Flings at Things.

Maoriland Worker, Volume 3, Issue 82, 4 October 1912, Page 1

Flings at Things.

"Sunny Nelson," its admirers oajkit. "Sleepy Hollow," sneer its tors. It is well worthy of the first/appellation. The second is a base calumny. Ambassador Bryco raved over its ideal situation, beauty and climate. Thon Minister of Railways Hemes , ' came along with.the opinion, that it was "the prettiest, nicest andeleanesfc city in the Dominion.'' And still Nelson can get it* hat.?on. without the aiU of, a shoehorft. * # * Some other towns ( and townlets of New Zealand have not been so flatteringly described of late. Masterton, for instance. A member of a touring theatrical troupe recently painte4 a cheerful picture of it. "Masterto.nl" he said. "I spent a whole year there in, one day. It's not dead—merely unooitsoi-> cms." , . That ought to wake it up gnyway. *» • ' Then there's Gisborne. That's where a young lady the oth,er day sot stuck in the muid in a principal street; and had to betdug out with a spade. Now a young man hasicome out witK! crushing condemnation of the pieced ' He gave as his reason for fc|king Gisborne that lie had been fed>'ilmost solely on pumpkins duringliie bojourn there. He resented this peculiar form of vegetarianism, the diet, in hi? being unfit for any ordinary human. "They shouldn't call it Gisborne," he said, "but the 'town of pumpkins.*'' I've tried three places, and it's been, the same old pumpkin for almost every meal." Glorious Gisborne—we'll have to work up aii agitation to have its name , changed. "Pumpkin Town" ought to fillUiee , , bill, * it » Now turn we to Tβ Kuiti. This is described as * mushroom township with a mixed lot of r§aidants. Lawyers, land-grabbers, commission agents, and boarding-house keepers form the backbone of the population. The chief industry is said to be ci peculiar kincl of pigeon-pluclang. It consists of carving up Maori leases and disposing of the goodwill. A person inquiring for land finds himself not in a wasp's nest, but in aa eagle's. And sharp are the eagle's beat *n&, talons. Beware their clutch. * * » . 'A recent visiting magician was rougK on some, of the "dry" towns of tb4 South Island. Said he: •'lf I had to play in Ashburton cr Invercargill on a Saturday or Monday" I would /go away for a week-end if I bad to go 100 miles. There's a dead- , fee l about these towns." Whether you concur in that opinion ,, or not, still the fact remains that Southland generally is a cheerless place. Climatically especially. And the comfortless nature of ita "homes away from home" have been, roundly condemned by more than weary wayfarer. N Who has complained bitterly abouS, their empty fireplaces and-general ait{ of chill and gloom in the depths of winter. And it all goes to shJow what people say, and think about us and the io#nak we live in.