The Labor Party and its Tory Friends.

Maoriland Worker, Volume 3, Issue 54, 22 March 1912, Page 13

The Labor Party and its Tory Friends.

By CITIZEN

The, closing of the session must have b<'<'ii .iii imiiK.'iiso relict' to the "Doi!?.iiiwiL :: newspaper. That excitable 1'(".m;i1o would certainly have broken a iil-Mid v-.--.vcl had the tension been continued niiK-ii longer. The, daily shriek emitted before tiio no-coniidence vote, was taken was pitched in so a key and was oi so explosive, a nature thai no human frame, could have Iony; withstood the strain, and it was really cruel of Ward u> keep the poor thing in agony day alter day. Alter all the. terms ot' reproavh to be found in "llrs. Caudle's Curtain Lectures" had been exhausted, a last despairing appeal was made to the Governor to bring that dreadful man Ward to his souses, and when this failed, the Opposition happy family no doubt assembled and ■discussed —

'•What reinforcement could bo gained

from hope. If not, what resolution from despair."

It was according , decided to try to entice a few Labor members into the squatters' fold, and certain advances to lliat end were made by the "Dominion." Jiut the awkward hobbledehoy blandishments of that unfortunate ambassador had no other effect than to raise a few smiles of amused contempt. What was to be done next? It was clear that without the votes of some of the Labor members, the market value of Massoy's stock was nil, and as the Labor members could not he cajoled they must be coerced.

The fiat went forth that Mr. Payne was to be the first victim, and that lie was to be politically annihilated without benefit of clergy, by a charge of having accepted a money bribe. The campaign (no pun intended) was beautifully arranged, and the dreadful tragedy was to be enacted on the floor of t ; he House. Mr. .Massey seems to have had in his pocket an extract from a private letter, carefully copied out, with the names omit ted, so the writer could not be called to account for libel. Mr. Dickson was to fire the first shot, and Mr. Massey was then to bring up his heavier metal and crush the hated foe. Hut, alas I the best laid schemes of mid and men gang aft agley. Mr. Dickson duly fired his popgun, and Massey immediately sprang up, raised bis blunderbuss and pulled the trigger. But the wretched machine had an overcharge, of powder and no shot, and it kicked so infernally that Massoy went head over heels and was the only person hurt, lie picked himself up, brushed his clothes, spat out a little l.lood and a few front tcoth, and. when he had recovered his breath, explained tTiat Tie didn't know the dam thing was lo.ulod, or that it wwit off by accident, or something. In the words of tiho celebrated MaeFlecknoe, he

"Promised a play <md dwindled Jo a farce."

Tlio squatter's parly has fvtr since boon trying their best to forget all about this disastrous misadventure, but it will linger in the memory of Labor for many a day in tine sweet byn&ndbye. Mr. Massey's Cabinet is etill in the rtouds, and likely to remain there.