Heard and Said

Maoriland Worker, Volume 2, Issue 75, 16 August 1912, Page 1

Heard and Said

tfhat in the reign of Charles the Twoth tho burning of coal was accounted a public nuisance.

•flhat in the Dominion in this rear of wintry wretchedness the lack of any to burn is the nuisance—the direst of calamities, in fact.

Ihat a baby newly arrived in England from India is priced at £1000.

That, needless to Bay, it is not a human baby—it is an infant rhinoceious.

that the money value of the ordinary human ba"by in civilised society has hithertc been regarded as "nixie." That of. late, howerer, baby stork has jhown c. tendency to advance a fewpoints in the market quotations.

that the Commonwealth Government, for instant, with its baby bounty, con?}4fi'S each one worth at least a "fiver" to Austrulia.

fjtat the time allotted to the Oscar Asche-Lily Brayton season in Sydney is drawing to a dose , .

That b Netir Zealand tour will be next filtered upon by these dramatic stars and the interest of Dominion playgoers in the forthcoming visit augurs well fur a big boom.

That 'Kistnet" will be the premier theatrical attraction of the year, "Ben H«r" #nd the panto, given in.

/Tliat "D.G.5.," a Christchurch Labor scribe, some innuendoes in a fecent Column about people who "behave like fanatical dervishes, _ and With wild and Whirling denunciation fling themselves againstthc most impregnable portion of their opponents' tjefences."

That in his own little tinpot way, "P.G.S." is as fanatical as any Federation dervish.

That it is all a question of the point of view— "D.G.S." and others of like kklney are "calm, rational, and nor-mal-minded" human being?; the other fellows are "fanatics."

'fhat presumably Christ wasn't a fanatic when he .essayed "direct action" In the' telftpiV and "cast out them pverthrew the tables of the moneychangers and the seats of them tdiat sold aoves."

That the early bird catches the worm till fight, but he hns a long clay before him and needs it.

That the overage man* income is a par* adox.

flint in theje days of stress and struggle he can neither live within it Dor jvithotJt it.

*flmt some Cbristehurch barbers, not content with cutting hair, are now cutting prices.

that if the increased rates were general, many a humble toiler would have to go-t the missus to give him a frop when Iris roof-thatch required /tioivfng.

tfjiafc the cult of the long-haired would add largely to its numbers. That there is no ruie regarding tlie wearing Of hair by which mankind can safely be guided.

fhat Abselom got into trouble because *>f tfcii length of his flowing locks, #Ml* Samson V downfall dated from tft9 time Delilah got busy with the •hears on the source of bis strength. iThat some of the English advertising turf tipsters now" style themselves ■'unbeatable bank systesnatkians." I"hat, sll the same, the man with the bag (and the boodle) smiles as serenely a<l erer.

That "Ben Adhem" is giving the Federation of Labor a "leg-up" in the .columns of the "Petone Chronicle." That "Ben" is the only contributor to any Dominion paper with a good word to say for the Federation and its objects,

That, in the words of the immortal Rip Van Winkle, we "vish him gut' lielt, mid his family gut helt, and may ,dey all leef long und brosber." Thai the little liamlet of Levin has'had the limelight of notoriety thrown upon it by a local Scotchbyterian par«on.

Thiit ho has accused Levin of leading a riotous life and "going the pace." {That some giddy old bowlers have actually been "kissing Kitty" on Sundays, and fhe golfers are said to be fontemplatrng a fracture of the Sabbath.

That it is quite the correct thing to stay away from church, and the young fnen and young married people are particularly faithful followers of the fashion in this respect. Thftt it is really awful to dwell upon the dreadful depths of depravity into which the Levin people have <$-ink. the saviours of: the country—the Masse? MinistTy—had a "night out" in Wellington Town Hall on Monday of- last week.

•that there was a monster crowd to hear Massey and his henchmen hold forth,

and the enthusiasm of the "awjence" was "tremenjous.' That all the stock platitudes—"conserving the liberties of the people," "the beginning of a new era," "the glorious privilege of being independent," "otlt to give every man freedom of Speech," and sooorn r ad infinitum — were trotted out- and given an airing. That all the speeches went to show that the millennium was close at hand and even now we can sight it in the offing, with all sails set to catch the favoring breeze of "pure and proper administration and legislation." That there is such an obvious destiny in the accession of Massey to power that really,'to quote Dickens, "one might almost be induced to cross one's arms and say, like those wicked Turks, there is no What's-his-name but Thingummy, and What-you-may-call-it is his prophet."