, When many said, What shall Ave do Wilhout him ? . 'Tis known the late chief cook did call A mteting in the Servants' Hall, To bid farewell to great and small, On leaving. The privilege of meeting there Was one he always prized most dear. He said, good masters never fear Discussion. Those English Barons —men and beef—Our souis and bodies filled in chief, And formed the greatness aud belief Of Britons. He hoped that all that he'd prepared Had kept their pockets unimpaired, And, if not relished, ne'er ensnared Digestion. He said, whoever filled his plaee, bhould be a man with honest face, And all his compounds worth a grace Afterwards. He cautioned those on left and right, Against ungoverned appetite, Nur cram down all things new to sight, But try them. Some bolted what they could not swallow, Fearing their stomachs might get hollow, And then the Doctor's bill would follow. Unwelcome. He thanked them for tlieir trust, so rare, To him (whom many thought a bear), And, kinnly parting, said " Beware Of Tom Thumb." Three candidates long letters wrote, Two 'gainst each other from these quote, Ignoring one who never smote, But waited. On character the(ir) papers say Enough to cause disputes each way : A printer's devil would gainsay An angel! Tall —middling—short —each size proclaim Their difl'rent heights in local fame. (The tallest pop'lar man became Se(a)-ceder) The second was so mediocre, He might be called our first dry joker, .Not strong enough to hold the poker To B—k—tt. Whether at table or at hoard, His absence we could ill afford, Some said he neve saved or cured Our bacon. The third was highly renommended — A Heav'n-born Tom Thumb descended — For one thing he could be depended, —Flummery. All these were urged to introduce — The better si ill, the more profuse — Some common rail for general use, Gridirons t Loco (and other) motives bred Distraction in each active head, Inflamed —not ucadmonished— They clamored. We all admit they're much required, The best one should be next admired, What suits our range is most desired, Says Prudence. If wider made than the fireplace, 'Twould bring on any cook disgrace. And he would need a larger place, J. 'raps Butler's.* * Kote by the Trintcr's Devil.—Lunatic Asylum.