OUR SHORT STORY

Maoriland Worker, Volume 2, Issue 33, 20 October 1911, Page 7

OUR SHOR T STORY

My first .acquaintance, with the uin-brclla-man made mc a victim of circumstances. My best girl had taken mc to see some friends, of her's in. the country. It rained, when we started out, and my clumsy manner of shielding my young lady under my umbrella resulted in a. broken ostrich feather which decorated her headgear. She was very annoyed and announced her intention of walking under her own umbrella, but owing to it having not been opened for a 'considerable/ period, it proved very unworkable aaid past the strength of my —— companion. "Allow mc," , I said'humbly. She thrust it towards mc, and I excited my manly strength with disastrous consequences.' I loosened the handle, broke a rib of the frame, and another or two minor damages. Oh, what a war of looks passed bo.ween us! I was dishonoured, disgraced, and moreover, had to carry the pitiful wreck, while Dora, my best girl, walked indignantly two paces to the front. How far and how long we would have walked, thus I know not, but at last the -recumbent figure "o fa tattered tramp, lying ill the hedge, drove her back to my protection.

The tramp raised himself to a sitting position and took stock of us.

"Keep close to mc," I said bravely, and gripping our umbrellas matched boldly towards him.

'Have you a 'brella to sell, my lod?" asked the tramp, with an impudent grin. •

He was an umbrella man, his bag of tools was liis pillow-, and a clumsy bundle of dilapidated rag-sticks lay far back under the hedge.

"Mend your umbrella, miss?" he said, looking from mc to her.

"Yes! Let him mend it," she said, taking the umbrella and handing it to the man. . '

"My word, how did you manage to break it?" said the "mush-faker" (this being his professional name).

She .told him", sparing iio detail —not even sparing my blushes. Oh! and the artful "mush-faker" how he questioned and sympathised, and glanced contempt and indignation at mo .as the points of the accident were told; people passed and so did the time, and the discoveries that man mado in.-reference to the damage done that umbrella were past telling.

An hour saw the job clone, and then came the reckoning. Two new ribs (they were old ones out, of another), «. shilling ; three silk patches (old and doubtful), a shilling ; a new silver mount . (doubtful), eighteenpence; strengthening and refixing the- handle (a few winds of cotton did it), njncpence; the other damages lie repaired for nothing—total, four shillings and threepence. ' ' , "You said it would be a few. coppers, ,J I said aghast,. "NoWj sir, look 'ere/ he said; "look at the 30b; look you, lad 3', isn't it worth it?" ■ "Let him keep the umbrella," I said. "I'll buy you a new- one for half that pricc-i" "Miss," said the "mush-faker," "before I'd walk with a mean man. like liim I'd court a redcoat, s'elp mc, I would." Thou he made some, highlycolourod. references to , my eyes, face and figure that were very ungeiitlemanly and unkind. ' f Oh, 'pay him," said Dora, "and let us get away."' I had nothing but a shilling and a half-sovereign, and I tendered the halfsovereign. He hadn't got change, and we were miles from anywhere where change could be got. "I have it/ said the "mush-man." "I'll make a sacrifice. • Umbrellas dou't last for ever, do they?" I smiled and said I didn't -think they did. . "You're right, sir," -said the "'mushman," as if struck with my superior intelligence .and corroborative statement which agreed with a mere idea he had put forth. "Now, .what I'm going to do with you and the lady, sir, is to offer you the choice of any umbrella amongst this select par-eel I have with mc to-day." He- brought out "friends of other days" and told us to make our choice. Dora shuddered, and thought of vermin and fever, as belonging fro the dusty fossils. I said I'd rather have the change. It was a matter of great concern, to mc, as I only Lad a shilling besides. "I'd rather give yon the change if I had it," &aicl the "nmsh-faker," "but, not having it, I'm prepared, as a business man to oblige a, customer, to lose by it." Dora and I stood in perplexity, which the "mush-man" cut ehort by making a selection for us and bundling up the rest, he picked, up his possessions, took off his hat, and wishing us good •afternoon, hoped and trusted wo should have good health to make use of his gift. . I looked at Dora, and she looked at mo, and we reached the end of our journey in. silence. . Dora's friends perceived our lover's difference, and, laughed heartily over the oa-use of it, .and by-aaid-bye, before tihe night was over, wo laughed, too ; that is, aftor I had borrowed <a few Shilling 0$ friend's liusband.

The Umbrellar Man..

By ERNEST J. WHITTAKER.

We told ouriiostass to di»poSSip.| two -ragsticks we had had thrust "wpofy ■ tis, and I was just in time to s©6 making & bargain at the back ftoO? with our old friend the ' f mush-faker'- : to;■, purchase them at threepence each* jS|sk; wanted sixpence at least, , ' : '^f^ "Lor' luv yor, missus, ,, said v m%' "mush-fakef," "do- you—think >l(i|; How*b a man to honest living ii you take taimers ou him for an old rag on a stick. Hj&^i : I'll bo generous i I'll stand fourponojl apiece." ■'-.... . The bargaiix wa.s struck, and Dora and I tried to laugh, again, but Avo, couldn't. It was my fortune to nwcft him oiico again, but I was wieer> albeit 5 a sadder man. Hβ was selling timbrel--, las by mock auction at the Flat IroftMarket in Salford, and I lingered dftthe outside of the crowd to listen his oratory. - ; •"*" It was elegant, it was sublime, it wag captivating 1 Nay, times I was tempted'to plunge- my handintb my pocket to produce the necessary" two or three shillings to purchase |. bargain. Fortunately, I hadn't th| shillings, nor anything I could, change fotr them; so I listened and regretted the opportunity I was not taking the advantage of.

"Now, ladies and gentlemen, there'f. , a umbrella! Lor', strike, but that's a beauty. Hawbpindi alpacca, doubl<£seanied throughout, mallacco - carie __.. stick; set on a parago|._» frame, the very latest, and the very best. The gent as left that umbrella in a, first-class railway carriage wpum 1 weep tears of joy on mc if I'd. handed it to him and took a sovereign for niy. trouble.. If I handed it over the oOiiii- ~ ter of a shop in the city, you'd pay, mc two pounds, and sneak out of tbjf shop without a bill, for fear I'd mad# a mistake. It's the chance of a lifetime, I shan't put lip another liko \t to-night; soud .as a bell, I warrant/ and without flaw." He paused and surveyed his audience.

"Get your money ready," he contiil-' ued. '"The first as offers gets. Is. Wives, consider your husbands; sweet--hearts, consider the husbands going to get, and go nap_ on this uni-.-brella. A man under this is as saf© and dry as if 'he sat in his own oqsv kitchen. It doesn't need any word\qr mine; it speaks for itself. I'm not asking a sovereign for it; nor,iifteen shilf" lings. IVs here for ten shillihgS:~ke!V_ shillings!" ■ ~..

The "mush-faker" glanced at ine and smiled. "Come, I'll try you/ lie said; "It's liere for ten ? nine, eight, sevejv six, five —1 was going to say four! You can take it or leave it, or go lioan©' without it; otherwise consider you don't want it, " for not the ninetyninth part of a farthing will I take less: —three shillings."

His glance penetrated my inmost' self, and his expression was that of a sympathetic angel. • ■••:

"Ladies and gentlemen," lie said,, sinking his voice. '"I- shame for.you*, tshame for myself, that I stand on,you> ? market-place and offer this elegant imir brella lor a paltry three shilling's. '' I have no reserve on them whatever , , but the, united railway companies, who commission mo' to sell their goods, aspect fair prices. Ladies and gentlemen, you're not fair. I it down again. Lor 'strike! Two bob then; will any?, body let'me give it 'cm for a shilling?"

Several hands went up, and the "mush-faker-—singled a lady's umbrella from his bundle and opened it. for general inspection,; shook it to show its remarkable strength, and started' another oration of the many qualities of the umbrella-..he wished, jfco—m-ajee , them a present oL ■ , ; "A present for your best girl, loving wife or 'daughter/ the J&.e of which you can't ptu-chaso iii this town to-night uaideir a guinea. Oh, ladies, ladies; ladies, who you are, or what you .are, nudge . the gentleman alongside of you, .and -get liim xo-hu/ you "this!....lt., will be something prepared aa - aiust a rainy day. 1 admit it's no "use to-night; it has no value at present—nothing is of value till ; it is called into use. Money is valueless at the north pole, but, oh! how serviceable this umbrella would bo to Ifoop off the snow .and wind. Winter's- coming : take Time by the forelock tonif.lit. and speculate, a few shillings m this bargain I offer you. Why da sweethearts publish your blushes and kisses to the wide world, when you <sa» blush and kiss unseen under an umbrella ?" Oh, he could talk, and down hV came from a guinea to cighteeiiponcOj when a bold young gentleman, Willi a beofcrost ■ qouirteniaricc, liandcd up. the bits all ohango- for eighteen pence jtothe "inush-i'aker." • "You're a n-obloraaii," &aH "mush-faker." "Saving your_ money, up all these years and. then wisely investing it. Ybu'vo got a bargain." Tho purchaser and the young lady, ho had bought it for hastened away from the crowd, and I, too, sauntered in the same direction. The two lovers paused before- a well-. I'iglit&d shop and examined their bargain. They had been sold, took in, frauded, and choking disappointmentloft .thorn too full for words. • %hf> "mush-faker ,, was a cheat, a liar and c, rogue- The umbrella was a veritable' auush, a gamp, a rag-sticlr, *inythuig; = Uut 'on . unibreUa»; ,^^■■■. } ..,.,