Flings at Things.

Maoriland Worker, Volume 3, Issue 86, 1 November 1912, Page 1

Flings at Things.

1 — — "Smile, Bill, smile 1" Likewise Harry, Tom and Dick. Also Jim and Joe and Mick. Chuckle, Sarah, Rose and Ann. Giggle, Maggie, Maud and Fan. Down in Dunedin the other day Canon Garland, the highly-paid agitator for the Bible-in-Schools League, was interviewed by the "Otago Delirium Tremens." After riding his hobby horse to a standstill, he got off (very much "off") to unmuzzle some opinions concerning the "White Australia" policy. Then his frame figuratively shook wiish suppressed emotion and his eyes wept buckets of tears while lie sobbed out his impressions of the Brisbane strike. Said the Canon: "It was a dreadful time." 800-00-00-00-00-00-oo 1 "It was no strike, but an attempt at a rebellion." 800-00-00-00-00-00-oo 1 Another "hanky," please, mamma. "His Majesty's Government was superseded by a Strike Committee, which iesued its edicts and appointed its own police, and which claimed in an appeal to the Commonwealth Government the right to have the military placed at its disposal." Wasn't itihorful? "Mr. Fisher, the Prime Minister, to his eternal disgrace (Gee whiz!) refused to place the military at the disposal of his Majesty's State Government, alleging by way of excuse that a similar demand had been made upon him by the Strike Committee." Straight wire 1 "The way in which the situation was handled by the Hon. Digby Denham was simply magnificent." Simply magnificent! In fancy we can hear 'em laughing "fit to bust" when they read that in Brisbane. "I was closely observant of all that took place, and my opinion is that Mr. Denham did not make a single mistake or blunder in dealing with the situation." Denham ought to feel flattered. w ■ » "Comparisons are odorous," we are told, but this didn't trouble Garland. , He got right down to biz with inane , references to a matter about which he is totally unquaUfie&4o-speak. - :~*s. He put his spoke in concerning the Waihi trouble. ■ Thus: "There are points of resemblance between the Brisbane strike and the Waihi strike, particularly in the way in which the leaders are promising victory to the unfortunate strikers and declaring day after day they still have another trump card up their sleeve." That's of no quenseconse, however. But what think ye of this: "The destruction of tMe Union Jack at Waihi had its counterpart in the hauling down of the Union Ja-ck and the placing of the revolutionary red flag above it in Brisbane." "Higher powers interfered, however, for in a thunderstorm the only thing struck in the whole of Queensland was that revolutionary red flag." » • • Canon Garland. "Canon," forsooth I More like a penny popgun. His tearful wail, anyway, sounds like a debilitated squib going off in the darkness. The blasphemy of his attributing the striking by lightning of the red flag— If it did occur—of which, like the Scotchman, we "hae oor doots"— To the interference of "higher powers." Meaning thereby Providence. He's like the man who sees the hand of Providence in his negligence or delay to book a passage in a steamer that is wrecked with total loss of life on the voyage. But why the hand of Providence was not stretched forth to save all the doomed passengers he never pauses to inquire. » Presumably, all the victims of the terrible Titanic tragedy, all the miners who lost their lives in the Mt. Lyell mining disaster, werp destroyed because of the intervention of "higher powers." Though why Tihey should be singled out for destruction and the bloated steamship and mine owners escape "passeth all understanding." Such as Oanon Garland be your spiritual teachers, 0 workers! Wonder if this cluttering cleric has ever heard of Bahe, the Persian reformer of to-day, Who has said: "God is to every human being as great as the individual's capacity permits one to see Bim." How poor must be the mental capacity of the Bible-in-Schools champion I • * * Some choice specimens of the human ass somehow or other—how? has al-

ways puzzled* us—find a plae? on the borough councils of the Dominion. The Stratford Council, as a Bin#ance, f rinstance, comprises a rare bunch of the species. All with the brains of a pumpkin and the souls of a peanut.

The other day ths& brilliant geni* asses debated what the local sag was pleased to refer to as "several retains of correspondence" from the National Peace Council of New Zealand.

We are told that "the long fetter, with its glowing periods and virtuous indignation at 'martyrs , picking oakum, etc., as well as other mattera, ■ wa* given a patient hearing." The Mayor moved to the effect.* "That the National Peace Council of New Zealand be informed that this council is of opinion that the young men of the Dominion should submit themselves as required under the .Defence Act."

"Further, this council holds that the action taken by the National Peace Council is not in the best interests of New Zealand."

Councillor J. H. Thompson seconded the motion.

Councillor J.. McAllister said the bom' bastic spirit displayed by councils merely advertised these people j he advocated treating them with contempt. Councillor R. McK. Morison advised thafi the council should "receive the thing and put it in the fire." The letter should be treated with utter contempt.

_ Councillor King thought the resolution was a right and sensible ope. It might have the effect of damping the Peace Council's ardor. "If they don't like the country," concluded the speaker, "let tn'em get out of it, and the the tetter/ Chorus of donkeys—thai ie, «ooncillors: "Hear, hear."

Or did the reporter mietakel their braye for "Beer, beerl"