Comments: Common and Caustic.

Maoriland Worker, Volume 2, Issue 15, 16 June 1911, Page 6

Comments: Common and Caustic.

Ignor.an.ee ie Socialism's strongest foe. The way to kill it is to get subscribers for The Worker.

A "White Paper tells that in every British prieon cell is placed a book entitled, "The Healthy Home and How to Keep It." Humour will out.

An English agricultural lecturer the other day said there are 40 million rats in England. How could the suffragettes hope to evade the census when even the rats are numbered P

The main interest Christendom shows in the development of aerial navigation is its usefulness in the game between nation®., called war!

A Russian lady is petitioning for a divorce because her husband shot off her high heels as she was walking in the garden one morning. She ought to be thankful he didn't shoot her oif the heels.

W. M. Haddow, who has been an active member of the Socialist movement in Scotland from the time of the Scots Labour Party (1885) has been re-elected to Glasgow JbMucation Board, polling 26,889 votes.

London "Truth" after declaring that the Coronation service is a piece of mediaeval mummery, "one half grotesque and one half foolish," concludes "the reially solemn parts of the ritual are intermingled with ridiculous buffooneries." One wants to know whether , the "solemn parts" are in the • "grotesque" half or the "foolish" half.

When one considers "the number of N.Z. Labour "Leaders" now quiet and snug in Government billets he can't help thinking how time revises our familiar quotations. It used to be "My kingdom for a horse!" now it is "My soul for a job!"

Technical education will cur© unemployment. A Welshman having firstclass certificates and several diplomas after failing to find employment for several months applied for the position of porter in the local workhouse. The salary is £29 per annum. And one reads in a London society journal that "jewelled dog-collars continue fashionable."

An old Scots adage: "Oor Jen's hen's eggs ha'e aye two yokes." "The Barrier Truth" says Andrew Fisher, who seconded the vote of loyalty to King George, "is equal to Sir Wilfred Laurier, General Botha, Sir Joe Ward 'and Mr Asquith in the debates." To be equal to such a combination,Andy, to put it in his native lingo, maun bo a "dab haun!"

During the "All British" shopping week in .England a Leeds clothier had the following signs in hie window: "Pure Irish TweecLs : Made in Leeds;" "Real Harris Tweeds: Made in Morleyj" and "West or-England, guaranteed: Made in Batley." Mere were .another injustice to Ireland, an outrage to Scotland, and an insult to the "rest of England" all rolled into one —Morley is live miles from Leeds and Batley is where the cheapest of Yorkshire cheap shoddy is manufactured.

The captain and first mate of a Clyde pleasure steamer were discussing the respective merits of brain and brawn in making the world go round. The captain, as became & captain, stood for "brains," while the mate as strenuously argued in favour of "brawn." A lady crossed the gangway and approaching the captain said, "Please, tell mc, air, what time your boat starts?" "It starts, madam," said the captain still thinking on the subject of his argument, "It starts when I give the word." "Indeed," replied the lady, "I thocht it started when the engineer pii'd the lever!" " 'Brawn , again T" said the first mate ac he looked at the captain with a twinkle in his eye. Look round and tell mc what you see Yβ workers who have eyes — "The many sunk in poverty Beneath the smiling skies. Glad nature spreads her bounteous store That Ax,ii full well may fare, But idlers waste and cry for more, While workers lack their share!" Oh, list, and tell mc what you hear, Ye workers Avho have ears — "Why should ye all such burdens bear,

And toil 'midst cares and fears? Behold they who enslave ye so Have nought but what ye give,— Then bid the greedy vampires go, And learn ye how to live! 5. Think, then and tell mc what ye think, Ye workers who have brainsi —

But have the workers any brains P, Those who have will lose no time in subscribing to "The MaomljAnd Woekeb" and learning the straight road to ecoixomic emancipation.