Labour & Capital

Maoriland Worker, Volume 2, Issue 20, 21 July 1911, Page 16

Labour & Capital

MR. DOOLEY'S HUMOROUS VERSION.

"It was different wlujn I was a young man, Hinnissy. In thim days capital and labor was friendly, or labor was givin' its board an' 'lodgin's. Navther inthorfered with the other. Capital wint on capitalism' an' labor winfc on laborin'. In thim golden days a wurrkin' man was an honest artisan. That's what he was proud to be called. Tli' week before ilhction he had his pitcher in th' funny papers. He wore a square paper cap an' leather apron, an' he had his ar-rum arround capital —a rosy, biuivolint oF guy, wid a plug hat an' eyeglasses?. They were goin' to the polls together to vote foor simple ol' Capital. Capital an' labor walked ar-rum in ar-rum instead of havin' both hands free, as at prisint. Capital was e.-mtint to be capital, an' labor was used to bein' labor. Canital comes ar-round an' felt the ar-rum iv labor wanct in a while, an- iviry year Mrs. Ca;v'tal called on Mrs. Labor an' congratulated her on her score. Th' pride iv iviry artisan was to wurrk as long at his task as tho boss cud afford to pay th' gas bill. In return f'r his fidelity he got a turkey iviry year. At Christmas time Capital gathered his happy family 'round him an' in th' prisince iv th' ladies in th' neighboorhood give them a short oration. 'Mc brave la-ads,' says he, 'we've had a good year. (Cheers.) I have made a millyun dollars. (Sensation.) I attribut this to mc supeeryour skill, aided by ye'es arnest efforts at th' bench an' at th' forge. (Sobs.) Ye have done so well that we'd not need so many iv us as we. did. (Loud and. contrauyous cheerin'.) Those iv us who can do two men's wurrk will remain an' if possible do four. Our other faithful sarvints can c->me back in th' spring,' he says, 'if alive,' he says. An' th' bold artisans t sseel their paper caps in th' air and give three cneers f'r capital. They wurruked until ol' age crept on thim, an' thin retired to live on th' wishbones an' kind wurrds they had accamlated."

War is the statesman's game, tho priest's delight, The lawyer's jest, the hired assassin's trade. -"'—Shelley.